


everything has changed.

by porcelainsimplicity



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom, X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Everyone's Around The Same Age, Except for the twins, It doesn't really have an ending, M/M, Old Fic Rework Into New Fandom, This is really weird to be honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 01:21:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 51,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3591012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porcelainsimplicity/pseuds/porcelainsimplicity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik looked up as the bell above the café door rattled, forcing himself to take a deep breath as the man he was waiting for walked inside.  He recognized him the moment he saw him, memories of the man being pointed out in photographs and brief meetings flashing through his head, and that was the instant where the depth of what he was facing finally hit him.  The man made his way through the crowded café and approached the table, taking off his jacket and slinging it across the back of the chair before smiling at the waitress that walked up as he sat down.  Erik's hands curled around the edge of the table as the waitress walked away and he studied the man for a moment, giving in to his need to state the obvious.  “So you are Hank.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	everything has changed.

**Author's Note:**

> alright, so i have been like majorly, majorly ill since around the end of november. (well it goes back beyond that really, but the major stuff started happening then.) basically, i stopped writing while going through all of this. i have several WIPs that i am going to finish, one at a time, starting soon, but i was lying in bed and i couldn't sleep, and this story that i'd kinda written in another fandom but not posted here came to mind, and i started recasting it with x-men characters, and the next thing i know it's 2:00am and i've reworked the whole thing and am ready to post it. 
> 
> they're probably all really out of character, but i felt like i could do that a bit with an alternate universe - no powers story. they're not themselves in this, basically. anyway, if you like it, i would appreciate knowing it.

Erik looked up as the bell above the café door rattled, forcing himself to take a deep breath as the man he was waiting for walked inside. He recognized him the moment he saw him, memories of the man being pointed out in photographs and brief meetings flashing through his head, and that was the instant where the depth of what he was facing finally hit him. The man made his way through the crowded café and approached the table, taking off his jacket and slinging it across the back of the chair before smiling at the waitress that walked up as he sat down. Erik's hands curled around the edge of the table as the waitress walked away and he studied the man for a moment, giving in to his need to state the obvious. “So you are Hank.”

The man laughed slightly as the waitress returned, setting his cup of coffee in front of him, then nodded as she walked away. “And you are the infamous Erik. I've heard quite a bit about you.”

Erik let his eyes briefly close as a wave of hurt washed over him, then opened them again to find Hank staring at him. "He talks about me?"

"About you, about the kids," Hank said, bringing the cup to his lips and taking a small sip. "He never used to, but once he found out that I knew, he's started to mention things here and there." 

Erik forced himself to take another deep breath, watching as Hank set the cup down and reached for a packet of sugar. "How did you find out then?"

"Jean," Hank said softly, pouring the contents of the packet into his drink and stirring it. "I ran into her when she was pregnant with the twins and offered up my congratulations, inquired about the father. I almost walked straight into a lamppost when she said it was Charles," he laughed. "She explained the situation to me." 

"My children are nearly three years old," Erik choked out. "How long has this been going on?" 

Hank glanced around the café and sighed heavily. "I'm not sure this is an appropriate place for that part of this conversation." 

"You're sleeping with my husband," Erik said pointedly. "I can't believe you have the nerve to think about appropriateness." 

Hank sat back in his chair and ran his hands over his face, sighing. "It's happened on and off since we were teenagers," he admitted quietly. "To be completely honest, it's never mattered if either of us was involved with someone else, it's happened anyway. I need him in a way that I don't expect you to understand. Or maybe you would. I imagine it's not that unlike the way you need him."

"This has been happening the entire time he's known me?" Hank nodded and Erik stared at him for several moments. "So my entire life with him has been a lie, then? Is that what you're saying?"

"No," Hank said, shaking his head vigorously. "No, not in the slightest. He and I could never have the life that you two have built together. It would never work, and we've always known that. He is with you because he wants to be, and he wants to be because he loves you. There is no lie about that." 

"Then what does he need you for?" Erik asked bitterly.

"I assume he needs me for the same reason I need him." Hank paused and sipped at his coffee again. "I can't explain to you why we keep doing this. I can't even explain it to myself. I've ruined enough relationships of my own over Charles, I don't want to ruin his too." 

"Well, it's a little too late for that," Erik declared, staring straight at Hank. "You're already ruining my marriage." 

"It doesn't have to ruin your marriage."

"What was I supposed to do then? Pretend I don't know?!"

Hank sighed and pushed his cup away from the edge of the table. "So you told him that you know, then?"

"No," Erik said softly, slumping down in his chair. "What am I supposed to do? Say, 'oh, and by the way, I know you're cheating on me' in the middle of dinner? No, I have to figure out how to bring it up first." 

Hank sighed again. "Look, Erik..."

"I want you to stay away from my husband," Erik said firmly. "I want you to stay away from him and leave us alone." 

"I can't do that," Hank replied, shaking his head when Erik started to protest. "No, Erik, I can't do that. And I think you'd find if you put the same ultimatum to Charles that he couldn't do it either." 

Erik pushed his chair back and stood up, reaching for his wallet and throwing some money down on the table. "Excuse me, I can't stay here and listen to this anymore." 

"Erik," Hank started, standing up and tossing money of his own onto the table, grabbing his jacket and following as Erik pushed his way out of the café. "Erik, wait!"

Erik shook his head and walked straight into someone, looking up only to find Charles's concerned eyes staring back at him. "Oh well isn't this just motherfucking perfect." 

"Erik," Charles began, only for Erik to push him away. 

"Don't fucking touch me," Erik spat out, quickly running off and blending in with the crowd on the sidewalk. 

"He knows," Hank said quickly, approaching Charles and staring off after Erik. "I don't know how he knows, but he knows." 

"Jean told him," Charles said softly, putting his hands in his pockets and heading off in the direction Erik had gone. "She told me when I came home to find her watching the twins instead of Erik." 

Hank fell into step next to him, sighing heavily. "I thought you said she was going to keep her mouth shut about it." 

"I did," Charles said, weaving his way through the crowd, his eyes searching for Erik. "She said she felt like she had to for the children. I can't really blame her for that." Charles sighed impatiently when they reached a crosswalk, wanting to dart through traffic but thinking better of it. "Fuck, we have to end this."

Hank's eyes widened in surprise. "End it?" he stuttered.

"I can't lose them, Hank," Charles said, pushing his way through the crowd the moment the cars slowed to a stop. 

Hank struggled to keep up but eventually found himself walking alongside Charles again. "Charles..."

"No, Hank," Charles said, stopping and turning towards the younger man. "It's time. Jean's right, you know. I've got to think about my children, and they need their daddy more than I need you." 

"I told Alex after I found out Erik knew. I thought this was finally going to be out in the open." Hank stumbled as someone bumped into him, grabbing on to Charles's elbow to steady himself. "Because we can't end it, Charles. We've tried to end it before. It's never worked." 

"You told Alex?!" Charles exclaimed, looking up to find Erik staring at them from a little further down the sidewalk. "Erik!"

Erik kept his eyes on Hank as Charles made his way towards him, closing them once Charles wrapped his arms around him, murmuring apologies. "Charles..."

"I'm sorry, love," Charles whispered softly, holding Erik as close as he could. "I never meant for you to find out like this." 

"You never meant for me to find out at all," Erik whispered back, opening his eyes to find Hank staring back at him. "I don't understand. He tried to explain it, but I just..." 

Charles brushed his lips along Erik's temple. "There's nothing to understand. I fucked up, and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." 

"No, no, you're not," Erik said, shaking his head. "You don't do something for this long and be sorry for doing it. I just don't understand." 

"I can't explain it," Charles admitted. "I don't understand it either. But I am sorry, because I know I've hurt you. I'm sorry for that." 

Erik took a deep breath. "I think we should go home and talk about this. All of us." 

"I don't think the children are going to understand, love," Charles said, a small smile on his face. 

"Not them," Erik said softly. "Him. And maybe whoever this Alex you were talking about is too." 

Charles glanced back towards Hank. "Alex is his partner. At least he was. I'm not sure how he's handled the news." 

"I hate how much I need you," Erik whispered. "I've always sworn to myself that if anyone cheats on me, I'm gone, and now here I am, and I just...you two look like you belong together.”

Charles blinked rapidly, his mouth open in shock. "Excuse me?"

"Seeing you two together like that, it's just..." Erik trailed off and glanced up at Charles. "I'm not having this conversation in the middle of a sidewalk. So you go get Hank, and have him round up Alex, and I'll cook dinner, and we'll figure this all out." 

Charles watched as Erik pulled away from him and walked away, his eyes following Erik's every move as he headed back in the direction of the café. Hank approached him carefully, finally dragging Charles's gaze away, and Charles slung an arm around his shoulders. "I'm confused and I think possibly more in love with him than ever. But you're apparently having dinner with us tonight, and you're supposed to bring Alex with you."

\------------------------------

Charles watched as Peter ran out of the kitchen, a small smile crossing his face when he heard Erik tell him not to run. He turned his gaze towards him and watched as he began to wash the dishes, taking a deep breath before finally bringing up what was bothering him. "Are you ever going to admit that you're mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you," Erik replied, glancing back at Charles. "Why would I be mad at you?"

Charles resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "How long have I known you? I know when you're mad at me. And pretending that all of this isn't happening isn't going to work either."

Erik sighed and turned back to the sink, staring down at the soapy water that filled the basin. "I don't know what you're talking about.”

Charles stood up and snagged his empty plate from the table, walking up behind Erik and reaching around him to drop it in the water. "The longer it takes us to deal with this, the worse it's going to get. And I don't want things to get worse. The past few weeks have been bad enough. We need to talk about it."

"The past few weeks have been fine," Erik said quietly. "We talked about everything, reached an agreement about you and him, and so I don't know what else there is to talk about."

"You've slept in Wanda's bed every night for the last three weeks," Charles said, sliding his arms around Erik's waist. "Things are not fine."

Erik stiffened and immediately regretted it, sighing loudly. "I've fallen asleep reading her bedtime stories. That's all. I've just been tired."

"More so than usual, and that is another sign that everything is not fine," Charles said, bending down to press a kiss along Erik's neck. "Jean told me you called the doctor this morning. I'm going to take the day off work and go with you to the appointment."

Erik sighed again and leaned back into Charles's embrace, letting his eyes slip closed as Charles's arms tightened around him. "He just wants to do some blood tests, and he'll probably adjust the medicine. There's no need for you to go with me."

"I'm going with you," Charles said firmly. "This isn't an issue we take lightly. You know that."

Erik shook his head. "If I was taking it lightly, I wouldn't have called the doctor. I'm just not worrying about anything until there's something to worry about. You're making something out of nothing, Charles."

Charles pressed another kiss to Erik's neck. "If that's all it is, you being a little more tired than normal and falling asleep reading stories, then tell me you'll be sleeping next to me tonight." Erik stayed silent and Charles rested his forehead along the younger man's shoulder. "We have to talk about this."

"I just need some time," Erik said softly, sticking his hands into the water and feeling around for the sponge. "It's not an easy thing to find out that your husband has a replacement all lined up for you, you know?"

"Listen to me," Charles said strongly, pulling Erik's hands from the water and spinning him around so they were facing each other. "Stop thinking that. He is not your replacement. No one could ever replace you."

Erik swallowed hard. "I'm just trying to figure out how we both fit into your life, and I can't work it out."

"Baby," Charles sighed, leaning forward and pressing their foreheads together. "Look, Hank's just a sidedish, alright? He's a sidedish that tastes pretty good but you're the main course that I came to the restaurant for. He's like the hotel room that you go to for a few nights and enjoy but you're the home that I always look forward to going back to. And all of this sounded so much better in my head." Erik laughed and Charles smiled, bringing their lips together softly. "It's you, Erik. It's always been you and it always will be you. Okay?"

Erik nodded and Charles kissed him again, and for the first time since he'd discovered Charles's affair, he kissed him back. 

\------------------------------

Erik pulled his jacket a little closer and watched as Wanda carefully climbed the steps to the top of the slide, smiling when he heard her shriek of delight as she sat down and grabbed onto the edges. He kept his eyes trained on her as he walked around to the front of the slide, crouching down at the end and waiting for her to come down. "Alex, you're being awfully quiet."

"I'm not sure what to say," Alex said softly. "All I can think about is that I'm standing in a park with you while Hank..." he paused and glanced over at Peter, "...sleeps with Charles." 

"The park is supposed to be a distraction." Erik smiled as Wanda slid down the slide and into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head before letting go and watching her run back to the steps. "Say anything. Ask me anything. Just stop thinking about that."

"Okay," Alex laughed. "So, how did you meet Charles?"

"We met at university," Erik said, starting to stand up so he could help Wanda up the stairs again. He paused when he saw Alex move over behind her and place a steadying hand on her back. "Thanks. A mutual friend introduced us at a party one night. Neither one of us was interested in being in a relationship, but what was supposed to be one night quickly turned into a whole lot more." 

Alex smiled at Wanda as she settled herself at the top of the slide. "So what else? Give me the whole story."

"The whole story, huh?" Erik asked, grinning up at Wanda and holding his arms open wide.

"Yeah," Alex said softly. "Hank's said some things, and I just...I think that things might not be quite so awkward if every thing's on the table, you know? I know about you, you know about me. Stuff like that."

Erik nodded as Wanda came down the slide, picking her up once she was safely in his arms and hugging her close. "Should I take that to mean Hank's mentioned my health?" he asked, carrying Wanda away from the slide and towards the swings where Peter was. "Enough of the slide for now, little one." 

"He didn't say much," Alex said, walking over and sitting down on one of the empty swings. "He just said that your health was one of the reasons you two decided to have children." 

Erik set Wanda down in one of the child swings, smiling at her as she quickly asked to be pushed. He pushed the swing gently and took a step back, watching Alex put Peter in another swing before getting a slow rhythm going much to Wanda's delight. "But he didn't go into detail."

"No." Alex smiled as Peter shrieked. "Look, if you're not comfortable telling me, that's alright. It's just that the stuff Hank said has me curious."

"No, it's alright," Erik said, glancing over at Alex. "I was diagnosed with cardiac ischemia when I was twenty-three."

Alex blinked. "I don't know what that is."

"Coronary artery disease. It restricts the flow of blood and oxygen to my heart." Erik sighed heavily. "I suppose the way to do this is to start at the beginning and tell you the whole story."

"If you want to."

Erik nodded. "Charles and I met at the start of my first year as a grad student, literally like the second night I was there. And it was just this whirlwind, you know? New life, the craziness of university, and he was there in the middle of all of it, just this steadying presence that I could count on. Everything happened so fast, we were spending every moment we could together, and we just...knew, I guess. It was only a couple of months before I realized he was going to be the one I'd spend my life with."

Erik stopped as Wanda called out to him, turning his attention back to her only to realize he'd stopped pushing the swing and it had come to a stop. "Oh, I'm sorry, little one!" He started to pushed the swing again and smiled when Wanda laughed. "Anyway, we'd been together for about six months when I woke up in the middle of the night with this horrendous chest pain. I'd been having a little bit of pain whenever I went to the gym, but I'd just thought that meant I was working myself too hard. This was a lot stronger than anything I'd felt before. Charles freaked out, I was rushed to the hospital, they did all these tests, that sort of stuff. And there I was, just turned twenty-three and being told I needed a double bypass or I was going to die."

Alex stared at Erik in disbelief. "You had a heart attack that young?"

Erik nodded. "There's a history of heart problems in my family, but up until that moment, I hadn't really paid that much attention to any of it. Needless to say, that night scared the hell out of both of us. And after that, we went through this period of time where we tried to figure out what we were waiting for, why we were wasting time when anything could happen at any moment, you know? So we fast tracked all the things that we'd talked about doing. We bought the house, we went to Paris, and when Jean offered to be a surrogate for us, we couldn't turn that down. They were born just about a month before we got married, and then I adopted the twins as my own."

"But you're okay now, right?" Alex asked, smiling when Peter called out that she was hungry.

"I'm as okay as I'm going to be," Erik said, stepping forward and grabbing onto the swing to stop its momentum. "But I do have to watch myself and what I do, take the absolute best care of myself that I can. I take a lot of medicine and I have a specific amount of exercise I'm supposed to do each day, but I'm a lot slower and a lot weaker than most men my age."

Alex nodded. "So that's why you stay at home with the twins, then? Hank mentioned that you don't work." 

"I don't work because I was smart enough to marry a man who makes a lot of money," Erik laughed. "No, seriously, one of the things we talked about before we tried to have kids was that one of us should be at home with them, and since Charles was so much closer to graduation compared to me, it wasn't that difficult a decision. Besides, it's probably better for me not to have to deal with the stress of a workplace." Erik glanced at his watch and then reached for Wanda, pulling her out of the swing. "How about we go grab lunch somewhere? Give them some more time together." 

Alex nodded and helped Peter out of the swing, watching as he ran to the car. "Can I ask, um, why you're so okay with all of this? It seems to me that you have more reasons that me to be upset about this, and you seem like you're taking this whole thing better than I am."

Erik sighed as they approached the car, setting Wanda down and digging through his pocket for the keys. "I am far from okay with this. I'm just trying to look at the bigger picture."

"And what's the bigger picture?" Alex asked, leaning against the front of the car as Erik opened the back door and put Wanda in her car seat. 

"I love him," Erik said softly, buckling Wanda into the seat and standing up, looking over at Alex. "I want him to be happy. And when I saw him and Hank together for the first time, it was just...Hank gives him something that I cannot give him, and he needs that something to be happy. And he gave up a lot for me, to take care of me right after the surgery and...if I have to share him to keep him happy, then I have to share him. I'd rather have part of him than none of him at all, or all of him but an unhappy him. I'm not sure that makes any sense to anyone but me, but that's just how I feel." 

"It makes sense," Alex said, pushing off the car and reaching to open the passenger side door. "It's not all that different to how I feel about Hank, to be honest."

Erik went around to the other side and got Peter settled into his car seat before he climbed into the driver's seat and shut the door, glancing back at the twins before sliding the keys into the ignition. "Now that you've heard my life story, does this mean that I get to hear yours over lunch?"

Alex laughed as Erik backed out of the parking space. "Mine's pretty boring."

"I still want to hear it," Erik said, putting the car into drive and heading towards the parking lot's exit. "First though, let's decide on where we should eat." 

\------------------------------

“Today was nice,” Hank said as Alex curled around his back, smiling when he felt a kiss brush across his shoulder. “We haven't had a day like that since...”

Alex sighed and pulled Hank closer to him, tangling their legs together. “Since you told me about him.” 

“He has a name, you know,” Hank pointed out. “You can use it.” 

Alex bit back a groan and instead smoothed his hands over Hank's bare chest. “Well maybe I don't want to hear his name while we are in our bed.” 

Hank shifted against him, turning his head to try and catch Alex's eye. “Alex, I thought you said that you were okay with things now.”

“I did,” Alex murmured. “I am. But that doesn't mean I want to listen to you talk about the guy you are fucking while you are lying in bed with me.” 

Hank sighed heavily. “Are you ever going to tell me what is really wrong? Because you keep using this as an excuse but I know it is more than that.”

Alex closed his eyes and buried his head in Hank's neck. “You know me too fucking well.” 

“No, I know you just well enough,” Hank said firmly. “Now tell me what's wrong.”

Alex sighed and slid his hands across Hank's chest again. “Wrong is probably not the right word for it. Nothing is really wrong. There's just...something on my mind. That's all.”

“And it's not Charles?”

“I thought I said I didn't want to hear his name while I'm in bed with you,” Alex groaned. “But no, it's not him. Though ever since I found out, it has sort of changed my thinking a little bit.”

“I am beyond confused, so if you don't start telling me what the fuck you are talking about soon, I'm going to start getting upset,” Hank said, bringing his hands up to cover Alex's. “Tell me.” 

Alex took a deep breath and squeezed Hank tightly. “It's been four years now, you and me. Do you realize that?”

“Four years, six weeks, and three days,” Hank said softly, laughing when he felt Alex nip at his neck. 

Alex laughed and nodded against him. “You win.”

“Don't ever question whether or not I know how long it has been since I met you,” Hank said, bringing one of Alex's hands up to kiss it. “I will never forget that day. Ever.” 

“I want to marry you.” 

Hank gasped and squirmed around in Alex's embrace, finally managing to turn around so he could stare at him. “You want to...”

“Marry you,” Alex said softly. “I want to marry you. But I don't know if that's what you want.” 

Hank leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together, bringing a hand up to Alex's face. “How could you possibly think that I don't want that?”

“Him,” Alex said simply.

Hank shook his head, bringing his lips to Alex's. “No. No, no, no, no, no. He's not part of this. He has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”

“I want you to be mine, and only mine, for the rest of our lives,” Alex whispered. “But you aren't only mine. And I'm not sure I could take standing in front of whoever marries us, listening to you promise to be faithful and true for the rest of eternity, knowing that as the words are leaving your lips, they are lies.” 

“I wouldn't be lying,” Hank said quickly. “That...that wouldn't be a lie.” 

Alex glanced up at him. “So if we got married, you would end things with him?”

Hank rolled onto his back and sighed heavily. “I've already explained to you how it's not possible for me to give him up.”

“Then your vows would be full of lies,” Alex said, turning his back to Hank. “And I don't think I could handle you breaking any more promises than you already have.” 

Hank stared at Alex's back for a moment before shifting onto his side, plastering himself along it. “But you still want to marry me, right?”

“Yes,” Alex said softly. “Though I'm not entirely sure why anymore. There's a large part of my brain that's constantly screaming at me, telling me you are not the man I thought you were. Maybe it's right.”

Hank felt a sharp pang in his chest and he scrambled over Alex, settling down in front of him and kissing him hard. “It hurts so much to hear you talk like this. Knowing that my stupidity when it comes to him is the reason for it makes it even worse.”

“You know, there were times today when it was almost like how it was before,” Alex said, pulling Hank closer to him. “Before I knew about him, and I thought that you belonged only to me. But then you'd smile at me and the first thought I'd have was of whether you smile at him like that too, and it just...I hate this, Hank. I hate it. I'm trying to be okay with it, but I hate it.” 

“I know,” Hank said quietly.

“Darwin thinks I should leave you,” Alex said, sliding a hand around the back of Hank's neck and caressing the soft skin there lightly. “But I said that I can't give you up. I suppose it's not all that different to how you feel about him.”

“Maybe,” Hank murmured. “But I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with you.” 

Alex smiled and pulled Hank into a kiss. “I think I really needed to hear that,” he admitted. “You haven't said it in awhile.” 

“Haven't I?” Hank asked, rolling onto his back and pulling Alex on top of him. “Well, I do. I love you. I can't wait to marry you.”

Alex laughed and pulled Hank's arms above his head, pinning them there. “Who said we were getting married, hm? I haven't asked you yet.”

“Then I'm asking you,” Hank said, grinning up at him. “Marry me?”

Alex shook his head. “I don't know how to get past this, Hank.”

“Then we'll figure it out,” Hank said, his smile fading a little. “I know we can work this out. However long it takes. I don't care if we get married next week or next year or a decade from now. But you can't just bring this up and then not get us engaged. You've already got me asking instead of you.”

Alex bent down, kissing him softly. “This is the most pathetic proposal ever.”

“We can make up some story to tell everyone,” Hank said, looking up at him. “Just say yes.” 

Alex stared at him for a moment before nodding slowly. “Yes.”

\------------------------------

“Hank and I are getting married.”

Darwin stopped with his beer halfway to his mouth, staring over at Alex. “Tell me that you aren't this stupid. Please.”

“Darwin,” Alex sighed, sitting down on the sofa next to his friend. “I was hoping you would be happy for us.” 

Darwin laughed and took a long sip from the bottle. “How exactly am I supposed to be happy for you when I know that you're just going to get hurt? Again, I might add.”

Alex slumped down and leaned his head back, staring up at the ceiling. “I'm in love with him.” 

“Love doesn't solve everything,” Darwin said, leaning back and looking over at him. “Love isn't going to fix the problems that you two have.”

“No, it's not,” Alex said. “But it's a reason to try.” 

“You deserve better than this.”

“Maybe,” Alex said, shrugging. “Maybe I'll look back on all of this in twenty years and wish I'd listened to you. But I don't want to lose him, Darwin. I want him around for the rest of my life.”

Darwin downed the rest of his beer and reached out to set the empty bottle on the coffee table. “Two months ago, I would have been thrilled for you. I would have invited the two of you over for dinner, made fun of you when you acted like sappy, lovey dovey idiots, and started planning your bachelor party. Now I'm not sure if I can be in the same room as Hank without punching him.” 

“There is absolutely no reason for you to punch him,” Alex said quickly. “So get that thought out of your head right now.”

Darwin shook his head in disbelief and stood up, making his way towards the kitchen to grab another beer. “No reason to punch him? Can I remind you of the two weeks you spent sleeping in my guest room, more heartbroken than I had ever seen you, because you found out about this guy he fucks around with?”

“I've come to terms with his relationship with Charles,” Alex called out, glancing in the kitchen's direction. “I wish you would let it go.”

Darwin walked back into the room, two bottles in his hands. “You have not come to terms with their relationship, and therefore I cannot let it go.” 

Alex sighed and took the offered bottle as Darwin sat down next to him. “He gets something from Charles that I cannot give him, and it's something he needs. Who am I to deny him that?”

“His fiancé,” Darwin pointed out, taking a long sip from his bottle. “You have every right to make him choose between you and Charles.” 

Alex drained half of his drink and shifted, leaning against Darwin's side. “He'd choose Charles.”

“Then how can you possibly think that marrying him is a good idea?” Darwin exclaimed. “That's proof that this is an absolutely horrific idea!”

“Darwin,” Alex started, but Darwin cut him off.

“It's Charles this time. What are you going to do when it's someone else next time?” 

Alex sighed and polished off his beer, dropping his head onto Darwin's shoulder. “There's not going to be a next time.”

“How can you be sure of that?” Darwin asked softly. “There never should have been a first time.” 

“I...” Alex stuttered and Darwin wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “I don't know.” 

Darwin sighed and pulled Alex closer. “I don't want you to get hurt again. I don't think you're over being hurt the last time.” 

“I am,” Alex protested weakly.

“You are not,” Darwin said firmly. “You think I can't tell? I know you better than that.”

Alex laughed a little. “You know me better than anyone, I think.” 

Darwin turned and pressed a kiss to the side of Alex's head, his eyes slipping closed briefly. “I think you are an idiot. But whenever it is you realize that this is a mistake, whether it be twenty days or twenty years, I'll be here.” 

Alex nodded against him. “I don't want it to be a mistake, Darwin.”

“Then I hope for your sake that it's not,” Darwin said softly. “But I'm not getting those hopes up too much.” 

\------------------------------

“I'm going to take the twins to the city for awhile.”

Charles dropped his fork back down to his plate and looked up, gaping at Erik. “Excuse me?”

“You can't talk me out of this. I already called Mama and told her to expect us,” Erik said quickly. “I told her you had a big case to prepare for and so you wouldn't be coming with us.”

Charles pushed his chair back and walked around the table, dropping to his knees by Erik's chair. “You're leaving me?”

“No,” Erik said, turning to look at him. “I just need some time to think, and I cannot do that when I see you every day.”

Charles swallowed hard. “You need time to think about leaving me?”

“I need time to figure out how to make things okay again,” Erik said softly. “I need to figure out what I want.”

“Whatever it is, I'll give it to you,” Charles blurted out, grasping Erik's hands in his own. “A bigger house, a nicer car, a shinier band for your finger. Anything.” 

Erik shook his head. “Except for the one thing I want more than all of that.”

Charles sucked in a deep breath. “If you want someone else, I'll learn to live with that.”

“No, Charles,” Erik said firmly. “I don't want anyone else. Unlike you, I don't need to look elsewhere to be happy. I have everything I want right here.”

“I am happy,” Charles protested. “You have always made me happy.”

Erik smiled sadly. “I don't know if I believe that anymore.”

“Which is why you want to leave me,” Charles choked out.

“I don't want to leave you!” Erik yelled, pushing his chair back and standing up. “I want to go back to my life as it was two months ago! But I cannot do that! And I cannot just pretend to be blissfully ignorant to what you're doing either!”

“But you're not,” Charles said quickly, standing up and grabbing Erik by the arms. “You know. You've known. You invited them over here and made them dinner and...you came up with the arrangement! You allowed this to continue, gave it your blessing!”

“And I wish I hadn't!” Erik pulled himself away from Charles's grasp and stalked out of the kitchen, snagging the basket of clean laundry as he passed it and heading towards their bedroom. Charles followed him, diving forward to catch Erik as he started to collapse when he reached the foot of the stairs. 

“Baby,” Charles said worriedly. “Charles, talk to me.” 

“Dizzy,” Erik murmured, letting the basket slip out of his hands. He whimpered as Charles swung him up into his arms and carried him up the stairs. “It's alright.”

“It is not,” Charles said firmly, carrying Erik into the bedroom and laying him down on the bed, crawling onto it and settling next to him. “That's the third time this week that this has happened.”

“Fourth. And it's just stress,” Erik said weakly, laying his head on the pillow and letting his eyes close. “That's what the doctor said. I called him this afternoon after it happened again.” 

Charles stared at him for a moment. “Is that another reason why you want to go to the city?”

“I need a break, Charles,” Erik said, sighing when he felt Charles curl up along his side. “I have to figure out how to deal with all of this because right now, I'm not dealing with it at all, and it's starting to affect my health.” 

Charles leaned over and kissed him softly. “I love you. You do know that, right?”

“I've never thought for a moment that you don't,” Erik said, slowly opening his eyes as the dizziness began to fade away. “I'm just not sure if that's enough anymore. I'm a selfish man, Charles Xavier. I want you all to myself. But the more I learn about you and Hank, the more I realize that I never have had that. On top of that, I cannot think only of myself anymore. I have to think about the twins too. And what is best for them is to have both of their parents around, so I have to figure out a way that I can be okay with all of that. Right now, I'm not.”

Charles stroked his hand across Erik's chest gently. “You know if you go there and tell your mother all of this, she'll probably never let me see either of you ever again.”

“That's why I didn't tell her why the twins and I are coming to visit,” Erik said, turning his head to look at Charles. “I love you, and I promise you that I'm coming back and that we'll get through this. But right now, I think we need a few weeks apart.” 

Charles brought his hand up to curve around Erik's cheek. “Can I drive you down?”

“I've arranged for a driver to pick us up Thursday morning, before you go to work.”

“Can I call you every night?”

Erik smiled softly. “You better.”

Charles ducked his head down onto Erik's shoulder. “I won't see him while you're gone.”

“Yes you will,” Erik said quietly, running his fingers through Charles's hair.

Charles started to respond but was cut off by a shriek from the hallway, followed by the soft thumps of the twins making their way down the stairs. “I think our children just found the spilled laundry.”

Erik pushed at his shoulder. “Go get them. Let them sleep in here with us tonight.”

Charles tilted his head, pressing his mouth against Erik's in another kiss. “They'll love that.”

“So will you,” Erik said. “I know it will kill you to be away from them.”

“Yeah, it will,” Charles said, standing up. “But if being away from them for a few weeks means that the three of you stay here forever, then that's a trade I think I can live with making.”

\------------------------------

Darwin sighed as Alex stopped in front of yet another jewelery store window. “You know, I agreed to have a couple of beers and go watch the new Bond flick. Not stand around while you look at rings for your adulterous fiancé.” 

“Adulterous is a big word for you, isn't it?” Alex countered back. “And I can't help it. It's bothering me that we don't have rings yet.”

Darwin shook his head and grabbed onto Alex's elbow, pulling him away from the window. “It's a good thing that you don't have rings yet. That means you still have time to come to your senses and realize that marrying Hank is the worst possible idea you have ever ever had.” 

Alex pulled his arm from Darwin's grasp as he fell into step beside him. “You really aren't ever going to be okay with this are you?” 

“I don't understand it. At all,” Darwin said firmly, glancing around before pulling Alex around a corner. “You know what? Fuck the movie. Let's just go get drunk.” 

Alex laughed and shook his head. “I'm starting to wonder if you do anything other than drink.”

“I do plenty of other things, thank you very much. I work, I cook, I sleep.” Darwin turned to Alex and flashed him a grin. “I just happen to be much better at drinking than anything else.” 

“Well, maybe if you spent less time getting drunk and more time actually talking to the people at the bar with you, you might find someone that makes you realize that there is more to life than working, cooking, sleeping, and drinking,” Alex said, walking up to the door of their favorite bar and pulling it open. 

Darwin laughed. “That's not going to happen. I told you, man, I've given up on relationships.”

“Yes, but you still haven't told me why,” Alex said, taking off his scarf and following Darwin towards the bar. “Whatever happened to that guy that you were like in love with? You hardly ever talked about him, but fuck man, it was obvious.”

“It wasn't that obvious.” Darwin sighed and nodded at the bartender, quickly ordering up a bottle of tequila and a couple of beers. “He, um, he was with someone else,” he said carefully, sending a quick glance in Alex's direction, inwardly sighing in relief when he noticed Alex wasn't looking at him. “And I'm not a homewrecker.” 

“Shit, man,” Alex said, smiling as the bartender set a shot glass down in front of him. “You sure they were solid? Maybe he's single by now.”

Darwin grabbed his shot glass from the bartender's hand and knocked it back, trying to figure out how the fuck he ended up in this conversation. “They were, um, engaged last I heard.” 

Alex shook his head and picked up his glass, knocking the shot back before turning to look at Darwin. “His loss, man. And yours too, if you're going to use that as a reason why you shouldn't find someone.”

“I'm sure I'll change my mind someday,” Darwin said, throwing money down on the bar and snagging the bottles, turning to walk towards a table. “Once I get lonely enough to convince myself that it's better to be with someone than to wait on that whole love thing. Clearly, it's not going to be finding me any time soon.”

Alex gathered up the glasses and followed along, sinking down into the booth's bench seat and propping his legs up on the opposite one. “Love's not that fucking simple, Darwin. That's why it's so fucking amazing when you find it, and why it's worth fighting to keep it.” 

Darwin poured them another shot and he quickly downed his. “And somehow the conversation has been turned back towards Hank. You're amazingly good at that.”

“Please, you gave me an open invitation when you said the word homewrecker,” Alex said, kicking at Darwin's thigh gently before knocking back his shot. “And well, it's the truth. There's more to love than just monogamy and eternity and all that bullshit.” 

“Those are rather big words for you, aren't they?” Darwin teased, sliding Alex's beer across the table. “You never used to think that stuff was bullshit, by the way.”

Alex snatched the beer up and took a long swig. “It's not. It just...is.”

“A contradiction in less than ten words,” Darwin laughed. “That's impressive.” 

“Look, all I'm trying to say is that there are ideals, and there is reality. Having Hank all to myself for the rest of eternity? That's an ideal.” Alex reached for the tequila and poured himself another shot. “Having to share Hank with Charles? That's the reality. Life is far easier to deal with if you live in reality instead of an ideal fantasyland.”

“Yes, well, my reality is a two-bedroom apartment and no one to share it with,” Darwin said, leaning back and sighing. “Finding someone to share it with is the ideal.” 

Alex shook his head. “No, it's just a part of reality that hasn't happened yet. Christ, I never knew you were so defeatist about this. It's depressing.”

“Not defeatist,” Darwin protested. “Just realistic.” 

Alex tilted his head back and stared up at the ceiling, taking in the hazy feeling as the alcohol started to affect him. “Alright, enough of this. Let's talk about something else.”

Darwin's eyes drifted over the sinews of Alex's neck, watching as they worked while Alex swallowed down his shot. “Like what?”

“What the hell happened at to the Yankees on Tuesday, hm? Fucking hell, the two of us would make better infielders than the pair they've got in there at the moment.” 

\------------------------------

John paused on his way out of the office and turned back, walking the few steps over to Charles's desk and sitting down on its edge. “You are aware that it's nearly midnight, right?”

“Just trying to get some work done,” Charles replied, not looking up from his notes. “I have a feeling this case is going to be tricky.” 

John reached out and pulled the pen from Charles's hand, ignoring his protests. “I highly doubt Erik is going to appreciate you working all night.”

“Erik's in the city,” Charles said quickly, reaching out and snagging his pen back. 

John blinked. “Still? I thought he went there a few weeks ago.”

“He did,” Charles said, tossing the pen down onto the desk and sighing heavily. “He's spending some time with his parents. They are. The twins are with him.” 

John gave Charles a confused look. “So why aren't you in a car to go spend the weekend there?”

“I don't want to talk about this,” Charles said, reaching for his cup and standing up. “I need more coffee.” 

John followed him to the break room, leaning against the doorway as Charles dumped the used grounds out and started to make a fresh pot. “What are you not telling me?” 

“Nothing,” Charles said, slamming the carafe under the faucet and filling it with water. “Just, nothing.”

“Which obviously means it's something,” John mused, pushing off the wall when a thought flashed through his mind. “Oh fuck, he found out about Hank, didn't he?”

“You know, one of these days, you're going to have to tell me how you found out about Hank,” Charles said bitterly, turning the faucet off and pouring the water into the coffeemaker. “Because really, I enjoyed my life so much more when you didn't know about that.”

“Stop trying to change the subject,” John said, walking into the room and leaning up against the counter near Charles. “He knows about Hank, doesn't he?”

Charles sighed heavily and pressed the button to start the machine. “He found out a few months ago. Jean told him.” 

“So he left you?”

Charles ran his hands through his hair, laughing slightly. “No, actually. He invited Hank and Alex over for dinner and we worked out an arrangement.” 

John shook his head. “Seriously?”

“Yup,” Charles said, turning back to the sink to rinse out his cup. “Things have been...strange ever since though.” 

“Not surprising,” John said, reaching out to snag a couple paper towels and handing them over to Charles. “So why's he in the city then?”

“He wants time to think,” Charles said softly, wiping his cup dry. “He says he's coming back, but...”

John put his hand on Charles's arm comfortingly. “If he says that, then you should believe him.” 

“I want to, I really do,” Charles said, shaking off John's touch and setting his cup down next to the coffeemaker. “But I also know that I don't deserve him coming back, so I just...I have all this work to do tonight because I've spent most of the day trying to figure out what sort of custody arrangement I can offer him. I can't take the twins away from him.” 

“Charles,” John said strongly, clasping his hand over his friend's shoulder. “When did you last talk to him?”

“Last night,” he mumbled. 

“Did he say something that makes you think he's going to want a divorce?” 

Charles shook his head. “He talked about us going to his mother's for Christmas, actually.”

“Then why are you torturing yourself with these sorts of thoughts?” John asked. “And what the fuck is making you just give up? You never, ever, just give up. Especially when it comes to Erik.” 

Charles sighed and slumped against the counter next to John. “I have to think about my children.”

“Yes, you do. And they're going to grow up with both of their fathers around, no matter what happens with you and Erik,” John pointed out.

“You don't know that.”

John reached up and slapped the back of his head. “I know you two well enough to know that. It's ridiculously important to Erik that the twins have both of their parents around.”

“I've spent most of the last few weeks walking around that big, empty house and thinking about what life would be like if you'd never introduced us,” Charles said, reaching towards the coffeemaker and pouring some of the freshly-made coffee into his cup. “And then I start thinking about what life would be like if Erik hadn't survived that night. And I just...I can't lose them. I can't.” 

John took the cup from Charles's hands and set it on the counter, reaching out to turn the coffeemaker off. “Alright, that's it. We're getting your stuff and then we're going down to the car, and I'm going to drive you back to the house while you call Erik, and then I'm driving you to the city after you pack.” 

Charles shook his head. “No. I promised him I wouldn't go there.” 

“Then I'll get on the phone and tell him that you're going there anyway,” John said, leading Charles from the break room and towards his desk. “But you need to fix this before you drive yourself insane.” 

Charles sat down at his desk and shook his head resolutely. “No. I...he wants time and that's what he's going to get. We'll talk about things when he gets back, and if I have fucked this up beyond repair, then I'm just going to have to live with that. There's nothing I can do now to change what has happened.” 

John sat down on the corner of the desk and stared at him. “You know, right now I keep thinking about what he said to me the day he came and told me he was moving out of the dorms and in with you.” 

“And what's that?” Charles said, picking up his pen and trying to figure out where he'd left off.

“He said you felt like home,” John said plainly, giving his friend a soft smile. “You felt like home and he didn't want to give that up. He had the most earnest look in his eyes when he said it, and well, I don't think he'll give it up now either. He'll be home before you know it.” 

Charles sighed and looked up at him. “Thanks, John.” 

“Call him,” John said, standing up and straightening his suit jacket. “It'll make you feel better to talk to him.” 

Charles nodded and reached for his cup, frowning when he realized it was still in the break room. “You're probably right.”

“I'm always right,” John called out, heading towards the elevator. “And please, promise me that you will go home at some point tonight? I really don't want to walk in here on Monday morning and find that you've spent the whole weekend at your desk.”

Charles laughed and stood up, walking back to the break room. “If that makes you shut up and leave, then fine.” 

\------------------------------

Charles walked into the hotel room and headed straight for the bed, collapsing down onto it and staring up at the ceiling. He could hear Hank moving around somewhere near the closet, probably pulling off his coat and hanging it up like he always did. “Why are we here?”

Hank glanced over at him, confused. “Um, the same reason we're always here?”

“I mean, why do we keep doing this?” Charles asked softly, running his hands over his face. “Why can't we give each other up?”

Hank slowly walked across the room, climbing onto the bed and straddling Charles's hips, staring down at him. “We keep doing this because we have to. Because we can't give each other up.” 

Charles's hands automatically went to Hank's hips and held him there, staring back at his old friend. “But why? Why can't we?”

“I don't know,” Hank said, bending down to brush his lips across Charles's. “I wish I did. If we knew, we might be able to stop it.” 

Charles blinked as Hank pulled back. “You'd be willing to stop it?”

Hank rolled his eyes. “I don't want to be eighty and still having to meet up with you once a week for a fuck, Charles. It's going to have to stop at some point.” 

Charles sighed again as Hank started to unbutton his shirt, shifting towards the gentle touch as he felt fingertips dance across his skin. “Well, it's nice to know that we're both thinking the same sort of thing, then.”

Hank paused. “Are you trying to break things off with me?”

“Yes. No. I don't know,” Charles groaned out, sliding his hands underneath Hank's shirt. “It's like, I know that we shouldn't be doing this. I know that I should stop doing this. Right now. Last week. Five years ago. But, fuck Hank, the thought of ending this with you hurts almost as badly as the thought that Erik's never coming back and I'll never see my children again, and I don't know how to deal with it. I just want it all to go away, and everything to be okay again, but that's as unrealistic as fuck, and I just...dammit Hank when the fuck did I fall in love with you?”

Hank bent down and kissed Charles again, sliding his hands across his chest. “A long time ago,” he whispered. “Long before you ever met Erik or I ever met Alex. They're the ones who made us realize that we aren't in love with each other, not anymore.” 

Charles pulled Hank closer, sighing as he shifted to lie against him. “Then why can't we give each other up?”

“If I ever figure that out, you'll be the first to know,” Hank said, burying his head in Charles's neck.

Charles took a deep breath. “I think we should try.”

“Try what?”

“Try to give each other up.”

Hank pulled back and looked at him, trying to ignore the way his pulse quickened and his breath caught in his throat. “We've tried before. It didn't work.”

“Well, we need to try again.” Charles curled his hand around Hank's neck and caressed the skin there lightly. “I need you for reasons that I don't understand, but I need them more.” 

Hank sighed and settled back against him. “You really don't think Erik's coming back, do you?”

“It's been a month,” Charles said softly. “His mother wouldn't even let me talk to him last night.”

“And you think giving this up will make him come back?”

“I don't know. I just know we need to try. You said it yourself, we can't keep this up forever.” 

Hank turned Charles's face towards his, kissing him again. “I don't know if I can do this. If we can do this.”

“I don't either,” Charles said quietly. “But we have to try.”

Hank pulled away from him and sat up, running his hands through his hair. “We should probably get away from anywhere with a bed, then.” 

“Let's go grab a beer,” Charles said, climbing off the bed and buttoning his shirt. “Call Alex, see if he wants to meet us.” 

Hank laughed. “He's probably at the bar with Darwin. We should just go there, surprise him.” 

Charles watched as Hank walked over to the closet and pulled his coat off the hanger, striding across the room and pressing him against the wall before he could put it on, kissing him hard. “We're doing the right thing, right?”

Hank forced himself to nod. “We're trying to.”

\------------------------------

“So you two fuck tonight or what?” Alex was drunk, and he'd lost his ability to hold his tongue about three hours ago, and if that was a flash of hurt in Hank's eyes, well then, too fucking bad. Alex knew all about hurt. “Or is Charles just that fucking quick?”

“Alex!” Hank exclaimed, turning apologetic eyes towards Charles. “Sorry, I just...I haven't seen him this drunk in awhile.”

“It's alright,” Charles said softly, reaching for his beer. “I probably deserve that.”

Alex laughed and slung his arm across Darwin's shoulders. “Why did you even come here anyway? Darwin and I were having a nice evening before you showed up.”

“I wanted to spend some time with you,” Hank said, reaching out to grab the beer away from Alex. “And I think you've had enough.” 

Alex rolled his eyes and lunged across the table, snatching his beer back. “Fuck off. If you were still in that hotel room, you wouldn't be giving a fuck about how much I'd had.” 

“Alex!”

“Oh come on, Hank,” Darwin called out, leaning into Alex's embrace and laying his head on Alex's shoulder. “It's so fucking obvious.”

Hank glared at him. “Darwin, stay the fuck out of this.”

“Sorry!” Darwin sing-songed. “No can do!”

“Darwin has been part of this from the beginning,” Alex slurred. “Who do you think took care of me when I first found out that you were fucking him?”

Charles set his beer down on the table and reached for his coat. “I think I should probably go.”

“No!” Hank called out, grabbing Charles by the elbow and pulling him back. “There's no reason for you to leave.”

Alex shook his head drunkenly. “Nope. You better stay. You're going to be around all the fucking time anyway. I need to get used to it. Fuck, you'll probably even be the one Hank fucks on our wedding night.” 

Charles turned towards Hank, confusion on his face. “Wedding night?”

“I was waiting until we got the rings to tell you,” Hank said softly, reaching out to tangle his fingers with Alex's. “I was hoping you'd say you'd be my best man.”

Darwin burst into laughter. “This is going to be the most fucked up wedding ever. Better not invite your parents, man. Somehow I don't think your mother will appreciate all the sex and tension.” 

“Amen to that,” Alex said, clinking his beer against Darwin's. “But really, Charles. Stay. Or leave. Take Hank somewhere and fuck him. You know you want to. Just don't do it in front of me. It already hurts enough.” 

Darwin nodded. “So fucking obvious. I can't believe you never noticed before, Alex. The way they look at each other, touch each other. They've been fucking with their eyes all night. Surprised Charles hasn't just laid Hank out on the table by now.”

Hank's jaw dropped as Charles sighed heavily. “We aren't going to do that anymore,” he said, looking across the table at Alex. “Hank and I talked about it this afternoon.” 

Alex rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right.”

“Let's go somewhere else,” Darwin said suddenly, turning to look at Alex. “Leave them to their sex or whatever.” 

Alex grinned back at him. “Excellent idea! We'll go drink some more, and they can go fuck. Like they were supposed to be doing.”

Hank sighed as Alex and Darwin stood up, holding onto each other and wobbling. “Alex.”

“No, no, no, no,” Alex said, laughing when Darwin grabbed onto his hips. “This was how you wanted it, Henry. Not how I wanted it. Never how I wanted it. But you! You always get what you want! So there you go! Have him!”

Darwin waved drunkenly before pulling Alex towards the door, ignoring the sounds of Hank calling after them. “Where should we go?”

“Yours,” Alex slurred, blinking as they stumbled into the cold air.

Darwin slung his arm over Alex's shoulder as they wobbled down the sidewalk. “You deserve so much better than him, you know that? He's just fucking playing you.”

“But from who? No one loves me like he does. Well, except for maybe you,” Alex mumbled, dropping down onto the bench at the bus stop and pulling Darwin close. “You're nice and warm, you know that?”

Darwin turned to look at Alex but he was much closer than he had anticipated, their lips brushing together and sending chills down Darwin's spine. He tried to pull back but one of Alex's hands curled around the back of his neck, pulling Darwin closer and deepening the kiss. Darwin melted against him, a voice in the back of his mind screaming at him to stop this but he ignored it, sighing contentedly as Alex's hands worked their way underneath his coat and ran along his sides. 

Alex broke away when he heard the bus come to a stop in front of them, glancing up to check the number before waving the driver on. He slumped back against Darwin and buried his face in his friend's throat, letting his eyes slip closed. “I can't believe he fucking brought Charles with him. Like I was just supposed to be motherfucking okay with that? Fuck him. Fuck Charles.” Darwin felt his chest tighten as Alex started to sob against him, running a comforting hand along his back. “I love you, Hank,” Alex mumbled. “Why don't you love me?”

Darwin swallowed hard, his head spinning, trying his best to keep his composure. Alex was just thinking of Hank. Of course. It didn't mean anything. “He does, baby. He does.” 

“You are the best friend ever,” Alex declared, sliding his arms around Darwin's waist. “You love me more than he does.”

Darwin found he couldn't make himself say the words of protest that were on the tip of his tongue.

\------------------------------

Erik smiled as the twins jumped up and down next to him, screaming about the elephants. He'd known that they would like them, probably more than any other animal that they'd see that day, and he swung Wanda up into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her face. “We should take your picture by them, little one. Send it to Papa.” 

Wanda nodded furiously and Erik gave her another kiss, walking them towards the boundary and setting her down on the sidewalk. She started to climb the wall but he stopped her, shaking his head gently. “No, no, little one. We can't go in there.” 

He reached for the camera only to have it snatched out of his hands, turning to see his mother's smiling face. “Go pose with your daughter. I'll take the photo.” 

Erik crouched down next to Wanda and wrapped an arm around her tiny waist, brushing her hair behind her ear. He laughed as Wanda shrieked happily, the two of them smiling at the camera before his mother announced that it was done. Wanda squirmed around in his grasp and Erik let go of her, watching as she ran straight to his father and grabbed onto his hand. Peter suddenly was at his side, and he posed for a picture with him as well. When it was done, he stood up and approached his mother, thanking her quietly as he took the camera back. “I should have gotten one of you and Papa with her.”

“We can do that on the way out,” Edie said softly, gently sliding her hand around Erik's elbow and guiding him after her husband and grandchildren. “Right now, you're going to tell me what's going on.”

Erik gave her a confused look. “What do you mean? We brought the kids to the zoo. I thought they'd like it.” 

“That's not what I meant and you know it,” Edie said, turning to smile concernedly at her son. “I know what this place means to you. What those elephants mean to you.”

Erik's eyes widened. “How do you know about that?”

“Erik, you have told the story of how he proposed to you many times.” 

Erik shook his head. “But I've never mentioned the elephants. I've never told you that he did it in front of the elephants.” 

“It wasn't that difficult to figure out,” Edie said, glancing back towards where Wanda was pointing excitedly at something from Jakob's arms. “He's mentioned wanting to bring the children here so they could see them. That's why your father and I were so surprised when you said you wanted to come here without him. It's been nearly a month and a half, Erik, and he hasn't even come for a weekend visit. Tell me what is going on.” 

Erik sighed heavily and slid his sunglasses back on. “I told you, he has a big case he's working on. He needs to concentrate on that.”

“Erik, I understand that this is clearly not easy for you to talk about,” Edie said firmly. “But I would appreciate it if you stopped lying to me.”

Erik sighed again and his mother squeezed his arm gently. “We're having some...issues, I guess is the best way to put it. We needed some time apart to think about things.”

“About what?” Edie shook her head when Erik tried to turn away from her, pulling him towards a bench. She caught Jakob's eye and pointed to the bench, waiting until he nodded in understanding before forcing Erik to sit on it. “Honey, you clearly need to talk about this. I tried to give you time to tell me on your own, but you haven't.” 

Erik slumped down on the bench and let his gaze find Peter, smiling as he raced around his father. “I don't want to talk about this with you, Mama.” 

“Do I need to call your uncle and have him start divorce proceedings?” 

Erik sat up, shaking his head quickly. “No! No! I'm not...we're not getting a divorce. We're not.” 

“You sound like you are trying to convince yourself instead of me,” Edie said, putting a hand on Erik's shoulder. “What's happened?”

Erik took in a deep breath, knowing that he had no other option than to tell his mother something. “I found out there's...someone else. And we've tried to work through it but I couldn't think while I was there, so...I asked him for time and that's what he's giving me. I'm just trying to come to terms with it, Mama.”

Edie leaned over and pulled Erik into a hug, running her hand over the back of his head in typical motherly fashion. “Oh, Erik.”

“I didn't want to tell you because I knew how you'd react,” Erik murmured. “I know what you're going to say to me and I don't want to hear it. I'm going back to Westchester. To him. I just needed some time to think.” 

“How can you go back to him, honey?” Edie asked, pulling back to look Erik in the eye. “If he's been unfaithful...”

“I'm going back because I'm in love with him,” Erik said, surprised by the strength of his voice. “Because I know we can get past this. And because the twins deserve better than being shuttled back and forth between here and Westchester, seeing one of us at a time and never having the family that they deserve.” 

Edie clicked her tongue disapprovingly. “You've already kept them away from him for almost six weeks. If they can live through that, then surely...”

“No,” Erik said firmly, glancing towards Wanda and smiling as he noticed her toddling towards him, one tiny hand clenched in his father's and the other clutching onto the string of a balloon. “It's been six weeks and that's six weeks too long. I only did this because I felt like I'd run out of other options. This isn't something new, Mama. It happened months ago.” 

“Erik,” Edie began, but Erik just shook his head. 

“You're not changing my mind on this, Mama,” he said quickly. “I booked our car back to Westchester before we left to come here. We're leaving tomorrow morning.” 

“Daddy!” Wanda let go of Jakob's hand and ran towards Erik, clutching onto his leg when she was close enough. 

Peter appeared moments later. “Parrots! Come see! Come see!” 

Erik grinned at them and bent down to pick them both up, giving his mother a brief look to tell her the subject was closed. “Parrots? Did you talk to them, little ones? See if any of them talk back?” 

\------------------------------

Darwin opened his front door to find Alex standing there. “Hey man, just in time for the game! Make yourself comfortable, I'll go grab us a couple of beers.”

“You kissed me.” 

Darwin laughed nervously. “What are you talking about?”

“That night we drank with Hank and Charles. You kissed me.” Alex stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind him, turning to give Darwin a serious look. “And don't even try to pretend that you didn't because I fucking remember it now. Like, with such clarity that I'd swear it was a scene from a movie if I didn't know it was the truth.” 

Darwin sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “You kissed me back.” 

“Yeah, I did. Why did you kiss me?”

“I didn't mean to,” Darwin stammered out, trying desperately to look at anything but Alex. “We were both completely hammered, you know. It just happened.” 

Alex took a step towards him and put his hands on Darwin's elbows, pulling his arms down. “Darwin, we've been sloshed like that together more times than I can remember. It's never happened before.” 

Darwin still couldn't bring himself to look at his friend. “Alex, look, let's just forget about it, okay? It was a drunken kiss, it meant absolutely fucking nothing, and we're going to miss the start of the game.” 

“Except for the fact that it meant a hell of a lot,” Alex said firmly. “It all fell into place after I remembered the kiss, Darwin.”

Darwin closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “I'll get over it. I will. You're not mine and I respect that.” 

Alex closed the remaining distance between them and wrapped his arms around Darwin's shoulders, pulling him close. “How long?”

“Do I really have to tell you that?” Darwin whispered. “It doesn't matter.”

Alex reached up and tangled his hands in Darwin's hair, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “God, Darwin, I must have killed you with all this shit I tell you about Hank.” 

“No, I just,” Darwin paused and swallowed hard. “I just don't understand it. Why you keep subjecting yourself to the pain when there's someone out there who would treat you like you deserve.”

“Like you do,” Alex said softly, rubbing his thumbs in gentle circles along Darwin's scalp. “You love me better than he does.” 

Darwin shook his head gently. “No, no. I just...”

“Darwin,” Alex murmured, forcing his friend to look at him. “Ask me why I kissed you back.” 

Darwin blinked, confusion in his eyes. “Because you were drunk and thinking of Hank.” 

“I suppose that's one theory,” Alex breathed out. “But I need to test the other theory before I can decide which is the truth.” 

Darwin blinked again and then Alex was kissing him, stealing the breath from his lungs and making Darwin collapse against him. Alex held him close as their tongues tangled together, stumbling backwards until he was braced up against the door, Darwin's hands sliding underneath his shirt. They broke apart when they needed air, gasping in breaths and staring at each other with wide eyes.

Darwin pulled away and ran his hands through his hair, trying to regain his composure. “I need a drink.” 

Alex watched as Darwin turned and walked to the kitchen, pushing himself off the door and following him into the tiny room. “Darwin.”

“I can't kiss you any more,” Darwin declared, sticking his head in the refrigerator and searching around for a cold beer. “I have self-control, but I don't have that much self-control. Not when it comes to wanting you.” 

Alex leaned against the doorway and sighed, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck. “I don't want to lead you on, Darwin. I really don't.”

“And I appreciate that, believe me,” Darwin said, his hands closing around a couple of bottles and pulling them out, shutting the door with his hip and turning to find the churchkey. “I'll get over this, Alex. I promise.” 

“Well, you getting over it isn't going to change the fact that I want to fuck you,” Alex said, watching as Darwin nearly dropped the bottles he was holding. “It's all I've been able to think about since I remembered the kiss. It's all I'm going to be able to think about now that we've kissed again. It's just...the clarity wasn't just about your feelings for me, Darwin. It was about mine too.” 

Darwin set the bottles on the counter and leaned up against it, swallowing hard. “You're marrying Hank. You're in love with Hank.”

“Yeah, I am,” Alex said softly. “And this is the part where I get confused as fuck.” 

Darwin groaned and reached for one of the bottles, using the churchkey to rip the top off before downing half of it in one go. “It's just lust, Alex.”

“You sound so sure of that,” Alex said, walking over to him and picking up the other bottle.

“Because you don't love me,” Darwin said quickly, polishing off the rest of the beer and turning to get another one. “You're just confused, and you're hurt, and so you are looking for comfort somewhere else, and your mind has focused in on me. That's all it is.”

“What if I want it to be more than that?” Alex asked quietly. 

Darwin took a deep breath and pulled several more bottles out of the refrigerator. “If you wanted it to be more than that, you wouldn't be with Hank. We had our chance to turn this friendship into something more, Alex. It didn't happen, and it didn't happen because you met Hank. I'm just pathetic and haven't gotten over that yet.” 

Alex reached out and brushed his hand along Darwin's face. “I don't mean to hurt you, Darwin.” 

“You don't,” Darwin lied, glancing over at the clock before turning towards the living room. “Now come on, we've missed a lot of the first quarter already. What do you want to bet that the Jets have already let the Steelers score?”

\------------------------------

Charles walked into the kitchen, setting his briefcase down on the table as he reached up to loosen his tie. He glanced towards the refrigerator, trying to decide if it was worth attempting to make himself something to eat, but his gaze never made it that far, stopping on the empty sink. The empty sink that he was a hundred percent sure had been full of dirty dishes when he left for work that morning. He felt his pulse quicken, eyes darting around the room for some other sign that what his mind was thinking could possibly be true, swallowing hard when he saw Wanda's tiny pink jacket hanging from its hook near the door. 

He practically ran out of the room, eyes sweeping over the living room before darting towards the stairs, taking them two at a time. He looked in the twins' room first and grinned when he noticed his little angels sleeping peacefully in their beds. He quietly made his way inside and dropped to his knees next to Peter's bed, reaching out to caress his tiny face. A stuffed parrot was clutched in his arms and Charles immediately realized where they had been, unsure of what to make of the fact that Erik had gone back to the place where he'd proposed. 

“Charles.” 

Charles sucked in a deep breath and leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on his son's forehead before standing up and turning towards the doorway. He frowned when he found it empty, walking out into the hall and looking around. “Where are you?”

“Don't wake her up,” Erik called out, drawing Charles's attention towards their bedroom. He quietly shut the door and made his way down the hall, taking another deep breath before walking inside. His eyes searched the room before they finally spotted Erik, curled up on the window seat and looking out over the property. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you we were coming back, but well, I thought you might like the surprise.” 

Charles closed the distance between them and sat down on the window seat, pulling Erik into his arms and burying his face in his husband's neck. There were millions of things he wanted to say but he didn't know where to start, and all the thoughts in his head flew out when he felt Erik's slender arms encircle his neck, the brush of soft, familiar lips against his temple. 

“I missed you,” Erik whispered, tangling his fingers in Charles's hair. “So much more than I thought I was going to.” 

“I missed you too.” Charles's voice broke and Erik's embraced tightened. “I didn't think you were coming back.” 

Erik nodded against him. “When we first left, I don't think I was going to. But the more time we spent apart, the more I remembered all of the reasons why I needed to. Why I wanted to.”

“Erik,” Charles whispered, lifting his head and pressing their lips together gently. “I love you. I know I don't say it often enough, and I know I've given you plenty of reasons not to believe me, but I do. I love you. I don't know what you're going to say or what's going to happen next, but I promise you, I will do anything you need me to in order to get you to stay. Anything.”

“You could start by kissing me again,” Erik murmured, sighing happily when Charles captured his lips in a hard kiss. “Now you can take me to bed.”

Charles stared at him as Erik's hand came up to cup his face. “Erik, we haven't...” he trailed off, wondering how it had gotten to the point where he couldn't even talk about sex with his husband. 

“We haven't made love since I found out about Hank,” Erik said matter-of-factly. “I think that's part of the problem.” 

Charles kissed him again. “I didn't think I deserved to touch you. That's why I...”

“I know. And I thought the fact that you wouldn't touch me meant that you didn't want me anymore,” Erik said softly. 

“Never,” Charles said firmly, kissing him again. “I will never stop wanting you.” 

“I know. I just needed a little distance to figure that out.” Erik shifted closer to him. “We have a lot to talk about, but I just...I need to feel you, Charles. I need to feel like I belong to you again.” 

Charles nodded and Erik inched off the window seat, reaching up to pull the shade closed as Charles worked on loosening his tie more. As soon as Erik felt the shade was closed enough, he turned towards Charles, pulling the tie from his collar and sliding his suit jacket down his arms. “I don't remember this suit.”

“Jean thought a little retail therapy might help me deal with you being gone,” Charles said, grinning at his husband. “I probably went a little overboard.” 

Erik sighed and tossed the jacket towards a chair, shaking his head. “Just pay the bill before I see it, alright?” 

“Already did,” Charles laughed, pulling Erik close and kissing him deeply. “I only got the suit for me. Some of it was for you. Most of it was for the twins.” 

Erik shook his head again and started to unbutton Charles's shirt. “Between you and my parents, they're going to be spoiled rotten, you know that?”

“Of course they're going to be spoiled,” Charles said, sliding his hands underneath Erik's shirt and slowly inching it upwards. “I saw the parrot.”

Erik smiled, laughing when Charles suddenly whipped the shirt off and laid him flat on the bed. “He fell in love with that at the gift shop. I had to buy it. Wanda got an elephant.” 

“And I'm the one who spoils them?” Charles teased, climbing onto the bed and straddling Erik's hips. “Did she like the elephants?”

Erik nodded, moaning softly as Charles's hands trailed down his sides. “We took a picture. It's on the camera.” 

“Can't wait to see it,” Charles murmured, bending down to kiss him. Erik worked Charles's shirt down his shoulders, tugging on it until Charles quickly pulled back and took it the rest of the way off, tossing it off to the side. Charles leaned back down and attached his mouth to Erik's neck, gliding over the skin and nipping him in just the right place, drawing a deep moan from Erik's lips. 

“Charles,” Erik groaned out, sliding his hands down Charles's naked back and slipping them underneath the waistband of his pants. “Hurry up.”

Charles laughed against his skin, trailing kisses along Erik's collarbone. “Hurry up? No, no, baby. I'm going to take my time on you.” 

“Later,” Erik moaned, arching up into Charles's touch, shuddering when their clothed erections brushed against one another. “Fast now.” 

Charles pulled back and looked down at his lover, bringing his fingers up to trail over the scar down the middle of Erik's chest. “You want me to fuck you, baby? Like it was before you had this?”

Erik nodded, moving one of his hands to tangle with Charles's fingers along his scar. “That fucking scar doesn't mean I'm made of porcelain, you know. You aren't going to break me.” 

“Don't talk about your scar like that,” Charles whispered. “That scar is the reason you're still here.” 

Erik gasped as Charles shoved their hands out of the way and licked along the thin white line in his skin, tongue teasingly weaving back and forth. “Charles, please.”

“Alright,” Charles mumbled, sliding off Erik and quickly pulling the rest of their clothes off. He watched as Erik reached towards the bedside table, shaking his head and reaching out to stop him. “No, it's not there.”

Erik gave him a confused look. “It's always there.”

“It's somewhere in the bed,” Charles said softly, sliding over Erik and running his hand along the sheets, searching for the small tube. “I, um, I've been using it.”

Erik froze and Charles immediately shook his head, bending down to kiss him hard. “No, not like that. I wouldn't do that, not in our bed. Not in our house.” 

Erik relaxed against the bed, a lazy smile crossing his face. “You've been jerking off?”

“Almost every night,” Charles admitted, ducking his head down to hide his blush. “After I'd get off the phone with you.” 

Erik pulled Charles into a heated kiss and slid his hands underneath the pillow, grinning into the kiss when his fingers closed around the bottle. He pulled it out and waved it triumphantly, laughing when Charles snatched it from his hand and moved down his body. “I'm going to make you jerk in front of me some time now, you know that, right? Because somehow, I've never seen you do that.”

“If that's what you want,” Charles said, spreading Erik's legs and slicking a couple of fingers up. He took Erik's cock into his mouth as he slid the first finger in, his other hand coming up to rub comfortingly along Erik's stomach when he felt him flinch. He felt Erik's fingers tangle together with his as he started to move, his finger sliding in and out in time with his mouth's movement on Erik's cock. Erik tried to arch up further into the wet warmth of Charles's mouth but Charles pressed down on his hip, holding him in place. 

“Charles, come on,” Erik breathed out, running his fingers over the back of Charles's head. “Fuck me already.” 

Charles pulled off Erik's cock and looked up at him, laughing. “You really don't want any foreplay at all, do you?”

“I want you,” Erik panted, letting out a strangled cry when Charles's finger crooked and hit just the right spot inside him. “Loosen me up and then get inside me, dammit.” 

Charles responded by adding another finger, scissoring them and making sure to keep brushing across Erik's prostate. “This isn't very romantic.”

“I don't want romance tonight,” Erik called out, pushing back against Charles's fingers as he added a third. “God, Charles, it's been so long. I just need this. Please.” 

“I'm not going to hurt you,” Charles said, spreading Erik's legs a little wider and lifting up his ass, opening him up as best he could. “Hard and fast is fine, but painful is not.” 

Erik growled and wrapped his hand around his cock, hand moving quickly. “It won't hurt. Shit, you act like I've never been fucked before. Stop fucking treating me like some piece of china and take me like a fucking man already.” 

Charles felt his cock throb at Erik's words and pulled his fingers out, slicking up his cock before pressing into him. “Oh fuck.”

“Ah,” Erik moaned out, wrapping his legs around Charles's waist and pulling him closer. “Fuck me.” 

Charles nodded shakily and started to thrust, short and steady thrusts that had Erik writhing against him. “I...fuck...I forgot how good this was.”

“More,” Erik called out, sighing when Charles's hand joined his on his cock. “Oh God, more. Feels so fucking good, baby. Missed this so much.” 

Charles increased the speed of his thrusts, driving in harder and further than before. He bent down and kissed Erik hard, feeling Erik's hands up come to tangle in his hair as he pounded into him. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer but was determined to make Erik come first, shifting slightly to change the angle before diving back down onto him. Erik moaned out Charles's name as his whole body clenched, his orgasm hitting him with force. Charles felt the hot streaks against his chest and glanced down, seeing an utterly debauched Erik grinning back at him. A few more thrusts and then he was coming, collapsing onto Erik. 

Erik stared up at the ceiling as he tried to catch his breath, reveling in the feel of the familiar weight against him. Charles lifted his head a few moments later, turning towards Erik and bringing their lips together in a soft kiss. Erik's fingers drifted along the back of Charles's shoulders, sighing contentedly as Charles shuddered against him. “I love you, Charles.” 

Charles settled his head on Erik's shoulder and smiled. “I don't deserve you.”

“Maybe not,” Erik said, letting his eyes slip closed. “But you've got me. And I'm not going anywhere.” 

\------------------------------

Alex sighed and ducked his head underneath the shower spray, letting the warm water pound on the back of his neck. He'd never been one for lengthy showers before, but lately, he'd found himself spending more and more time in there, trying to gather together his thoughts. He was confused, plain and simple, had been so for months now, but the more he tried to think rationally about the situation he found himself in, the more confused he got. 

“Are you becoming attached to that shower? You're spending more time with it than you are with me.” 

Alex pulled back and looked to the side, smiling when he saw Hank had stuck his head around the curtain's edge. “You could always join me in here, you know.” 

“I suppose I could,” Hank said, yelping as Alex reached out and pulled him under the spray. “Alex!”

“What?” Alex asked innocently.

Hank blinked the water out of his eyes and shoved Alex in the chest. “I was dressed for work, you jerk. Now I'm going to have to change.”

Alex pulled him closer and ran his hands over the wet shirt, loving the way it clung to Hank's skin. “Call in sick.” 

“What?” Hank laughed as Alex started to nuzzle his neck. “Honey, I can't just call in sick.”

“Why not?” Alex murmured. “I'll call in too. We can spend the whole day together, just the two of us.” 

Hank groaned as Alex nipped at his earlobe. “And why should we do that? We've got the weekend for that.” 

“God dammit, Hank, I'm trying,” Alex cut himself off, staring down at his lover and wiping stray droplets off his face. “Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who really wants to save this relationship.” 

“You're not,” Hank said softly, shaking his head. “You're so not.” 

Alex sighed. “Then what is so fucking wrong about wanting to take a day off so we can spend some time together, hm?”

“Nothing,” Hank said, shaking his head. “It's just, this is really not a good day for it. We've got a massive presentation for the new advertising campaign next week, and Emma will absolutely kill me if I miss a day of preparation. And Moira will totally know I'm lying too. She's freaky like that.” 

Alex dropped his hands and turned his back to Hank, reaching for the shampoo. “Fine. Go.” 

Hank stared at Alex's back for a moment, his eyes eventually drifting up to watch as Alex worked the shampoo into his hair. “If it was any other day, honey, I totally would. I'd love to blow off work for you.”

“Hank, I said go,” Alex said strongly, scrubbing harder than he needed to at his hair, trying to work some frustration out.

Hank inched closer to him and pressed a kiss along his spine, sliding his arms around Alex's waist. “Could we do lunch today instead? I can probably get away with a long one.” 

“Lunch,” Alex said absently, shaking his head. “Like I'm some sort of business meeting you have to go to.” 

“I didn't say that!” Hank exclaimed, forcing Alex to turn around. “I would like nothing more than to stay at home and roll around our sheets with you, but I can't, so I'm trying to find some other way for us to spend time together today.” 

Alex moved Hank out of the way and ducked his head underneath the spray, rinsing the shampoo from his hair. “I want to spend time with you, Hank. Only you. Not you and a restaurant full of people, and a waiter that's going to interrupt us every five fucking minutes.” 

“I know! And I'm trying to make that happen, but today's just not a good day!”

Alex sighed and shook his head. “When did I become something that had to be scheduled into your day, Henry? A schedule that probably has more room for Charles than it does for me.” 

“I haven't seen Charles in three weeks and you know that,” Hank said, ignoring the hurt that slashed through his chest. “And you're not something that has to fit into my schedule, Alex. I'd throw the entire schedule out the window and say fuck it to everything but you if I could, but I have to earn a paycheck so I have money to survive and I'm so fucking close to a promotion that I really can't just fuck it all up now! I'm sorry that I don't have a job with the flexibility that yours does, but I can't do anything about that!” 

Alex reached out and shut the shower off, sighing loudly in the sudden quiet. “I know. I'm just...my mind's all over the fucking place right now, Hank. I don't know what to do or what to say, I don't know how to fix this, and I'm not even sure you realize how much it is killing me to think that I'm going to lose you.” 

“You're not going to lose me,” Hank said softly, reaching out to caress Alex's back lightly. “I know things are insane right now and I know that it's all my fault, and I wish I could change things, honey, I do. But I can't change who I am, Alex. I know it hurt you when I told you about him, but for the first time in my life, I've been completely honest with someone about who I am and what I need. You're the first person I've trusted enough to do that with. And I can't apologize for that. I won't apologize for that.” 

Alex pushed the curtain back and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel off the rack and glancing over at the clock. “You should get changed. You're going to be late for work.” 

“Alex,” Hank murmured, drawing his lover's gaze back to him. “Aren't you going to say anything about what I just told you?”

Alex ran the towel over his head and sighed. “What do you want me to say? How about that I'm not sure I can love who you really are? That I dream at night of the man I thought you were and wish that I had him back? I thought I had the rest of my life planned out, Hank, and I thought that you were going to be a major part of it. But now? Now I'm not so sure. I never planned on there being someone else that you cared for, someone else that you loved. And don't even try to tell me that you don't love him, because you do. I can see it in your eyes every time the two of you are together in front of me. You love him. And I cannot work out how you can love him and love me at the same time.” 

“If I had told you about Charles sooner, you would have left,” Hank said softly, stepping out of the shower and pulling his wet shirt off. “I didn't want you to leave.” 

Alex reached out and grabbed another towel, tossing it at Hank. “Well, what good is it if I stay and things are like this?” 

“It's not always going to be like this,” Hank protested, running the towel along his arms. “Things will get better, honey.” 

“I want to believe that, babe, I really do,” Alex said, walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. “But I'm not sure that I can.” 

Hank followed him into the bedroom, unbuckling his belt and wriggling out of his wet pants. “What can I do to convince you that it's the truth?”

“I don't know,” Alex muttered, walking over to the closet and searching through the clothes. “Maybe start by fitting me in for more than just lunch.” 

Hank glanced at the clock before striding over towards the bedside table, picking up the phone and quickly dialing his office number. “Sean? It's Hank. Listen, I just woke up and I feel horrible, so I don't think I should get out of bed.”

Alex turned to look at him, his hands gripping the hanger in them harder than necessary. Hank just smiled back at him. “Yeah, I mean, I totally wouldn't want to get Emma or Moira sick right before the presentation, and I think it would be much better if I just tried to get some rest so I can get over this before it. So you'll tell them for me? Great, thanks Sean. I'll see you tomorrow, I hope.” 

Alex put the shirt he was holding back in the closet as Hank hung up the phone, reaching out to catch it when Hank tossed it towards him. “I did my part. Now do yours.” 

“What happened to all the talk about not today?” Alex asked shakily, unable to believe that the phone call he'd witnessed had actually taken place.

Hank walked over to him and wrapped his arms around Alex's waist, pulling him into a soft kiss. “Sometimes I need reminders of what order my priorities should be in. You gave me a big one.” 

Alex dropped the phone to the floor and hauled Hank closer, kissing him hard. “We should get you back into bed. Since you're sick and need your rest and all.”

Hank giggled as Alex picked him up, carrying him over to the bed. “Put me down and get the phone! No sex until you call in sick too!” 

\------------------------------

“They miss each other.” 

Alex poked at his salad and nodded. “You've noticed that too, hm?”

“Charles gets restless on Saturdays right around the time he should be leaving to meet him,” Erik said, leaning back in his chair. “It's, well, it's hard to see him like that when I know that it could be so easily corrected.” 

Alex sighed. “They think they're doing the right thing. They are doing the right thing.”

“Logically, yes,” Erik agreed. “But I'm not convinced that it's the right thing for them. You've seen them together, Alex. You've seen what I've seen. They need each other in ways that I cannot even begin to explain.” 

Alex set his fork down and ran his hands through his hair, sighing again. “I'm supposed to be happy that he's stopped seeing Charles. And I'm just...not. That's only making me even more motherfucking confused than I've been for months now.” 

“Tell me about it. I was almost disappointed when Charles told me they'd broken things off,” Erik said, reaching for his glass. “And when I'd never even gotten a chance to watch too.”

Alex coughed loudly, reaching for his glass and taking a big sip before staring incredulously across the table. “Erik!”

“What?” Erik smiled at him. “Don't tell me you've never thought about what they look like together.” 

“I...” Alex stopped himself from spitting out the fake protest and ducked his head down. “I thought it was weird that I wanted to watch.” 

“Of course it is,” Erik said, breaking a piece off of his slice of bread and popping it into his mouth, chewing quickly. “This entire situation is weird as fuck. But it's almost becoming, I don't know, normal? Like I can see how it fits into their lives and I've really started to figure out how it can fit into mine too. So long as I can watch every once and awhile. Or well, we can watch. If I watch, you totally should too.” 

“They aren't even fucking anymore,” Alex said, laughing, “and here we are wanting to be voyeurs and watch.” 

Erik nodded. “We totally deserve it. It's only fair. They're the ones who get to mess around while we're at home being monogamous and shit.”

“So you're not going to find someone else then?” Alex asked carefully, keeping his gaze away from Erik's eyes.

“I could if I wanted to, I suppose, but I don't really want to,” Erik said, giving Alex a curious look. “Why?”

“No reason.”

Erik stared at him for a moment. “Oh fuck, you want to mess around on him.”

Alex swallowed hard and scratched the back of his neck. “I don't know. I've just been thinking a lot lately about how if he gets to have someone on the side, then maybe I should be allowed to have someone too.”

“Have you talked to him about it?” 

“No,” Alex said, shaking his head. “I just...I want to fuck Darwin. Like, really bad. And if Hank found out about that, he'd freak.”

“Darwin,” Erik murmured, his eyes widening in recognition. “Oh, your friend I met that works in that museum we took the twins to? He's hot, Alex.” 

Alex nodded. “That's him. And yeah, he is.”

“So why would Hank freak out about that?”

“It's just, Hank has teased me for years about Darwin being in love with me,” Alex said, picking up his fork and poking at his salad again. “And well, he is. If Hank ever found out that was the case, I can only imagine what would happen.” 

“So your friend is in love with you,” Erik mused. “But you're in love with Hank. And yet you want to fuck him. Oh, that's a dangerous situation if I've ever heard one.”

“I know,” Alex mumbled. “I'm pretty sure that's why Darwin turned me down.”

Erik nearly dropped his glass. “You've already tried it with him?!”

“I told you, I'm confused as fuck,” Alex said defensively. “Things with Hank weren't going very well that week, and Darwin had kissed me a few nights before, and I just...it seemed like a really good idea at the time. But Darwin said no. And now I can't get the thought out of my head, and I already know I'm going to try it again when I see him next.” 

“Alex, I really think you should talk to Hank about this,” Erik said cautiously. “Especially if things are getting better between you two. Before you do something stupid.” 

“Like sleep with my best friend,” Alex sighed. “Fuck.”

“Hey,” Erik said, drawing Alex's attention to him. “I understand the confusion, probably better than anyone. All I can tell you is that you need to figure out what's best for you. If that means you start sleeping with Darwin, or with someone else, then that's what that means. But you need to do what's best for you, Alex.” 

Alex gave him a strained smile. “You're right. I know you are. It's just...never mind. That's enough about me. Let's talk about what it was we actually came here to talk about. Do we try to get them back together or not?”

"I think we have to," Erik said softly, a wicked grin crossing his face. "We should demand that we be allowed to watch."

Alex laughed. "Oh, I'm sure they'll love that. Boys, we need you to get back together just so Erik and I can watch the two of you fuck." 

"It might work," Erik said, laughing with him. "You never know." 

\------------------------------

“I want to fuck Darwin.”

Hank paused with his knife hovering over the potato he was chopping, his back to Alex. “Excuse me?”

“You heard what I said.” Alex walked up behind him and took the knife out of his hand, setting it down on the counter. “I didn't know how else to tell you.”

“And what am I supposed to say to that?” Hank sighed as Alex wrapped his arms around him, leaning back into the embrace. “Why?”

“I don't know, exactly,” Alex said, leaning his chin on the top of Hank's head. “I just...do. And I've sort of been thinking that one of the things we could do to make this situation work is that if you get to have Charles, then I get to have someone too.”

Hank covered Alex's hands with his own. “I don't have Charles anymore.”

“Yeah, that's another thing. I think you should start fucking him again.” 

Hank twisted around to look at Alex, blinking rapidly. “Have I somehow ended up in the fucking twilight zone or something?”

“I'm making a complete mess of this,” Alex said, sighing heavily. “Look, I've done a lot of thinking over the last few months, okay? And yeah, most of it at first was all about how much I wanted you all to myself and how I wish I could have killed Charles for touching you and what the fuck was I doing staying with you. But the more I've thought about things and the more I've talked to Erik about things and the more I've spent just fucking watching you and seeing how much it's absolutely killing you to be away from him, the more I've come to understand how all of this fits together in one big fucked up puzzle and that I can be okay being a piece in it. But there's still a piece missing, and I've tried to figure out what that piece is for weeks now, and I've finally realized that it's something that's just my own, that doesn't involve you the way that Charles doesn't involve me. And it might be Darwin or it might be someone else. But I need that piece to complete the puzzle and be happy.”

Hank gave him a blank stare. “You want to be with someone else.” 

“I want to fuck someone else,” Alex corrected. “Or a lot of someone elses. I don't know if it's going to end up being just one person every time the way it is with you and Charles, or if it's just needing to know that if I walk into a bar and flirt with someone and want to go home with them, I can.” 

“Alex,” Hank started, running his hands over his face. “I don't know what to say.” 

Alex pulled Hank closer and brought their lips together gently. “I love you. And I want to marry you and grow old with you and someday have children with you and have your face be the last thing I ever see. But the more that I think about this relationship we have and how to make sure that everything I want happens, the more I come to the conclusion that we need this relationship to be a polyamorous one. You need Charles and you can't explain it. Well, I need this and I can't explain it either. Realizing this has made so many things make so much more sense to me, Hank. You get something from Charles that I cannot give you, and I need something that you cannot give me.” 

“Stop,” Hank said, shaking his head. “Just stop. You're making my head spin. I just need a minute to think about this.” 

Alex rubbed his hands soothingly along Hank's back. “I'm sorry. I just don't know how to explain it to you and I'm doing the best I can.” 

“Do you,” Hank paused, running his hands through his hair. “That guy, the one from a few months after we got together. The one I forgave you for because I was already fucking in love with you and I didn't want to give this up and it would have been ridiculously hypocritical of me to break things off with you over one night when I was fucking around with Charles even if you didn't know about that then. Janos or something. Was he...I mean, has he been...have there been...or have you just...”

“He's the only one,” Alex reassured, bringing his hands up to cup Hank's face. “There have been other times that I've thought about it, but I've never done it, not since that night.” 

“And so what you're asking for is basically permission to do it the next time you think about it,” Hank said slowly. “Or whenever you think about it.”

Alex nodded. “And for you to get back together with Charles.” 

“I'm very confused,” Hank admitted, resting his head on Alex's chest. “I thought you wanted it to just be the two of us, honey.”

“So did I,” Alex said softly. “But one of the things that you telling me about Charles has done is made me take a good, long look at what it is I really need and want, and it's basically two things. You and this.” 

Hank stayed silent for a few minutes before bringing his head up and looking at Alex. “Does it have to be Darwin?”

“I, um...” Alex took a deep breath. “I tried to fuck him the other night.” 

Hank swallowed hard. “I see.”

“It was before we spent all day in bed together,” Alex said quickly. “Before we talked out a lot of my confusion over you and Charles.”

“But still, you were going to...” Hank stopped himself. “He's in love with you.”

Alex sighed. “I know.” 

Hank leaned back against the counter. “Are you in love with him?”

“He's my best friend, of course I love him,” Alex said, staring down at the floor.

“That's not what I asked you.” 

“I get things from him that I cannot get from you,” Alex mumbled. “He loves me in ways that you can't.”

Hank sighed. “You're still not answering my question.”

“I don't know!” Alex exclaimed. “I don't know if I am or not, alright?! I'm motherfucking confused as fuck when it comes to him at the moment.”

Hank slid down the cupboards to the floor, burying his head in his hands. “I think I can be okay with random people you pick up in bars, so long as you tell me that you've done it, but I'm not sure I can be okay with Darwin.” 

“What difference does it make?” Alex asked, crouching down in front of him. “It's just going to be a fuck, Hank. That's it.” 

Hank shook his head. “I've always been terrified that I'm going to lose you to him, you know that?”

“To Darwin?” Alex shifted until he was sitting next to Hank, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “Nah.”

“How can you be so sure of that?” Hank asked, despair evident in his voice. “He's motherfucking in love with you, you can't tell me if you're in love with him or not.”

Alex slumped against Hank's side, resting his head on his fiancé's shoulder. “We were going to try once, me and Darwin. But something happened to make us stop before we even started it.”

“What's that?” Hank asked quietly.

Alex smiled. “I met you.” 

Hank glanced over at him. “Really?”

“You can call Darwin and ask if you want,” Alex said, tangling their fingers together. “He'll tell you the same thing.”

Hank shook his head quickly. “He kind of hates me. I don't know if you've noticed that or not.” 

“He doesn't hate you,” Alex said, bringing Hank's hand up to his lips and kissing it. “He just doesn't understand what our relationship has turned into. But he will, once I explain it all to him.” 

Hank laughed. “Are you going to do that before or after you fuck him?”

“I don't even know if I'm going to fuck him,” Alex said softly. “He has to agree to it, you know.”

Hank rolled his eyes. “He'll agree to it.”

“Well he sure as fuck didn't the other night,” Alex said, pressing a kiss to Hank's shoulder. “Are you really okay with this?”

“I don't know,” Hank murmured, sliding closer to Alex. “I need to think about it. But I'm not going to tell you no, not if this is what you need. I said I'd do anything to make this work, and if this is what I have to do, then this is what I have to do. I just need time to adjust to the idea, I guess.”

“Like I had with Charles,” Alex whispered.

“Exactly,” Hank said, pulling Alex into a kiss. “I think dinner's probably ruined by now.”

Alex glanced over at the stove, laughing. “I forgot about dinner.” 

“Take me to Maria Elena's?” Hank asked, drawing Alex's attention back to him. 

Alex frowned slightly. “We'll have to get all dressed up to go there.”

“I know,” Hank said, smiling softly. “But I thought you liked taking suits off of me?”

Alex laughed again. “Well, when you put it like that. Let's go.” 

\------------------------------

Erik looked up as Charles burst into the hospital room, putting his hand up in an attempt to calm his husband down. “I'm fine.”

“You collapsed!” Charles exclaimed, rushing over to Erik's bedside and bending down to kiss him hard. “Don't you dare fucking tell me that you're fine!”

Erik sighed softly as Charles took his hand in his, trying to give him a smile. “The doctor said it was nothing.”

“Erik,” Charles said sternly. “You don't collapse for no reason.” 

Erik sighed again. “I'm trying not to worry you.”

“It's way, way too late for that,” Charles said, sitting down in the bedside chair and squeezing Erik's hand. “I'm worried. I've been worried for months. You've not been yourself.”

“Stop worrying,” Erik said softly, staring at where their hands were tangled together. “He thinks maybe the medicine isn't working the way that it should have been. He didn't like some of the numbers on the blood test.” 

Charles pulled the chair closer to the bed and reached out, brushing his free hand along Erik's face. “What does that mean?”

“I don't know,” Erik admitted, leaning into Charles's touch. “He isn't happy about the amount of stress I went through over the last few months, but I told him that everything is almost all settled and back to normal now.” 

“It is?” Charles asked, curling his hand around Erik's neck. “I thought we still had some stuff to work through.”

Erik nodded. “Just one more thing. And if you do that, then I think everything will be exactly the way it's supposed to be.” 

“Anything, baby,” Charles said, playing with the back of Erik's hair. “I'll do anything.” 

Erik started to speak but cut himself off when he saw the doctor walk into the room. He nodded towards the doorway and Charles turned to look, letting go of Erik to stand and hold out his hand to the cardiologist. “Dr. Emery.”

“Charles,” the doctor said, shaking his hand briefly. “Well, now that you're here, I think we can start to talk about some things.” 

Charles nodded and sat back down as Dr. Emery reached for Erik's chart, flipping through a couple of pages. “Have you figured out what caused him to collapse?”

“No,” Dr. Emery said, pulling a page out of the chart and looking at it more closely. “I've ordered an electrocardiogram to make sure that I'm not missing something, but from looking at the chest x-ray and the blood test, I don't really see anything other than the fact that your blood sugar was fairly low. It was a brief loss of consciousness, from what your friend was telling me, and the low blood sugar level can definitely cause a syncope like that. And since you told me that you hadn't eaten anything yet today, that would explain the low blood sugar. The good news is that I can't see anything that would lead me to believe you've suffered another myocardial infarction.”

Charles gave Erik a confused look and Erik laughed. “That's the technical term for a heart attack, babe.” 

“I know that,” Charles said, shaking his head. “I learned all this stuff the first time around.” 

Erik smiled at him. “Then what was the confused look for?”

“You were with someone when it happened?” 

Erik nodded. “We'll talk about that in a minute, okay?” 

Dr. Emery cleared his throat and put the chart back in its place. “Someone will be in soon to take you for the electrocardiogram, and once I get the results of that, I'll come talk to you again and we'll discuss changes to the medication. But I'm keeping you here tonight for observation, just to be sure, regardless of what the results are.” 

Erik nodded as Dr. Emery left the room, turning his attention towards Charles. “So, the friend. This actually has to do with what we were talking about before he came in here.”

“The thing you need me to do to make everything be okay again,” Charles said slowly. 

Erik smiled at him, tangling their fingers together. “I was having lunch with Hank.” 

Charles stared at him in disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“I love you,” Erik said softly. “And I know you love me, I'm not doubting that. We have our life and our family and it has taken me awhile to understand, but now I know that nothing, not even him, is going to come between us. Yet Charles, you also love him, and you need him in your life. I know that you are trying to do the right thing by staying away from him, but baby, I don't think it is the right thing. It might be what the stereotypical right thing is, but in our specific situation, I don't think it is. You need him too much.” 

Charles sucked in a deep breath and leaned back in the chair, blinking at Erik. “I don't understand.”

“Yes you do,” Erik said, running his thumb along the inside of Charles's wrist. “It's killing you to be away from him. Don't even try to deny it, I can tell. I hate seeing you like that, and if all I have to do is give you up to him on Saturday afternoons in order to keep you happy, well then...that's what I was prepared to do when I came back from the city, baby. I came back knowing that I would have to share you.”

Charles ran his hand through his hair, swallowing hard. “You want me to get back together with Hank.” 

“Yes,” Erik said softly, squeezing Charles's fingers. “He's bringing Alex for dinner on Friday. We'll work out another arrangement then.” 

“Erik, I...” Charles trailed off and stood up, sitting down on the edge of the bed and pulling Erik close to him. “God, I don't deserve you.” 

Erik wrapped his arms around Charles's neck, running his hands through the back of his hair. “But you've got me.” 

Charles nodded against him and pulled back, running his hand along Erik's face. “You should get some rest.” 

“I am a bit sleepy,” Erik said, pulling Charles into a quick kiss. “Talk to me until I fall asleep?”

“Of course.” Charles moved back to the chair and tangled their fingers together again. “I told John that if we win this case we're working on now, we're having a party at our place. He thinks it's a great idea, but that's to be expected. He is the office party boy after all. He picked up some guy at a bar last night too, because there was definitely someone else in his apartment when I got there this morning to give him a ride to work. He wouldn't tell me anything about it, but he had a total shit-eating grin on his face the entire way to work. It was annoying. No one should be that happy that early in the morning.”

\------------------------------

Darwin gasped as his back hit the bed, the groan that left his lips smothered by the pair that crashed into his. Hands tangled into hair and he arched up, desperately seeking friction against his already rigid cock. He smiled as the lips broke away and trailed down his neck, hands gliding along the sweatslick skin of his thighs, and he let his eyes slip closed, letting himself drown in sensations that he hadn't felt in so long. “You're fucking gorgeous,” was whispered against his skin as the wet mouth traveled further south, fingers skimming across his tight abdomen before wrapping around his hard shaft. He groaned loudly and thrust up into the loose grip, forcing himself to take in a deep yet shaky breath as a thumb rubbed over his slit. 

“Fuck me,” he mumbled, hands sliding down his lover's back. “Please, just fuck me.”

He felt the nod against his thigh more than seeing it, and then there was movement too sudden for his drunken brain to process before he was being kissed breathless once again. He answered back as he heard the telltale sounds of a drawer opening and then closing, the coolness of a plastic bottle and foil wrapper landing on his chest moments later. His lover pulled back onto his knees and Darwin flipped over onto his stomach, shifting onto his knees and raising his hips into the air. He heard another telltale sound, this time of a cap being opened, and then there was a slick finger prodding his entrance.

He forced himself to relax and the finger slipped inside, quickly moving in as deep as it could go before withdrawing. Darwin pushed back against it and soon found a second finger joining the first, stretching his hole and sending a delicious burn up his spine. He brought one of his own hands to his cock as he heard the tearing of the foil wrapper, the soft groan that left his lover's lips as he rolled the condom on. There was weight against his back, the warmth of a chest pressed against him as knees roughly spread his legs further apart, and then he let out a loud moan as he felt the cock start to slide into him. His head dropped onto the pillow and he increased the speed of his hand on his cock, arching his back to get the cock even further into his body.

“So fucking good,” was whispered as his lover took the hint and pulled back, nearly completely leaving Darwin's body before slamming back in. Darwin groaned and pushed back against him, the rhythm quickly becoming hard and fast. Hands slid along his back, fingers pulling roughly at his hair, and Darwin cried out, enjoying the feeling of being thoroughly fucked. It was exactly what he had been craving, strong and powerful and about nothing more than getting off, no tender caresses or declarations of love. But that didn't stop thoughts from manifesting in his head, fantasies that the man he was with was someone else, and when his lover changed the angle, driving into his prostate, he came with a specific name on his lips.

“Alex!”

His lover didn't falter, thrusting deep a few more times before draping himself along Darwin's back, hips rotating as he came long and hard, a breathy moan in Darwin's ear. They collapsed to the bed together, neither man in the mood to move, and Darwin had just started to think that the man he was with hadn't noticed when he felt a kiss along his neck.

“John,” the man breathed out. “My name is John.”

Darwin cringed, grateful that John couldn't see his face. “Sorry. I...”

“Don't worry about it,” John said, pulling back and flopping onto his back next to him, glancing over at Darwin as he carefully pulled off the condom. “I wasn't thinking about you either...um...”

“Darwin.” 

“Right. I knew that. You told me that the other night.” 

Darwin turned his head towards him, watching with tired eyes as John tossed the condom into the trash. “Well, maybe we can do it again,” he said slowly. “Try thinking about each other this time.”

John nodded, turning to look at Darwin with a huge grin. “Fuck yes.”

\------------------------------

“So, party at yours!”

Charles laughed as they sat down at the table, taking the menu from the waiter with a smile. “It figures that the party is the only thing you're thinking about. Not the fact that we just won this huge case, and not the massive bonuses that are going to go along with that, but a fucking party at my house.”

John rolled his eyes as he took the menu offered to him, giving the waiter a flirtatious smile. “Are you kidding me? I always get laid at your parties. Of course that's what I'm most looking forward to.”

“Guest room in the basement,” Charles said quickly. “I swear to God, if I find you trying to get the door to my children's room open again...”

John held his hands up, laughing. “I was drunk off my ass, for one. Secondly, I was alone when you found me, and just trying to find a place to sleep.”

Charles rolled his eyes. “I don't care. Upstairs is off limits for you.”

“This all goes back to the time you found me and Bobby fucking in your apartment, doesn't it?”

Charles closed his menu and set it down on the table, shaking his head. “In my bed. Erik's bed. Our bed.”

“It was the only bed in the apartment!” John laughed. “Would you rather have walked in on us fucking on your sofa? You were about half an hour too late for that.”

“My sofa? The one that's now in my basement?” Charles sighed heavily as John nodded. “I guess I know what part of the bonus is going to buy now. I'm not letting my little ones crawl all over something your naked ass has been on.”

John laughed some more. “Like you and Erik never fucked your way through my place.”

“No, as a matter of fact, we didn't,” Charles said, turning towards the waiter as he approached the table, picking up the menu and rattling off his order. John did the same a few moments later, and then as the waiter walked away, Charles turned back to him. “Erik and I have never fucked on any piece of furniture that you own. Ever. We're not exhibitionists like you.”

“Oh!” John exclaimed. “That's right! It wasn't you and Erik! It was you and Hank!”

Charles frowned. “I've never brought Hank to your apartment.”

“No, no,” John said. “My room at the dorms, when I was still a resident advisor. It was like a month or so after I introduced you to Erik. When we had that floor party but Erik had that huge philosophy test so he spent the whole night in the library? Bobby and I were trying not to scare some of the freshers with how fucking all over each other we were and you two didn't even look up when we came into the room. That's how I found out about you and Hank.”

Charles stared at him for a moment, breaking it to nod thanks at the waiter when he set their drinks down. “I don't even remember that.”

“You were pretty fucked up that night,” John remembered. “We all were, truthfully. Erik was mad at us because he was ready to have fun after his test and we were all hungover for days. I think he ended up going to see a movie with Bobby because he's the one that recovered first.”

Charles reached for his glass, glancing towards the window. “You're talking about him a lot today. Should I credit this to whoever was in your apartment the other morning?”

“That guy? No, no, that was just one night,” John said, shaking his head. “Fucking amazing, but just a fuck.”

Charles turned his gaze back towards his friend. “Then who put that fucking grin on your face this morning then?”

“A different guy,” John said, sighing when he saw the disapproving look on Charles's face. “You know I fuck around, Charles. Don't get all high and fucking mighty on me.”

Charles shook his head. “I'm not. It's just...it's been so long since I've seen you like that. I was hoping that meant you'd met someone.”

“I gave up on relationships a long time ago, you know that,” John said, searching the restaurant for their waiter before flagging him down. “I need a fucking drink if we're going to talk about this.”

“We have to go back to the office,” Charles warned, but John just shook his head.

“If you think I don't know that, you're an idiot.” John smiled at the waiter and ordered a couple of beers, ignoring Charles's protests. “I think we're allowed a celebratory drink with lunch after winning this particular case, don't you? Shaw won't flip out over one beer.”

Charles sighed but acquiesced, nodding at the waiter when he returned and set two bottles in front of them. “You better fucking talk then. This is the most I've heard you refer to him since you found out Daniela was born.”

“Look, you got lucky, alright?” John said suddenly, reaching for his beer and taking a large sip. “You fell in love at university and got a guy that not only married you and did the whole happy family thing with you, you got one that puts up with all your shit too, especially about Hank, when any other sane person on the planet would have dumped your ass out onto the street. I fell in love at university and got a guy who decided he was straight as soon as he got his degree and that the five years we'd spent together were nothing more than a fucking mistake, who still thinks that we can be friends just because he's capable of completely forgetting our time together, and who flaunts his happy family in front of me like it doesn't drive a fucking axe through my heart. If I want to fuck every single motherfucking guy I meet at a bar instead of finding someone else to hurt me like that, then that's what I'm going to fucking do. Not all of us have your fucking luck.”

Charles played with the edge of his napkin, silently contemplating what to say as the waiter brought out their appetizers. He stuck his spoon into his bowl of soup before sighing and setting it down. “He didn't just decide that he was straight. You know he struggled with that the entire time you two were together.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I've never understood how one can take a dick up the ass for five motherfucking years and then decide that they didn't enjoy it.” John sighed and poked at his plate. “It's easier to pretend it happened that way, alright? Makes me feel like less of a fucking moron for missing all the signs.”

“You didn't miss all the signs,” Charles said softly. “You just didn't want to acknowledge them for what they were.”

John rolled his eyes. “Oh, and I suppose you knew it was about to happen, didn't you?”

“I was going to take Erik to Philadelphia that weekend, but then you two had that gigantic fight about Bobby thinking about that job offer in Boston, and well, it wouldn't have taken a genius to figure it out. Erik and I decided to postpone the trip to make sure we were around for you when it happened. You knocked on the door a few hours later.”

John stared at him for a moment. “Fuck, I really did miss all the signs.”

Charles shook his head and ate a spoonful of his soup. “No, you just chose to ignore them. You have a reputation for finding every last detail in a case, so I highly doubt that you just didn't notice.”

“Don't turn this into a fucking lecture where you defend him to me, because I swear to God I'll fucking walk out of here if you do.”

“Fine,” Charles said, putting his napkin down in his lap. “Erik wants you to find someone so we can have dinner dates with someone other than Jean and her latest boyfriend. He's tempted to try and set you up with someone.”

“Well, he's not fucking doing that,” John said, stabbing a spear of asparagus with his fork. “I got the guy's phone number.”

Charles reached for his beer. “What guy?”

“The one from last night. I got his number,” John said, glancing over at Charles. “Don't get your husband's hopes up, because I highly doubt it's going to turn into something. He seems pretty hung up on someone else, and I don't want something serious anyway. But fuck, the sex was so fucking good that I want to have more of it. I would have done the same with the other one too but he made it clear that it was just one night. Said he was engaged but he didn't have a ring on, so I don't know if he just gets off on thinking he's cheating on someone or what. This guy is no strings attached, no expectations fun. That's all I fucking want.”

“I won't even mention it to Erik,” Charles murmured. “Unless you bring this guy to the party. Then you can explain it to him yourself.”

John laughed. “You've been tied down for too long, my friend, if you think I'm going to bring a guy I meet up with just for a fuck to meet my friends.”

“You don't know what you're missing out on,” Charles said, cringing as soon as he said it. “Shit. I didn't mean that.”

John sighed and shoved the asparagus in his mouth, quickly chewing it. “I know exactly what I'm missing out on, thank you very much. And there's only one person in the world I have ever wanted that with, and since that won't be happening, I try to forget that I ever wanted it to begin with. I live vicariously through you two lovebirds and your sickeningly sweet family. Which reminds me, I have a present for the twins.”

“You always have a present for the twins,” Charles laughed. “What is it this time? Something that won't stain the carpet like the last one did, I hope.”

\------------------------------

“Maybe I should go with you,” Erik said, running a worried hand over Peter's head. “Charles can handle the party. If he's sick then...”

“Erik,” Jean said softly, cradling Peter close to her. “He has a runny nose. That's it. We're going to turn my living room into a cloud of pillows and watch Disney movies. He'll be fine.”

Erik looked unconvinced. “You'll call me the second he gets worse?”

“You don't even have to ask that,” Jean said, giving Charles an exasperated look. “Help me out here?”

Charles wrapped his arms around Erik's waist, pulling him away from Jean. “Erik, baby, it'll all be okay. Just, let them leave.”

“But Charles, you know how he gets when he's sick! He gets clingy and he won't sleep in her bed and he has to have his teddy bear and he ne—“

Charles cut Erik off with a kiss, pulling back with a smile. “He can cling to Jean, he won't be sleeping in his bed so that's not an issue, his teddy bear is in his bag if he wants it, and it's only for one night, baby. We're picking them up tomorrow afternoon.”

Erik started to respond but was interrupted as the front door banged open, John striding in holding a gigantic metal tub full of bottles. “The party isn't for six hours, Allerdyce.”

“I know that, Lehnsherr,” John countered back, setting the tub down on the sofa, “but someone had to come early and make the sangria.” Erik shook his head as John made his way over to Jean and Peter, giving Jean a kiss on the cheek before snatching Peter away. “How's my gorgeous godson doing today?”

“Good!” Peter called out, wrapping his tiny arms around John's neck. “Mama Jean and I are gonna watch movies!”

John beamed at him. “Movies? You lucky boy. I wish I could watch movies.”

Peter laughed as Charles stepped forward, taking him away from John and handing him back to Jean. “Alright, it's time for them to leave, and for us to get ready for the party.” 

“I still think I should go with you,” Erik said, staring at Peter with concern in his eyes.

Jean sighed heavily and took Wanda's bag from Charles. “He's fine, Erik. I know how to take care of him.”

Erik stared at her for a moment before throwing up his hands and striding over to them, pressing a kiss to Peter's forehead. “I know. I just, I panic when they gets sick.”

“They're not sick,” Charles said, dropping a kiss on the top of Erik's head before giving Jean a brief one as well. “It's winter, baby. He always gets a runny nose in the winter.” 

“I know,” Erik sighed, leaning against Charles and trying to smile. “Alright, I'll stop. You two have fun and we'll see you tomorrow, little ones, okay?”

Wanda nodded excitedly, grabbing Jean's hand, and Jean flashed them all a smile before she walked out the door, calling back in thanks when John moved to shut it behind her. He laughed as he turned back to the sofa, picking up the tub and carrying it towards the kitchen. “Fuck, Erik, you really need to calm down when Jean is going to watch her. She's their mother, for fuck's sake. She's probably more in tune with their needs than you are.”

Erik stared at him in disbelief while Charles stalked after him, anger across his face. “What the fuck is your problem? And what the fuck are you doing here anyway? I said you could come early and mix the sangria but this is ridiculous.”

“What did I do, interrupt time you were going to use for sex? Go ahead, I'll just be in your kitchen getting drunk. It's the only fucking thing that's going to make me feel better right now.” 

Erik caught up to Charles as he reached the kitchen doorway, putting a hand on his elbow and shaking his head gently. “What happened, Allerdyce?”

“Not a goddamn motherfucking thing, Lehnsherr,” John exclaimed, slamming the tub down on the counter and turning around, spotting the fruit bowl and reaching for it. “Just another reminder of what it is I could be having right now and instead don't.”

Charles slumped against the doorway as Erik made his way into the room, sighing heavily. “He called you.”

“From motherfucking Rome,” John spat out, setting the bowl down next to the tub and leaning against the counter. “He was standing across the street from the Colosseum and instead of being sensitive about what that particular place meant to our relationship, he decided to be a motherfucking bastard and call me so he could talk all about the memories from the trip we took there, like I wouldn't motherfucking remember it.”

Erik put a comforting hand along John's shoulder, rubbing it softly. “Oh honey.”

“It's fucking insane, you know? Even knowing in hindsight that every fucking thing he said to me that week was total bullshit, that's still the best week of my fucking life,” John said angrily, pushing off the counter and reaching for a bottle, not bothering to look at the label before ripping the lid off and drinking straight from it. “We were making love morning, noon, and night, sightseeing in between, having the most ridiculously romantic dinners in these small little restaurants, all the shit that we never really got a chance to do here. And today he just talked about it like...like it was just...like it meant...”

Erik reached out and took the bottle from John's hand and set it down, forcing him to turn around before wrapping his arms around him. John collapsed against him as Charles approached them, wrapping his arms around them both. “I'll fucking kill him when I see him again.”

“No you won't,” John said softly, shaking his head. “He doesn't have a clue that he gets to me like this, and he's not going to either.” He pulled away from them, turning back to the alcohol and taking another drink. “I wish he didn't.”

“Well, at least you can lose yourself in the sangria tonight, right?” Charles said, pulling the bottle away from him. “If you don't drink it all before the party starts.”

John let out a forced laugh. “Please, I've got like a whole liquor store in my car. There will be no running out of anything tonight. And you're right, I'll be fine once I'm drunk. I always am.”

Erik sighed as Charles wrapped an arm around his waist, snuggling closer to his husband. “Are you sure, honey?”

“No,” John said softly, turning to give Erik a shaky smile. “But I don't have any other options, so I've got to be. I'm sure there's going to be some super hot paralegal that I can fuck tonight and if not, well, there's always the bar tomorrow night.”

Charles cleared his throat. “Well, I don't know about the paralegals, but you do have that one...”

John and Erik both gave him a strange look before John realized what he was referring to. “I already told you, I'm not bringing him around to meet all of you.”

“Wait, there's a guy?” Erik said excitedly, grinning at John. “Really?”

John rolled his eyes. “We're just fucking. That's it. It's nothing to get excited about.”

“Are you kidding me? It's been more than once?”

John sighed and leaned back against the counter. “Four times. This week.”

“Then of course it's something to get excited about!” Erik exclaimed, leaning forward to hug John again. “I don't think you've slept with the same guy twice since he left for Boston.”

John sighed. “That's not true. Okay, well, maybe it is, but come on. That's what casual sex is about.”

“Yes, and we all know that you want more than that, whether you admit it or not,” Erik said, pulling back and reaching out to slap at Charles's arm. “You didn't tell me about this!”

“He told me not to!” Charles said, holding up his hands.

Erik shook his head. “That means you definitely should tell me anyway!”

“Hey now, I'm allowed to have some secrets with my best friend!” John said, laughing. “He doesn't have to tell you everything!”

Erik glared at him. “You better believe he does.”

“Whatever.” John glanced at the clock. “Now, you two go upstairs and fuck. Leave me to my misery.” 

Erik gasped as Charles suddenly picked him up, laughing as he walked them towards the stairs. “John has spoken, Erik. That means we best do what he says or else he'll do something terrible to me at work on Monday.”

\------------------------------

“Oh, shit.”

Alex glanced up and saw the man he'd gone home with a week earlier standing in front of him. “Fuck. Hi. Um...I don't remember your name.”

“John,” he said, walking further into the kitchen, a confused look on his face. “You know Charles? Or Erik?”

Alex nodded and reached towards the sangria, refilling his cup. “Yeah, um...my fiancé is sort of...well, I mean...he's friends with Charles. Yeah, friends, kind of.”

John stared at him for a moment. “So the fiancé really exists then. I wasn't sure if you'd made that up or not.”

“No, he does,” Alex said, looking around uncomfortably. “He's, um, out there, talking to Charles.”

John glanced over his shoulder and back at the party, freezing when he noticed who Charles was talking to. “Hank? You're Hank's fiancé?”

“Yeah,” Alex said, polishing off his glass and moving to refill it again. “You know Hank?”

“From university,” John mumbled, leaning against the counter and running his hands over his face. “Fuck, moral dilemma. Tell the old friend his fiancé's cheating on him, or keep quiet for my own sake.”

Alex laughed. “He knows about the other night. There's no need to tell him. Well, he doesn't know it was you, but we can keep that our little secret.”

John shook his head and reached for a glass, filling it with sangria. “I'm not drunk enough for this. Hank's fiancé. Of all the people in the fucking world that I could sleep with, I pick you and your friend. Christ, it's a small world, isn't it?”

Alex gave him a confused look. “My friend?”

John laughed. “Yeah, the one you were with that night. He was back in there a couple nights later, and well...I'm a slut, I guess, but he was up for it.” 

Alex nearly dropped his glass. “Darwin?!”

“Yeah, yeah, that's his name,” John said, grabbing a bottle of tequila from the counter. “Well, look, it was...strange to see you again, but um, this bottle and I have a date with a paralegal from the property department. So I'll, um, see you around, or something.”

Alex stared after him as John made his way out of the kitchen, his mind refusing to process the information he'd just been given. Darwin? Darwin had gone home with th—

“Hey!” John turned around quickly, catching himself on the door frame when he stumbled. “I don't remember your name either. Might be good to know when Hank finds out I've met you.”

Alex smiled slightly. “Alex.”

It was John's turn to nearly drop what he was holding. “Alex? Shit. Okay. Fuck. Um, I got to go.”

Alex watched on, confused, as John practically ran back into the party, passing by Erik as he entered the kitchen. Erik glanced back at him before turning towards Alex, curiosity on his face. “What was that all about?”

Alex sighed heavily and slumped back against the counter. “There isn't anywhere we could go to talk, is there? Because I really need some advice right now.”

“Sure,” Erik said, snagging a glass from the counter and pouring himself some whiskey. “Um, upstairs should be pretty quiet, but we'd have to get through the mass of people to find the staircase. Does it need to be just the two of us, or can we just talk here?”

“I slept with John last week.”

Erik's eyes widened and he downed his drink, grabbing the bottle and motioning towards Alex. “Okay, yeah, upstairs I think.”

Alex nodded and snatched another bottle from the counter, checking the label quickly as he followed Erik out of the kitchen. “You guys bought some expensive shit for this party. Damn.”

Erik laughed and linked his arm through Alex's, leading him towards the stairs. “We don't do this often, but when we do, we like to do it in style.”

“I can tell,” Alex laughed, gently moving a rather drunk blonde out of the way as Erik struggled to get through the crowd. “There's a lot of people here!”

“It was just supposed to be the contract law department, that's Charles's specialty if you didn't know, but it inevitably ends up being practically the whole firm,” Erik called out, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs. “God, nobody better be up here or I'm going to yell at Charles for not making the rules clear enough.”

Alex followed him up the stairs and down the hallway, looking around once Erik led them into a room. “Your bedroom?”

“Yeah,” Erik said, flipping on the lights and heading towards the window seat. “At least this way I won't be down there wondering if someone's come up here to fuck.”

Alex sat down on the window seat and looked out over the property. “You've got a great view from here.”

“Yeah, it's nice,” Erik said, pulling the top off the whiskey and drinking straight from the bottle. “Stop stalling. Start talking.”

Alex leaned back against the wall and sighed heavily. “I was out with Darwin and I was drunk as fuck, and there was this guy at the bar, right? Well, Darwin started talking to someone and I needed another drink, so I went over to the bar and started talking to him.”

“And this guy was John,” Erik interrupted.

“Right,” Alex said. “So we're talking and flirting, and I'm a little interested but I was also a little nervous because this was the first time I'd thought about doing it since my talk with Hank. Then he just flat out asked me if I wanted to fuck, but I still wasn't sure, so I told him I was engaged, and he asked why that should matter.”

Erik rolled his eyes. “Typical Allerdyce.”

Alex laughed. “I sort of just brushed him off after that, then went to look for Darwin, but I couldn't find him anywhere. So I headed back to the toilets because that was like the last place he could be, and there he was, with the guy he'd been talking to a little earlier on his knees in front of him.”

Erik looked scandalized. “What kind of places do you hang out in if people are getting blow jobs in the toilet?”

“Perfectly fine ones!” Alex exclaimed, drinking from his bottle of vodka. “I think you missed out on a lot of these sorts of things because you married Charles so young.”

Erik shook his head. “Stop changing the subject! So, you walk in on Darwin getting sucked off, and?”

“And I immediately turn around and leave. But I run right into John like as soon as I do, and I don't even know why, but the first thing I said was that I changed my mind.”

Erik sighed drunkenly. “So you went home with him.”

“Yes,” Alex said, looking out the window again. “And it was fantastic sex, but I slept way too long and was still there in the morning when someone else showed up.”

“That would have been Charles,” Erik interrupted. “It was his week to drive to work. They switch off.”

Alex groaned and took another drink. “This is so fucked up.”

“That seems to be the new story of our lives,” Erik said. “So, you fucked John, who I assume told you tonight that he knows Hank, and so now you're freaking out.”

Alex nodded. “There's more.”

Erik stared at him for a moment before nudging him with his foot. “Come on, tell me.”

“When we were talking in the kitchen, John said something about how he slept with me and my friend. And I say Darwin, and he says yeah, him.”

Erik's jaw dropped. “Darwin?! Holy shit, Darwin is this Alex guy he was talking about earlier?”

“He was talking about him earlier?” Alex asked.

Erik stood up, wobbling as he made his way over to the bed. “Yes, we were trying to get him out of his mood because Bobby fucking called him this morning and so Charles started asking about this guy that John's been fucking, and...it's Darwin, it's totally Darwin. The description he gave matches the guy I met perfectly.”

Alex watched as Erik climbed onto the bed, blinking rapidly. “Why did you go over there?”

“It's more comfortable,” Erik said, sprawling out on his back. “Come join me if you want.”

Alex pushed himself up and stumbled to the bed, dropping down on it. “You've got a nice bed.”

“So hey, have you fucked Darwin yet?” Erik asked, shifting onto his side. “Is that part of the problem?”

Alex sighed heavily. “No. He keeps turning me down.”

Erik pondered that for a moment. “Did you tell him about your arrangement with Hank?”

“I've tried but he says he doesn't want to hear it,” Alex said, turning to look at Erik. “I told him about John though.”

“Before or after he hooked up with John?”

“I have no idea because he's not mentioned John to me at all.” Alex groaned loudly. “Just tell me to forget about all of this, okay? Tell me that it doesn't matter that Hank knows John, that John isn't going to announce to Hank that he's fucked me, that what Darwin does should have absolutely no effect on my life. Tell me all of that.”

Erik sighed and reached towards his whiskey, leaning up to take another drink. “Hank and John aren't close, I don't think, so I wouldn't really worry about that. And John is probably too busy with whatever paralegal he's picked out tonight to worry about talking to Hank. As for Darwin, well, I don't know. I can see how you're confused because you're still trying to work out how you feel about him. But I think it really sounds like he's trying to keep from taking that next step with you, and maybe he's using John to do that, and so maybe you should try to forget about it.”

“I suppose so,” Alex murmured.

Erik laughed drunkenly. “Or, you can just haul Darwin into a toilet and blow him.”

Alex laughed with him. “That's not a bad idea, actually.”

Erik glanced towards the door when he heard Charles's voice calling out his name. “We should go back to the party.”

“Yeah,” Alex said, shoving himself off the bed. “I should find Hank. I don't think I've seen him since we got here.”

Erik climbed off the bed and headed towards the door. “I've hardly seen Charles either. I've just been bored to death by his colleagues instead.”

“They're that bad, hm?” 

Erik groaned as they walked into the hallway. “It's just like, I don't care about the intricacies of contract law versus tort law, you know? My day is full of princess movies and ninja routines. I have nothing in common with these people. I try for Charles's sake, but it is really the most boring thing ever. I can only take so much of Shaw going on about unjust enrichment before I want to pull my hair out.” 

\------------------------------

John stumbled out the back door and down the porch steps, glancing around the yard for a moment before dropping down to the grass and stretching out. He stared up at the sky for a moment before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone, flicking through the contacts until he found the one that he was searching for. He pressed the button that would start the call and brought the phone to his ear, sighing heavily as he heard it ring.

_Hola._

John swallowed hard. “Where are you at?”

_John?_

“Yeah, Darwin, it's me, sorry,” he said softly, glancing towards the house.

_You sound like shit._

“Feel like it,” he mumbled. “Are you going to tell me where you're at or not?”

_Work. We just got a new exhibit in and it's so disorganized that it's fucking insane. I'm trying to make sense of it before we start setting it up in the gallery._

“Oh,” John sighed, running his hand over his face. “I'll let you be then.”

_No, no, I'm happy for the distraction, trust me._

John took a deep breath and figured it was better to just ask bluntly. “Did you only go home with me because you knew I'd fucked Alex?”

_How do you...I never told you that was Alex._

“You didn't, he did. He's at this party I'm at.”

Silence.

“I don't care if that was your initial reason, I really don't. If I had the chance to fuck someone I know my guy had been with, I probably would do it too. I just want to know.”

More silence.

_It was part of the reason, yes. But not the whole reason._

“What was the rest of it, then?”

Laughter. _I wanted to get fucked. You were willing. And, well, it's always good to go home with the best looking guy in the place, isn't it?_

“I see.”

_Look, I might be completely reading too much into this, but if you're worried that I'm only doing this because you've been with Alex, don't._

“Because you're not.”

_Exactly. I'm doing this because it's the best sex I've had in years. If I wanted to fuck Alex, I could. He throws himself at me every time I see him now._

John laughed. “So why don't you get what you want?”

_Because I want more than one night. And I'm not a homewrecker._

John sighed and pulled his jacket closer, shivering when a cool gust of wind hit him. “Neither am I.”

_So he's got someone, hm?_

“Married with a daughter,” John breathed out.

A slight pause. _You're not talking about Charles are you?_

“No! That would be like fucking my brother. Just, no.” John sat up suddenly. “Wait, you know about the whole Charles thing?”

_With Hank? Fuck yeah._

“And you still don't see your opening with Alex?”

_He's not going to leave Hank. If this whole thing with Charles isn't enough to make him do it, then he's never going to do it. And I'm not going to be a plaything on the side for him. I want him all to myself._

“Understandable.”

_So if it's not Charles, who is it?_

John sighed and laid back down. “My ex.”

_How long have you been apart?_

“Years. It's ridiculous, I know.”

_He leave you for this guy he's married to?_

John let out a strangled laugh. “No, he left me for the girl that he's married to.”

_Ouch._

“Yeah.”

_So you want to fuck?_

John smiled. “Always.”

_I'm going to work for another hour. My place or yours?_

“Mine. And that's good, because it will give me time to get home. I feel certain Charles isn't going to let me drive.”

Laughter. _That drunk already? It's barely midnight._

John laughed. “I've sort of been here drinking all day.”

_You want to just give me the address? I'll come by and pick you up after I'm done._

“I don't want to subject you to my friends,” John started, then laughed. “Though I suppose you probably already know the important ones.”

_I've met both Charles and Erik, if that 's what you mean._

“Oh fuck it,” John said, pushing himself up and stumbling towards the gate that led to the front yard. “I'm beyond caring about any of this shit tonight. You come pick me up and if Charles says anything stupid then I'm dragging you down to his basement and fucking you there. Let me go look at the front of the house so I make sure I tell you the right number. I don't want you going to the wrong one.”

\------------------------------

“So all you did was talk?”

Erik gave Charles a funny look. “Yes. What else would we have done?”

“Nothing,” Charles said, pulling Erik closer and glancing across the room towards Hank and Alex. “Hank and I just let our drunken imaginations get away from us, that's all.”

Erik stared at him in disbelief. “You thought I went up there to fuck him? In our house? In our bed?!”

“No, no,” Charles soothed, kissing Erik softly. “I didn't think that at all. Hank and I were just trying to think of reasons why you two would slip off upstairs, and that was the first one that came to mind.”

Erik put his hands on Charles's cheeks, forcing him to look at him. “I would never do that to you. Ever.”

“I know,” Charles said softly, catching Erik's lips in another kiss. “It's just kind of hot, the thought of you and Alex.”

“No,” Erik said quickly, shaking his head strongly. “Absolutely not. It is weird enough that you're sleeping with Hank.”

Charles rolled his eyes. “It's a fantasy, not a request. I like that I'm the only one who's ever had you.”

Erik huffed. “You are not the only man I've ever had sex with, Charles Xavier, and you know it.”

“No,” Charles laughed, “you sucked and jerked your way through the city before you came here. But I'm the only one who's ever fucked you, aren't I?”

Erik blushed furiously as one of Charles's co-workers coughed, drawing attention to the fact they were standing next to them. He buried his head in Charles's neck as the co-worker said goodnight, smacking him in the side as soon as he heard the sound of her heels clicking against the floor as she walked away. “I hate you.”

“You love me,” Charles countered back, dropping a kiss on the top of Erik's head. “I didn't know she was there.”

“I know,” Erik mumbled, pulling back and looking at him. “And I don't know why you think that.”

“Because I remember more of our first night together than you do,” Charles said, frowning when he heard the doorbell. “Who the fuck is that?”

Erik pulled away from him. “It's John's friend. You have to promise me you aren't going to make a scene.”

“John's friend?” Charles glanced towards the door then back at Erik. “Wait, what? How do you know that?”

Erik sighed. “Because he told me that Darwin was going to come pick him up and asked me to make sure you didn't cause trouble.”

“Why would I cause trouble over Johnny's fuck buddy?”

“Because you know him,” Erik said softly, pulling Charles towards the door. “Or at least I think you do.”

Charles shook his head. “I don't know anybody named Darwin. Or...wait. Not that Darwin.”

Erik paused by the door. “What Darwin would that be?”

“Alex's Darwin. The Darwin that Hank has bitched about to me more times than I can count. Not that Darwin.” Charles glanced through the side window and slumped against the wall. “Oh fuck, it is that Darwin.”

“You will not say anything,” Erik warned. “Not a thing. He's here to pick up John and then leave, and this will go so much smoother if Alex doesn't see him.”

Erik reached towards the door but Charles's hand came out to stop him. “Why?”

Erik sighed as the doorbell rang again. “Just trust me about it now and I'll tell you later.”

Charles nodded and let go of Erik's hand, leaning back against the wall as Erik opened the door. “Darwin! Come on in!”

Darwin blinked a couple of times. “Erik, hi. Um...I'm here to pick up...um...”

Erik laughed and ushered him inside. “John, I know. Charles is going to go find him.”

Charles shook his head quickly and Erik glared at him, prompting Charles to sigh heavily and push off the wall. “I think he's in the kitchen. I'll be right back.”

Darwin watched as Charles walked away, suddenly feeling very awkward. “Um, maybe I should just go wait in my car.”

“Nonsense,” Erik declared, stumbling a little as someone bumped into him from behind. “If you're going to be dating Allerdyce then you are totally welcome here.”

Darwin smiled nervously. “We're not dating. We're just sort of...”

“Fucking, I know.” Erik put his hand on Darwin's elbow, grinning at him. “It's okay, really. It's just, you are like the first guy that he's seen more than once since we were all in university, so I've got every right to tease him mercilessly about his new boyfriend.”

Darwin laughed slightly and looked up, the smile on his face fading when he locked eyes with Alex. “Shit.”

Erik glanced behind his back and sighed. “Fuck, I was trying to keep that from happening.”

Darwin didn't tear his gaze away from Alex as he watched his best friend come towards him, swallowing hard as he made his way into the small entry way. “Hi.”

Alex stared at him for a moment before turning to Erik. “Excuse us for a minute,” he said, grabbing Darwin by the elbow and pulling him outside.

“That was a little rude, don't you think?” Darwin asked once the door was shut. 

“I'll apologize later,” Alex said, letting go of Darwin's elbow and running his hands through his hair. “You didn't tell me about him. I told you about him, but you didn't tell me about him.”

Darwin sighed and sat down on the steps. “I don't have to tell you everything, you know.”

“Why him?” Alex asked softly. “Why'd you have to pick him?”

Darwin laughed. “What, like it's a surprise that I wanted him too? You've seen him, you know how fucking fit he is, and this is not the first time we've been attracted to the same person.”

“But it's the first time one of us has went and fucked the guy after knowing that the other already had!” Alex exclaimed, sitting down on the steps next to him. “This is insane, Darwin. If you want me enough to sleep with my sloppy seconds, then why won't you just sleep with me? Hank wo—“

“And there's your reason, right there,” Darwin said, sighing when he felt Alex shift closer to him. “I don't care if Hank has given you permission or not. I don't want one night with you, Alex. I want you. And I can't have you, and I'm not going to settle for just a taste. That would only make getting over you worse.”

“It doesn't have to be just one night,” Alex protested. “We can do it more than once.”

Darwin stood up, shaking his head. “I am not going to be your thing on the side while you go and set up house with Hank! If Hank wasn't part of the picture, I'd be dragging you towards a bed this second. But he is, Alex, and you two may have some fucked up arrangement to cheat on each other, but I don't have to be part of that. I won't be part of that.”

“And so you're going to fuck the guys I've been with instead,” Alex murmured.

Darwin laughed. “No, I'm going to fuck John. And I'm going to keep doing it until I feel like not doing it anymore. I really couldn't care less what you think about it. You don't have a say in what it is I do.”

Alex started to respond but cut himself off when the door opened, John pushing away Charles's grasp and stumbling out. “Darwin! Finally!”

Darwin laughed as John wobbled his way towards him, letting out a small groan when the older man tumbled into his side. “You weren't kidding when you said you've been drinking all day, were you? You better be able to get it up.”

John laughed and put his arm around Darwin's waist. “I can always get it up, baby. Let's go. I've wanted to fuck all night but that stupid paralegal turned me down.”

Darwin looked back at Alex for a moment before wrapping his arm around John's waist, leading him towards the car. 

\------------------------------

Alex cracked one eye open and immediately shut it, groaning loudly and pulling his pillow over his head. “Oh fuck, why is the shade up?”

“Because it's nearly four o'clock in the afternoon and I'm sick of being in the dark,” Hank said, glancing over at the living room from where he was working at the kitchen table. “And I'm glad you're awake because I have five different versions of the commercial to watch before I can go any farther.”

Alex slung an arm out and sighed when it didn't come in contact with the rest of the mattress. “Am I on the sofa?”

“Yes,” Hank said, snatching the DVD off the table and walking towards the television. “That's where you passed out when we got home, and when you're like that, I'm not capable of moving you. You were out cold.”

Alex felt around for a moment before flopping onto his back, moaning when his head let him know that it hadn't appreciated that movement. “Why did you let me drink so much last night?”

Hank laughed bitterly as he turned the DVD player on, putting the disc in. “Oh, I tried to get you to stop, but you wouldn't listen to me. In fact, you told me quite clearly that my thoughts on the subject were both stupid and unwanted.”

“Well I'm sure that I didn't actually mean that,” Alex mumbled, groaning when he felt Hank move his legs. “What are you doing?”

“I have work to do! I have things to watch! You are taking up the whole sofa, and I have to sit somewhere!” Hank exclaimed, exasperated. “I could have been done with this hours ago if you'd managed to make it to the bedroom!”

Alex pulled the pillow closer to him as Hank settled on the sofa, wincing when he heard the volume on the television be turned up. “Ugh, how fucking long is this going to take? My head feels like it's going to explode.”

“As long as it fucking takes,” Hank said sharply. “And I'm sorry that you feel so fucking awful, but you deserve it after last night.”

“Are you mad at me? Why the fuck are you mad at me?”

Hank groaned and reached for the remote. “Figure it out your fucking self. Now shut up and let me watch this in peace.”

Alex laid there silently as Hank started to watch the commercial's first version, setting his notepad on Alex's legs and scribbling out notes as he noticed things. He paused the DVD as the minute-long spot came to an end, writing out his impressions, and Alex took that as an invitation to continue the conversation. 

“I don't even remember where we were last night, so I highly doubt I'm going to remember what the fuck it is I did to make you mad at me.”

Hank rolled his eyes as he wrote himself a note to look up what song it was they had put into the commercial so he could put it on his iPod. “Last night was the party at Charles and Erik's.” 

“The party at Erik's,” Alex mused, searching his brain for some sort of memory of the previous night. “Oh, right. The one with all the people from Charles's law firm.” 

“Right,” Hank said, turning his notepad to a new page before tapping Alex on the leg. “Now shut up again.” 

Alex continued to try and force himself to remember things that had occurred the night before. He slowly brought one of his hands underneath the pillow and ran it over his face, fingers drifting over to massage his temple lightly. 

Hank frowned midway through the commercial and paused the DVD, shaking his head as he started writing again. “Okay, definitely not the second version. This is terrible.” 

“I, um...” Alex started, squeezing his eyes shut before pulling the pillow off his face. “Why do I remember being on a bed with Erik?” 

“Fuck if I know,” Hank said, plucking the pillow from Alex's hands and tucking it behind his head. “You two went upstairs for some reason, but both of you swore to us that all you did was talk.” 

Alex thought about that for a moment. “That is all we did. We talked. About John.”

“I didn't know you knew John,” Hank said, finishing off his note and reaching for the remote again. 

Alex attempted to nod but quickly stopped himself, groaning loudly. “I slept with him.” 

Hank paused with his finger hovering over the play button. “Excuse me?”

“The guy I picked up at Paco's? It was him.” 

Hank set the remote down on the arm of the sofa and took a deep breath, closing his eyes in an attempt to keep himself calm. “You slept with one of my friends?”

“I didn't know you knew him!” Alex protested. “How was I supposed to know that you knew him?!”

Hank smacked Alex's foot. “Name everybody in that photo from university that I have sitting on the mantle.” 

“What?” Alex asked, whining when Hank smacked him again. “Alright, alright. The party one? Um, you. And um, Emma and Sean. Oh, and Charles!” 

Hank sighed. “You're missing one.” 

“I am?”

Hank leaned his head back, groaning as it sank into the pillow. “John.” 

“He is not in that photograph.” 

“Yes he is,” Hank said loudly. “Go look at it again.” 

Alex laughed slightly. “I don't know if you've noticed babe, but I kind of can't move at the moment.” 

“You really think now is the time to try to be funny?” Hank asked, slumping down. “You slept with John.”

Alex reached out blindly until he felt Hank's arm, patting it comfortingly. “It was just one night. And I told you about it.” 

“You didn't tell me it was him,” Hank mumbled, leaning into Alex's touch. “So is that what got you so upset last night? Seeing him? And what the fuck was Darwin doing there? Did Erik invite him too?”

Alex's eyes opened suddenly, his head screaming in protest. “Darwin. Oh fuck, Darwin.”

Hank glanced over at him. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“It means I fucking remember last night now,” Alex said, laying his arm over his eyes and sighing heavily. “Darwin is fucking John. And he's doing it because he knows I fucked him first.” 

Hank tossed the notepad onto the counter and shifted around, stretching out next to Alex and prying the arm away from his face. “Darwin is what?”

“I know, right? He's so fucking hung up on me that he's resorting to fucking my sloppy seconds now because he won't let me fuck him. I bet that John knows all about it too, probably gets off on it,” Alex said, wincing when Hank slapped him on the shoulder. “What was that for?!”

Hank just shook his head. “You're jealous.” 

“Excuse me?” Alex said, forcing himself to turn towards Hank to stare at him. “Jealous? No, I'm not jealous.” 

“You are,” Hank said, a level of incredulity in his voice. “You're jealous.”

“That Darwin is fucking John? No,” Alex protested. “I've been there, done that, and while it was good, I could care less whether I ever have it again.”

“No, no, no,” Hank said, rolling his eyes. “You're jealous of the fact that John gets to fuck Darwin and you don't.” 

Alex fell silent for a moment before laughing. “Darwin can fuck whoever the hell he wants. I don't care! Jealous? Ha. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.” 

“It's not ridiculous, it's true,” Hank said, settling his head on Alex's shoulder. “You're in love with Darwin, aren't you?”

Alex curled his arm around Hank's shoulders. “I'm in love with you.” 

“I know,” Hank said softly, lightly running his fingers along Alex's chest. “But I think you're in love with him too, and I think that in a lot of ways, you love him more than me.” 

“Hank, I'm too hungover to be having this conversation right now,” Alex said quickly, squeezing him gently. “But I don't love anyone more than I love you. Don't ever think otherwise.” 

Hank nodded against him, swallowing hard. “I'll try.”

\------------------------------

“You slept with my fiancé.”

John blinked a few times before slumping against the door. “Hank, it's two o'clock in the morning. I was asleep.”

“I don't care,” Hank said, pushing his way into John's apartment. “You slept with my fiancé.”

John sighed and closed the door, leaning back against it and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Well, I certainly didn't know that he was your fiancé when I did it. That counts for something, doesn't it?”

“No,” Hank called out, walking into the kitchen. “Christ, Johnny, don't you know how to clean?”

John groaned and pushed away from the door. “Cleaning lady doesn't come until Thursday. Um, why are you here?”

“How many times do I have to say it?” Hank asked, rummaging around in a cabinet looking for coffee for the coffeemaker. “You slept with my fiancé.”

John sat down at the kitchen table, confused. “And so you've decided to get revenge by coming over here at two o'clock in the morning and making me coffee?”

“It's not revenge,” Hank said softly, leaning against the counter and sighing heavily. “I just don't know how to deal with the fact that you've slept with my fiancé.”

“Well I've never known how to deal with the fact that you fuck my best friend, so that makes us even?”

Hank glanced over his shoulder at him. “This has nothing to do with me and Charles.”

“It has everything to do with you and Charles,” John said, throwing his hands up. “Everything everyone does has something to do with you and Charles, whether it's Erik giving up practically the one day a week he gets Charles all to himself or whatever this fucked up arrangement that you and Alex have that allowed him to go home with me. It all goes back to you and Charles.”

“How do you know about my arrangement with Alex?” Hank asked carefully.

“Erik fucking told me when he called up to yell at me for sleeping with Alex like I was supposed to know who the fuck Alex was!” John exclaimed, leaning back in his chair. “Do you know how many people in this country are named Alex? How was I just magically supposed to know that this Alex was your Alex? He sure as fuck didn't give me the name of his fiancé!”

“Well maybe if you ever decided to spend time with more of your friends than just Charles, you would have!” Hank exclaimed. “But no, you'd rather spend your time drunk as fuck and mourning that fucking bastard that left you!”

John was out of his chair in a flash and pressing Hank against the counter, hands gripping the man's arms. “Don't ever talk about him like that again.”

“Why not?” Hank spat out bitterly. “He's the reason that you've become this shell of who you used to be, John. He's the one that turned you into this pitiful excuse for a human being that will fuck anything that moves and seems to think he needs a bottle of vodka a day to survive. This is his fault, all of it.”

John forced himself to take a deep breath, loosening his grip on Hank and backing away slightly. “Get the fuck out.”

“No,” Hank said defiantly. “I'm sorry if no one else is willing to tell you the fucking truth about things, but shit, Johnny, you've been wasting away for nearly five years now. It's time to get over it. And the way to do that is not to fuck my fiancé.”

“How many fucking times do I have to say that I didn't know he was your fiancé?!” John yelled. “If I had, I wouldn't have fucked him!”

Hank started to yell back but paused, his head tilting slightly to the side. “Wait, you fucked him? He bottomed for you?”

“Of course he fucking did. I don't bottom for anyone,” John said angrily, leaning up against the refrigerator. “What fucking difference does that make?”

Hank growled and threw a towel off the counter at him. “He's never even done that for me!”

“Well that sounds like something you should discuss with him then,” John said sarcastically. “Not with me at two o'clock in the morning in my fucking kitchen!”

Hank sighed and leant back against the counter, running his hands through his hair. “What the hell am I doing?”

“I certainly don't have a fucking clue,” John said, glancing over at him. “You look terrible.”

“I haven't been able to sleep since the party,” Hank said softly. “Alex is always at his most honest when he's drunk, and he said some things that night that I just can't get out of my head. And for some reason, I came over here to take my anger out on you.”

John laughed slightly. “Apparently I make a good punching bag.”

“I'm sorry,” Hank said quickly, shaking his head. “I shouldn't have come here.”

John reached out and stopped him as Hank tried to walk by. “Hey, it's alright, okay? I can take being the punching bag.”

“I'm sorry, really I am,” Hank mumbled. “I just don't have anyone I can talk to about this because I certainly can't talk to Charles about it and well, it just reached a breaking point tonight, I guess.”

John slung his arm around Hank's shoulders. “Well, I'm sure you'll say the fact that I slept with your fiancé disqualifies me from this, but you could talk to me if you wanted.” 

“Really?”

John sighed. “You're right, you know. I've shut everyone out, even Charles for the most part. There used to be a point where you wouldn't have even hesitated at that.” 

Hank leaned into John's embrace. “I never thought you liked me that much. Charles said you were so angry when you found out about me and him.” 

“Because I knew what a good thing he had with Erik and I didn't want him to fuck that up,” John said, leading Hank towards the living room. “Thankfully, he hasn't, because to be perfectly honest, I like Erik more than I like him. Much more rational. But don't tell Charles I said that.” 

Hank laughed as they sat down on the sofa, shaking his head. “I won't, I promise. And I don't know how rational Erik is going to be about this whole thing when he finds out that Alex and I split up.”

“What?!” John exclaimed, turning to stare at Hank. “But...”

Hank shook his head. “We haven't. I just...I think that's where things are headed right now. He's in love with Darwin and I have always known that Darwin would be so much better for him than I am, and I'm pretty much just sitting around waiting for him to realize that. And yet I don't want to lose him, because I love him and I can't imagine that I will ever love someone else this much. I'm just not sure that he feels the same way about me anymore.”

“Are you sure you're just not reading way too much into something where there's very little?” John asked, sighing when Hank slumped against him. “I mean, you two are engaged, for fuck's sake. You don't take that step unless you're fucking sure about how you feel.” 

“Yeah, we're engaged, but...” Hank sighed heavily. “We've barely discussed the fact that we are engaged since the moment that we became engaged. No talk about when we should get married or where we want to get married or any of that. We don't even have rings. It's almost like it never even happened. And then he goes off the other night and tells me that I have no right to question what he's been doing until there's a ring on his finger, and it's just like, is that the reason why we don't have rings? Is that the reason why we don't talk about this at all? Is that the reason why he wants to be able to fuck around?” 

“Well,” John paused. “I can speak from personal experience on the fucking around part and say that he made it very, very clear that it was one night and one night only. I don't think that he's out there looking for someone to replace you with, if that's what you're thinking.”

Hank laughed bitterly. “He doesn't need to do that, he already has one. Darwin.”

“Why do you think he's in love with Alex, hm? You sound so fucking sure of that.” 

Hank groaned and leaned even more into John. “I don't know. I just am. Like, ever since the first time he introduced me to Darwin, I've been waiting for the moment when he comes to me and says, 'honey, I love you, but I love Darwin more.' It really hasn't helped that I know Darwin is in love with him, because I know that when Alex finally tells Darwin the truth about how he feels, Darwin won't turn him down. And then I'll be all alone, again.”

“Okay, first off, I think we can successfully say that you've moved past the point where it was an accomplishment for one of your relationships to last more than three months, okay? You've been with him forever, and if you should split up, then you'll find someone else,” John said softly. “But from what I know about things from what Darwin has told me, Alex is crazy about you, kid. They've had their moment and it didn't happen for them.”

“I'm not sure they've had their moment though,” Hank said. “Alex talks about how he wants to fuck him all the time.”

“Fucking him is completely different to wanting to leave you for him,” John pointed out.

Hank shrugged. “Until he fucks him and realizes that he wants to leave me for him.”

“Stop being so negative about this. And I don't think Darwin is going to let him fuck him.” 

Hank turned his head to glare at John. “Don't lecture me on being negative, you hypocrite.”

“I'm not negative,” John said, tilting his head back onto the cushion. “Just realistic. I'll never get what I had with him from anyone else. I don't want it from anyone else either. I'm going to die a sad and lonely man who's the crazy uncle to Charles's kids and maybe someday to your kids, the one that brings them candy when I shouldn't and lets them stay up to all hours when I'm asked to babysit. I'll end up at the bar practically every night and I'll go home with people I'll never see again, and then I'll wake up in the morning in a big, empty bed and think about how different my life would have been if Bobby hadn't left.” 

Hank curled his arms around John's waist and sighed. “It doesn't have to be like that, Johnny. You don't have to be like that.” 

John pulled him closer. “Yeah it does. My fate was sealed a long, long time ago. You, on the other hand, have your whole life in front of you, and if Alex is your version of my Bobby, then you have to do everything you can to keep a hold of him.” 

Hank shifted around and pressed a soft kiss to John's lips, running his hand over his cheek. “I forgive you for sleeping with my fiancé.”

“Good,” John said softly. “Now go home and forgive him. Then tie him to the bed and show him exactly why you should be allowed to top every once and awhile. I've got some stuff you can borrow to do that with if you want.” 

Hank groaned and buried his face in John's neck. “I never should have said that to you.”

“Stop being so embarrassed,” John laughed. “Just pin that boy to the bed and make sure he doesn't remember another man's name ever again. Then, talk to him.” 

Hank laughed. “We shouldn't talk before the sex?”

“No, no,” John said firmly. “Get him good and relaxed first. Conversations always go better when the participants are good and relaxed. Not so much that they're asleep, but well, you know what I mean. Slap him around a little to keep him awake if you have to.”

“You are a strange man, Johnny. A strange, strange man.” 

\------------------------------

Hank turned off the bedside lamp and sat down on the bed, stretching quickly before reaching for the bottom of his shirt and pulling it off. He tossed it towards a chair before shifting to lie down, settling underneath the sheets and preparing to go to sleep. He sighed when he felt Alex's arm sneak out and wrap around his waist, pulling him back against his chest. He closed his eyes as a soft kiss was pressed to his shoulder, sinking further into the embrace as Alex's lips trailed up his neck. He could tell Alex was in the mood, and while he'd normally be up for it, he couldn't keep his thoughts from getting in the way. 

Alex paused his ministrations on Hank's neck and pulled back slightly, glancing at his partner as best he could in the dark. “You're quiet tonight.”

“I had a long day,” Hank said softly, bringing one of his hands up to tangle together with Alex's on his chest. “And I've got a lot on my mind.” 

Alex brushed a kiss along the back of Hank's ear. “You want to talk about it?”

Hank took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes completely shut, not wanting to see a single bit of Alex's reaction to what he was going to say. “I, um, I've been thinking about crashing in Emma's spare room for awhile.”

“What?!” Alex pulled back and sat up, reaching for his bedside lamp and turning it on. “Hank, what the fuck are you talking about?”

Hank forced himself to take another breath and grabbed onto a pillow, cradling it against his chest. “I think that maybe we need a break from each other.” 

“What the fuck would we need that for?” Alex asked, rolling Hank onto his back and climbing on top of him. “Hank, baby, talk to me.” 

Hank kept his eyes shut, despite Alex gently running fingertips along his cheeks. “I just feel like we both need some time to reevaluate how we feel about this relationship.”

“What needs reevaluating? Things are better now than they've been in months.”

“For you,” Hank whispered, fighting hard against the tears he could feel building. “Things are better for you.” 

Alex stared down at him in disbelief, unable to process what it was that Hank was saying to him. “You want to leave me?”

“No,” Hank said, finally opening his eyes. “That's the absolute last thing in the world I want.”

Alex swallowed hard. “Then what do you want?”

“I want to stop feeling like you're going to leave me,” Hank said carefully, letting go of the pillow to run his hands up Alex's arms. “I want to feel like I'm actually going to marry you, and I want to know when that's going to happen. I want a ring on my finger that matches one on yours.” 

Alex blinked a few times. “If this is about rings, then we can go shopping this weekend.”

“It's about more than just rings, honey.” Hank sighed and rolled his head to the side, glancing at the clock. “I don't think you realize how much it hurts me to hear you talk about Darwin and how much you want him.” 

Alex moved off Hank and laid down next to him, staring up at the ceiling. “This is the whole you think I'm in love with him thing, isn't it?”

“I need you to figure out if you are or not,” Hank whispered, clutching at the pillow again. “I don't doubt that you love him, he's your best friend for fuck's sake. But I need you to work out whether that's all it's going to be or if you really want it to be more. And if you want it to be more, I won't stand in your way, no matter how much it will hurt to let you go, because I think part of me has always known that you belong to him and not to me.” 

Alex reached over with a shaky hand and tangled his fingers together with Hank's. “I belong to you. I always have. I love you, Hank. More than I can put into words.” 

“I love you too,” Hank said, sniffling slightly. “And this isn't about our arrangements when it comes to Charles or to the guys in the bars. I'm okay with those. But I need this Darwin situation resolved, and if you choose to stay with me, then I need us to take this engagement seriously. I mean, honey, we haven't even told our parents about it.” 

“You said you wanted to tell your mother in person, and we weren't planning on going back to there until summer,” Alex said shakily. “I didn't think it would be fair to tell my parents before we tell her.” 

Hank cracked a small smile. “You could have told me that.” 

“I'm sorry,” Alex whispered, rolling onto his side and snuggling up along Hank's side. “I guess I thought you would have worked that out yourself.” 

Hank shook his head. “I thought you didn't want to tell anyone.”

“We have told some people,” Alex pointed out.

“What, like four or five?” Hank said bitterly. “It's like we're ashamed of it.”

“No, no,” Alex said, pulling Hank closer and turning his head so they were looking at one another. “Stop thinking that this second. I am not ashamed of you or the fact that I'm going to marry you. I'm not.”

Hank sighed softly as Alex brought their lips together, shoving the pillow out of the way to cling to him. Alex rolled onto his back and pulled Hank on top of him, deepening their kiss as he cradled Hank against him. Hank broke the kiss and buried his face in Alex's neck, moaning softly as Alex's hands rubbed up and down his back. They laid there silently, taking comfort from each other's embrace, both letting all that had just been said work its way into their minds. 

Alex was the first to break the silence, coughing slightly before turning to press a kiss to Hank's temple. “Don't leave me, even if it's just to crash in Emma's spare for a few nights. I'd be lost without you.” 

“I've only thought of doing it to give you some space to think about things,” Hank mumbled against his skin, shifting his head to look at him through the corner of his eye. “I need to know that I don't need to be worried about Darwin anymore.”

“You've never had to worry about Darwin,” Alex said softly, tightening his grip on Hank. “But I think that there has definitely been some confusion on my part when it comes to him recently, and I agree that needs to be worked out. You don't have to go away for me to do that though. If you went away, I'd spend all my time thinking about you and what you were doing and when you were coming back.”

“I don't want to go away.”

“Then that settles it, you're not going anywhere.”

Hank curled closer to him. “Um, another thing. That night we went to Charles and Erik's party? After Darwin left and I found you practically drowning yourself in what was left of the sangria?” 

“I didn't mean it,” Alex interrupted. “I remember saying it, and I promise you, I didn't mean it. I was furious with Alex and I was drunk out of my mind and I was still reeling from having seen John again, and then you appeared out of fucking nowhere and started asking questions I didn't want to answer, and I just snapped.”

“You tend to say what you really mean when you're drunk,” Hank whispered. 

Alex turned to look at him, reaching up to wipe away a stray tear that was slowly trailing down his cheek. “I know I do, but I swear to God, I didn't mean that one. Fuck, Hank, if I thought that about you, I wouldn't be here now. I would have left years ago when you first started telling me about all of them.” 

“You called me a fucking whore, Alex. You asked me how many people at that party I had slept with, and how many more were on my hit list. You said you knew there were others besides Charles.”

Alex winced. “Okay, I don't remember that last part.”

“It was the last thing you said before Erik came into the kitchen and pulled you outside,” Hank mumbled, running his fingers along Alex's collarbone. 

“I don't remember going outside with Erik either.” Alex grabbed Hank's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the fingers lightly. “I could tell you I'm sorry ten million times and it still wouldn't be enough of an apology for that. But I am sorry. So, so sorry.” 

Hank nodded against him. “Do you trust me? Because I trust you, even with how terrified I am about Darwin. I still trust you.”

Alex pulled Hank closer and brushed their lips together, looking into his eyes. “Yes, I trust you.”

“It's just, I know that we don't have a conventional relationship anymore, and I know that I betrayed that trust when I confessed to you about Charles, but I really thought I'd made a lot of progress in earning it back, and then you...”

“I trust you, Henry. I do. And I feel like a complete jerk for making you think that I didn't.” 

Hank shook his head. “You're not a jerk.”

“Yes I am,” Alex said softly, pulling Hank into another kiss. “Is there anything else troubling that beautiful mind of yours?” 

Hank laughed lightly. “My mind is not beautiful.” 

“Your mind is absolutely stunning,” Alex said, shifting them around until they were underneath the sheets again. “Gorgeous and sexy, everything I've ever dreamed of and more.”

Hank settled his head back along Alex's shoulder and took a deep breath. “You let Johnny fuck you.”

Alex sighed and closed his eyes. “I did.”

“You've never let me fuck you.”

Alex turned and pressed a kiss to Hank's head. “I never knew you wanted to.”

“Because I didn't think you would let someone fuck you.” 

“There's a very easy solution to this problem, you know.”

Hank smiled. “Letting me fuck you.”

“Exactly.” 

Hank glanced over at the clock. “Not tonight. I need sleep. I've got that presentation tomorrow.” 

“Then we'll do it some other night,” Alex stated. “And you're going to nail that presentation, and we're going to work all of this out, and everything is going to be okay.” 

Hank snuggled against him, sighing contentedly when Alex kissed his forehead. “I'm sorry I ruined sex. I know you wanted it tonight.”

“You didn't ruin anything,” Alex murmured, reaching over to turn off the lamp. “This was far more important than a couple of orgasms.” 

\------------------------------

“We need to quit pretending.”

Darwin blinked the sweat out of his eyes and glanced over at John. “Excuse me?”

“We've seen each other practically every night for the last two months,” John said, shifting onto his side and looking at Darwin. “I know what you're trying to do with me because it's the same thing I'm trying to do with you, but Darwin, I think we both know that it's not going to work. So I'm saying we should quit pretending.”

Darwin gave him a strange look. “And what exactly is it I'm trying to do with you?”

“Turn this into a relationship,” John said calmly. “But the simple truth of the matter is that whilst we are very compatible sexually, that's about it. You are going to end up one of my best friends, that's been obvious since like the first week I met you, but it's never going to be more than that.”

Darwin sighed with relief and stared up at the ceiling. “Oh thank God. I was starting to worry that maybe you viewed this differently than I did.”

“Nope,” John said, flopping onto his back and reaching towards his bedside table for a towel. “I think it is far better to end this love affair before it begins, because there is no happy ending for the two of us. Not with each other, anyway.” 

Darwin glanced over and watched as John ran the towel over his stomach. “I'm starting to see a happy ending for myself that doesn't involve Alex, and I think you have a lot to do with that even if it won't be with you. What about you?”

“I know my happy ending doesn't involve Alex,” John laughed, tossing the towel at Darwin. 

“That's not what I meant and you know it.”

John sighed and settled his hands behind his head. “My grandmother used to tell me that I would fall in love with lots of pretty girls along the way, but that I would only lose my heart to the right one. She was wrong about them being girls, but she was right about the last part. Bobby has my heart. No one else ever will. And I don't see the point in leading other people on, giving them the chance to think of a future with me when there is no possibility of that happening.”

Darwin finished cleaning himself off and tossed the towel onto the floor. “But you don't think you'll ever get him back.”

“He made a choice,” John said softly. “And I have never understood that choice, but as time has passed, I've begun to realize the different things that caused him to make it. He had a lot of expectations put on him by his family, and if there was one thing about Bobby Drake that everyone knew, it was that he loved his family more than anything. He talked about his brother all the time. He called his mother almost every day. And his father...he told me once that his biggest fear in life was disappointing his father. If he had chosen me, chosen the life we could have had together, he would have been disowned.”

“Disowned? There wouldn't have been even an attempt at understanding his choice for his life?”

John shook his head. “His father is a priest. His grandfather was a priest. His grandfather on his mother's side was a priest at a different church. His family was the most religious family I've ever met.”

Darwin smiled at him. “You met them?”

“Oh yeah,” John said, smiling back. “We spent the summer break between our freshman and sophomore years traveling through Massachusetts because he found out that I'd never been there and that was where he was from and he said I had to see it. We went to Boston, Worcester, Cambridge, New Bedford, everywhere. When we got to Boston, he asked me if I wanted to see his hometown, and he told me that we would meet his family but that he wasn't ready for them to know me as anything more than his friend from university. I knew how difficult it was going to be to eventually tell them the truth, and I certainly wasn't going to do something stupid enough to ruin that for him. So we spent a couple of weeks there with his family. Ended up being sort of a summer ritual after that, going back there for a couple of weeks and hanging out with his family. He spent so much time with mine, it was kind of nice to be able to spend some with his, even if they didn't have a clue.”

Darwin laughed. “How the fuck did you manage to never tip them off?”

“It was difficult, so, so difficult,” John said, laughing slightly. “I slept on the floor in his bedroom and late at night, once we were absolutely certain everyone was asleep, I'd get into bed with him. We never fucked, because that had the potential to make too much noise, but we used to lay there for hours, just kissing each other and sometimes we got brave enough to jerk each other off. And it was really good that we did that because otherwise I never would have been able to keep my hands off of him during the day. Of course there were times that we'd go off and do our own thing, you know, showing me around town and shit like that, and we could be a little more open during those, but not much because that town is crawling with family and friends and people that go to his father's church, and yeah. I think the first thing we did after we left was head straight to a hotel in Boston and fuck for like an entire day.” 

“I don't know if I ever could have done that,” Darwin said, running a hand through his hair. “The sneaking around stuff. I've just never tried to hide it. When I first started to figure out that I liked the boys at school more than the girls, I told my mother like immediately.”

John laughed. “My mother figured it out while I was trying to work up the courage to tell her.”

“Did he ever tell them?”

John shook his head. “No, he never did. He got his degree and like immediately was offered a job at this fantastic firm in Boston that an old friend of his father's ran. That was the moment he had to make his choice, because he knew that if he turned down that offer to stay here, he'd be bombarded with questions from his parents, and so he made it. He went there, ran into this girl he used to hang out with prior to university, and married her three months later.”

“Three months? Whoa.” 

John swallowed hard. “Until that point, I was absolutely convinced that one day he was going to change his mind and come back, that I would open up my door one day and find him on the other side and everything would just be okay again. But in hindsight, that was really stupid of me. There's no way he's ever going to come back.”

Darwin slid across the bed and wrapped an arm around John's waist, settling his head on the older man's shoulder. John wrapped his arm around Darwin's shoulders and squeezed them lightly, watching as Darwin ran his fingers along the outline of his abs. 

“I don't think I've ever loved anyone the way you love him, not even Alex,” Darwin said softly. “I can hear it in your voice, even now, even after everything that you've gone through.”

John smiled sadly, tangling a hand in Darwin's hair. “I told you, he has my heart. Nothing will ever change that.”

“And so you're just going to life the rest of your life alone.”

John laughed. “I don't live my life alone. I've got my friends and I've got my family, and well, I've got the guys I bring home with me.”

Darwin poked him. “You're alone.”

“Alright, fine, I'm alone, but this is the way that it has to be,” John said, glancing over at the clock. “We've got time to fuck again.”

Darwin shifted and glanced at the clock as well, frowning slightly. “We were that quick the first time?”

“Apparently so,” John said, pushing Darwin onto his back and climbing on top of him. “So let's celebrate the end of our fake relationship with some fake breakup sex.”

\------------------------------

Charles glanced up from his paperwork when someone stopped in front of his desk, seeing who it was before bringing his eyes back to the page before him. He wrote another couple of words before exactly who that person was popped into his brain with startling clarity, dropping the pen and barely noticing as it rolled off the edge of his desk onto the floor.

A soft chuckle came from the man. “Hello Charles.”

Charles swallowed hard before raising his head, unable to keep the smile off his face despite the shock he was feeling. “Bobby! What the hell are you doing in Westchester?” Charles stood up and pulled Bobby into a hug. “God, it's great to see you. It's been so long!”

“It's good to see you too,” Bobby said, smiling as Charles pulled back.

“Sit down,” Charles said, motioning to a chair. Bobby nodded and pulled up the chair as Charles made his way back around his desk.

“I hope you don't mind me dropping by your office like this, but...” Bobby glanced around the busy floor and sighed. 

Charles sat back in his chair and stared at his old friend, the dark circles underneath his eyes suddenly apparent, the fidgeting with the end of his sleeves that signaled Bobby's nervousness standing out. It may have been a couple of years since he'd last seen him, but Charles knew right away that something was wrong. “Bobby?”

“Is there anywhere we could talk privately?” Bobby asked softly, eyes pleading with Charles. “Please?”

Charles glanced at his watch before nodding. “I've got to get across town to file a motion by five. Come along with me, and then we'll go back to the house? Erik will be there, but...”

“Fine,” Bobby mumbled, giving Charles the best smile he could manage. “Lead the way.”

Charles stood up and reached for his briefcase, glancing around his desk for the right folder before frowning. “Where the fuck did it go?”

“Here!” Bobby watched as a younger man rushed over to the desk, handing Charles a stack of folders before rambling on nervously. “Sorry, Shaw wanted to look at the final wording before you left.”

Charles put the folders in his briefcase and reached out, messing up the young man's hair. “Michael, calm down. Just next time, tell me that first, okay?”

“Right, sorry.” Michael glanced over at Bobby before turning back to Charles. “New client?”

“Old friend,” Charles replied. “Help Shaw out for the rest of the day, alright? I'm not coming back to the office after I file this.”

Michael nodded eagerly and took off, Bobby biting back a laugh at how the kid practically ran towards the other side of the room. 

“Newbie?”

Charles laughed. “That obvious? He's interning here while he finishes up school, just started a few weeks ago. Good kid though, knows what he's doing.”

Bobby nodded and followed Charles towards the elevator, glancing around the floor again. “Um, is he, um...I mean, where is...”

“He's in court all day,” Charles said, pressing the down button and leaning against the wall, looking Bobby over again. “You look like shit.”

Bobby let out a small laugh. “Yeah. Things are not good right now.”

“Well, start talking,” Charles said, pushing off the wall when the elevator dinged and walking in to it once the doors opened. “You know I'll listen.”

“You always have,” Bobby said, following Charles into the elevator and leaning against one of the walls. “I fucked up. Like, majorly fucked up.”

Charles glanced back at him as he pressed the right button for the ground floor. “What happened?”

“Can we wait until we're in the car for specifics?” Bobby asked, sighing when Charles nodded. “I didn't know where else to go. Well, that's not exactly true. I knew exactly where I wanted to go but I was pretty sure Johnny wouldn't appreciate me just showing up out of the blue and dumping all this on him.”

“Alright, now you've got me worried,” Charles said, glancing at the numbers when the elevator dinged to make sure they were at the right floor. “The car's just across the street.”

Bobby nodded and followed Charles out of the building, staying silent until they were both inside the car. “You've moved up in the world since the last time I saw you.”

“Not that much,” Charles said, sliding the keys into the ignition before glancing at his watch again. “Tell me what's going on, Bobby.”

Bobby ran his hands over his face and sank down into the seat. “I've lost everything, Charles. Everything.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Charles asked, hand hovering over the shifter for a moment before deciding now was probably not the right moment to drive off. 

“It means I gave into temptations that I shouldn't have,” Bobby mumbled, dropping his hands down to his lap and sighing heavily. “I hired this kid as an assistant, and I really shouldn't have because I knew from the first moment I met him that he would tempt me. That's exactly what he did and I was too weak to resist it.”

Charles stared at him for a moment. “You fucked him.”

“For about six months,” Bobby admitted, taking in a shaky breath. “I thought that maybe it would satisfy certain urges and make them go away, but really, it did the opposite. And that scared the fuck out of me, because I had just about convinced myself that Johnny was an exception, not the rule.”

“I would say that I am surprised by that, but I'm not,” Charles said carefully, glancing over at him. “You've been arguing with yourself about what Johnny meant since the first time that you let him fuck you. Alright, so, you fucked your assistant. Then what?”

“I started to feel guilty. Broke it off. He didn't like that very much, and so he...he....”

“He what?”

“He told Kitty.”

“Fuck,” Charles muttered, glancing at his watch again and deciding he really had to start driving. “Um, how'd she take the news?”

Bobby laughed. “How the fuck do you think she took the news? First she confronted me about it, and I couldn't deny it because she deserves better than me lying to her face, then she took Daniela and went off to pray with my father at the church.”

“And she told your father,” Charles said, checking the mirrors before pulling out of the parking space and into traffic.

“Of course. He had them stay with Mama while he came to Boston and talked to me,” Bobby said, glancing out the window at the buildings they drove past. “And I opened the front door and saw him standing there and that's the moment I realized that I was really fucking tired lying. So I told him everything.”

Charles looked over at him as they came to a stop at a light. “Everything? As in everything everything?”

“I asked him if he remembered Johnny,” Bobby said softly. “He said he did. I asked him if he remembered the kind of person Johnny was. You know, the man whose hand he'd shaken and who had slept on the floor in my room because he didn't want Mom to worry about the spare. The same man that had kissed Mom on the cheek after dinner every evening and danced with my sisters during street fairs and traded football banter with him and my brothers. He said he did. And then I told him that I had lied when I'd introduced Johnny to him as a friend from school, because he was far, far more than that.”

The light turned green and Charles stated to drive again, reaching over to nudge Bobby with his elbow. “Keep talking.”

“He stared at me for a moment before he realized what I meant, and then his eyes got wide. He took out his rosary and started saying prayers, and I couldn't sit there and listen to them, so I got up and went outside. He came out a few minutes later and sat next to me on the back steps, and he asked me how long I had suffered with such sinful urges. I said years. He asked me how I could sell my soul to the devil for this, and I didn't have an answer.”

Bobby sighed heavily and slumped down in the seat. “God would give me one chance, he told me. He'd forgive my sins so long as I promised to never commit them again, because while God could forgive all sins, such depravity could not be tolerated. I laughed. I motherfucking laughed.”

“I'm sure that went over well,” Charles murmured, glancing at the clock again. “Fucking traffic.”

Bobby rolled his eyes. “You've got twenty minutes to get five blocks, calm down. And yeah, it went over well, alright. He went into this monologue condemning me for my actions, lectured me about breaking my vows when they were the single most important words a man could ever speak, informed me that until I straightened myself out I would no longer be a welcome member of the family. I interrupted him and said there was nothing for me to straighten out, that I was who I was and it obviously wasn't going to change since it never had. And then he looked me right in the eyes and called me...filthy...and...disgusting...and...abnormal.”

“He didn't.” Charles took a hand off the wheel and rubbed Bobby's shoulder comfortingly. “Tell me he didn't.”

Bobby took a shaky breath and nodded.

Charles stayed silent until he drove into the courthouse parking lot, pulling into the first space he saw and bringing the car to a stop. He turned off the ignition and reached across the console, pulling Bobby into a hug. “You're not, Bobby. I promise you, you're not.” 

“I am though. I am in the eyes of God, in the eyes of the Church,” Bobby mumbled. “In the eyes of my father. My mother. My wife.”

Charles pulled back and looked at his friend, sighing when he saw the despair in his eyes. “Look, I know that it's difficult, alright? But you have to believe me when I say that there's nothing wrong with you. Nothing.”

“There has to be,” Bobby whispered.

Charles shook his head. “No, there doesn't.”

“Kitty wants a divorce,” Bobby mumbled. “She wants to keep Daniela away from me. She kicked me out of the house. The kid went to my boss and told him what had been going on, and of course he fired me. Everyone knows, Charles. They all think something's wrong with me.”

“Well if there's something wrong with you, then there's something wrong with me,” Charles said firmly, “and Erik, and our life together, our family.”

Bobby shook his head. “No, no. There's not.” 

“Then don't you dare think there's something wrong with you.” Charles glanced over at the clock and sighed, reaching towards his backseat to snag his briefcase. “Stay here, alright? This shouldn't take more than five or ten minutes. Then we'll go back to the house.” 

Bobby nodded and Charles moved to get out of the car, pausing when Bobby's hand came out to grab his elbow. “Charles, if you see him, don't tell him I'm here. I'm...I...I need to think about a lot of things before I talk to him, because he'll ask questions I don't have answers to yet.”

Charles nodded, giving Bobby a smile. “I won't. I promise.” 

\------------------------------

Charles had just drifted off to sleep when he felt himself jerked back into the waking world by a shake at his shoulder. “What?”

“Bobby's been sleeping in our guest room for a week.”

Charles cracked an eye open and looked over at Erik. “You want to talk about this now?”

“Well I certainly can't talk about it in front of him, now can I?” Erik asked quietly, pressing himself closer to Charles. “Look, I don't mind, alright, he can stay however long he wants. I'm just a little curious as to how long that will be.”

Charles sighed sleepily and pulled Erik closer to him, rolling his husband onto his back and putting his head on his chest. “He doesn't have anywhere else to go, baby.”

“Yes he does,” Erik said matter-of-factly. “John's.”

“That's not...” Charles fought off a yawn. “That's not an option at the moment. Doesn't he talk to you about this during the day?”

Erik snorted. “He spends most of his time in bed. He only really drags himself out of it in time for you to come home.” 

“He's depressed,” Charles mumbled. “That's normal.”

Erik groaned in frustration. “You know as well as I do that there is one thing that is going to solve all of his problems, and that's for him to get his ass over to Johnny's and this time stay there forever.”

“Yes. You know that, I know that, but baby, we have to give him time to realize that for himself. He's extremely fragile right now and if we push him too much, then he's going to break.”

Erik huffed. “What the hell is he waiting for? How can he not realize that Johnny would take him back in a heartbeat?”

Charles propped himself up on his elbows and stared down at Erik. “I don't know if he'll do it in a heartbeat for one. Look, neither one of us knows exactly what was said between them that day, okay? But I think we can make a fairly accurate educated guess based on stuff Johnny has told us, and it's obvious that he said things that cut Johnny deep. Just because we know that Johnny would take him back eventually doesn't mean that he thinks Johnny would take him back. And besides, he's so confused right now that I don't think he even realizes that he wants Johnny back. So just, be patient with him and stay out of it.”

“But Charles...”

“Erik, stop,” Charles commanded, groaning and laying back down. “You don't understand what he's going through right now, alright? You don't understand how much it hurts to tell people who you love the truth about who you really are and have them reject you for it.”

Erik frowned and brought his hand up to Charles's head, running them gently through his hair. “But your parents...”

“Ended up understanding and tolerant,” Charles said, sighing contentedly as Erik's fingers lulled him back into a sleepy state. “But they had a really difficult time with it at first, and I think honestly they were still unsure about it all until I settled down with you and we started our family. And it hurt, baby. More than I can begin to describe to you. I had faith that they would come around eventually, that's what they did and everything's fine now. But Bobby has none of that, just knowledge that his family probably never will. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult that is to deal with.”

“I'm sorry,” Erik whispered, pressing a kiss to Charles's forehead. “Sometimes I forget that you had to go through that.”

Charles pressed a kiss to Erik's chest and tangled their fingers together. “I don't think you realize how easy you had it, baby.”

“I guess I don't,” Erik said softly. “It's just so difficult to see him like this, Charles. Especially when the solution is so simple.”

Charles closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Erik's heart beating. “I know what you mean. I'm practically avoiding Johnny in order to keep from telling him that he's here, because the second he finds out about it, you know he's going to be knocking our door down.” 

“He's supposed to come over Sunday, watch the game,” Erik murmured. 

Charles's eyes snapped back open. “Shit, I forgot about that.”

“He'll know something's up if we just cancel on him. Remember what happened last time we tried that? He found the spare key and walked in on me with your dick in my mouth.”

“Trust me, that is one moment that I will never be forgetting,” Charles said, laughing. “Johnny will never let us forget it.”

Erik sighed. “You're just going to have to tell Bobby that he'll be here then.”

“Why do I have to tell him?” 

Erik rolled his eyes. “He's your friend.”

“He's our friend.”

“You knew him before I did.”

“Fine,” Charles sighed, closing his eyes again. “I'll tell him in the morning.”

Erik shoved at his shoulder. “You won't see him in the morning. You're taking Wanda to breakfast with Jean and then she's taking her to that kids festival while you go see Hank.”

“Then I'll tell him tomorrow night. And tell me again why you are not going to that with her?”

“Because I'm not supposed to be outside in the cooler weather for that long.” Erik shook his head. “And you can't wait until tomorrow night. That will give him only a matter of hours to prepare for seeing him!”

Charles groaned and looked up at Erik. “What do you want me to do then?”

“Go tell him now.”

Charles glanced over at the clock. “Now? He's probably asleep.”

“He's not sleeping, trust me. Go tell him now.”

Charles stared at his husband for a moment before sighing heavily and tossing the covers back, climbing from the bed. “You know, this is exactly the kind of moment Johnny is referring to when he jokes about how whipped I am.”

“I like those jokes,” Erik said cheekily, pulling the covers back on the bed and grabbing onto Charles's pillow. “Check on Peter while you're up.”

Charles nodded and looked around for his shirt, pulling it on once he'd found it. “Anything else, sir?”

“Quit being such a smart ass. You're performing a service for the greater good of two of your best friends here.”

Charles shook his head as he walked towards the door. “You make absolutely no sense sometimes.”

“I make perfect sense!” Erik called out as Charles walked out of the room and into the hallway. He stopped at the twins's room and peeked inside, smiling at the sight of his little angels sleeping peacefully, before making his way to the guest room.

He glanced at the bottom of the door, noting the hint of light that was coming from underneath it, before knocking softly. “Bobby?”

“Yeah?”

Charles opened the door quietly and poked his head inside, glancing towards the bed before spotting Bobby sitting on the floor in front of the closet. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure,” Bobby mumbled, leaning his head back against the door. “This is a ridiculously nice house, by the way. I don't think I've told you that yet.” 

“From what Erik was telling me, it sounds like you've barely ventured outside of this room,” Charles said, sitting down next to him. “How are you doing?”

“Fucking fantastic.” Bobby laughed bitterly. “My lawyer called today. She wants everything. The house, the cars, full custody. Absolutely everything. And what the hell kind of position am I in to fight that? Not a very good one, that's for fucking sure. Whatever, that's not what you came in here for.”

“No, but we can talk about it if you want to.”

“Maybe later.” Bobby turned his head to look at Charles. “What is it?”

Charles scratched at the back of his neck nervously. “Well, Erik and I were just talking and, well, we realized something and we thought that we should prepare you for it.”

“Whatever it is, I'm sure I can handle it,” Bobby said, stretching out his legs. “It can't be that fucking awful.”

“John's coming over on Sunday to watch the game, and well, you know how he gets when people try to cancel on him.”

“Shit.” Bobby sighed heavily. “Shit. I'm not...I can't...I'm not ready to see him, Charles.”

Charles nodded. “I can try to keep him downstairs if you want to just stay up here. And I'll make sure that neither one of us says something about you being here.”

“That...that would be best, I think,” Bobby said slowly. “I just, I have to be sure before I...I don't know if he's going to slam the door in my face or...I know how much I hurt him. I don't...”

Charles shook his head and put a hand on Bobby's shoulder. “You don't have to explain it to me. I get it. And Bobby, he'll forgive you. He loves you too much to lose you a second time just because he's too stubborn to do that.”

Bobby gave him a soft smile. “Thanks Charles.”

“Any time,” Charles said, glancing over at the clock and standing up. “Now, I'm going to sleep.”

Bobby laughed. “You need it. You look exhausted.”

“It's been a long day, there was the client from hell, and yeah.” Charles stopped at the doorway and looked back at Bobby. “Hey, don't just give her what she wants, alright? Fight her.”

Bobby sighed. “I don't know.”

“Look, I know what it's like to have a little girl. Daniela deserves to have her father in her life, regardless of what Kitty thinks of you. And there is absolutely no reason why Daniela should be kept away from you. Having sex with a man doesn't make you an unfit parent.” 

Bobby nodded, smiling at him. “Thanks Charles. I'll try to keep that in mind.”

\------------------------------

John smiled as the door opened, his eyes widening as Erik practically shoved Wanda into his arms. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Erik said, making sure that John had a good hold on Wanda before letting go. “Peter got loose. Charles is looking for him but he can't find him so I've got to go help. Watch her, will you?”

John laughed and pulled Wanda closer to him, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “No problem. Is there beer?”

Erik rolled his eyes and pushed past them, walking towards his car. “Of course that's what you're worried about. You better not be planning on getting drunk tonight, you can't stay over.”

“Why not?!” John asked, putting a foot inside the front door to keep it from closing. 

“Because we're redoing the guest room and no one can stay in there! And the one in the basement is full of laundry.” Erik pulled open the car door and glanced back at him. “Take her inside already! She doesn't have a coat on!”

John nodded and walked into the house, smiling at the little girl in his arms. “How is Miss Wanda today?”

“Good!” Wanda called out, clutching at the lapel of his jacket as John closed the door. “Papa made pancakes this morning!”

John grinned at her as he set her down, reaching to take off his coat. “Pancakes? Well, maybe I should have come over for breakfast.”

Wanda giggled and wrapped her tiny arms around his leg. “You like pancakes? I like pancakes!”

“I love pancakes,” John said, draping his coat over the back of a chair and bending down to pick her up again. “Is there extra? Maybe we could sneak one before your papas come back.”

Wanda shook her head. “No more pancakes.”

John tickled her as they walked towards the kitchen. “Did you eat all of them? There's always extra!”

“I didn't!” Wanda called out. “Bobby did!”

John paused. “Bobby?”

“Uh huh,” Wanda said, nodding. “Daddy said he had to eat them because he hasn't eaten very much this week. Daddy was very worried about him.”

“Bobby...” John swallowed hard. “Bobby was here?”

Wanda laughed. “Is here! He's upstairs!”

“Upstairs?” His head was spinning. 

“I show you!” Wanda squirmed around until John put her down, taking off towards the stairs. John followed after her, watching carefully as she climbed up the stairs, pausing at the top of them when she ran to the guest room door and slapped her hands against it. “Bobby!”

John watched as the door opened, gripping onto the railing tightly as Bobby, his Bobby, came into view. He was...he...

“Why aren't you downstairs, hm?” Bobby asked, bending down to pick Wanda up. “Did your papa let you come up here?”

“No, no!” Wanda called out, pointing towards the stairs. “Johnny!”

Bobby looked towards the stairs and took a step backwards, leaning against the door frame as their eyes locked. “John.”

“Bobby.” John took a deep breath and took a step forward, a shaky smile on his face. “I, um...I didn't know you were here.”

Bobby held Wanda closer to him, ignoring the way her hand tapped him on the shoulder. “I asked them not to tell you.”

“Oh,” John said, breaking the gaze and looking down at the floor. “I see.”

“I just...I wasn't ready to see you,” Bobby said quickly, taking a step forward. “So much has happened and I needed to be ready before I saw you.”

“Seeing me is that difficult?”

Bobby sighed. “I didn't want this to be this awkward, as stupid as that sounds.”

John nodded, swallowing hard. “Well, this is going to have to be not so awkward at some point, right? I thought that was the point of the phone calls.”

“The point of the phone calls was that I couldn't take not talking to you,” Bobby said, coming closer to him. “No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't handle you not being part of my life.”

“I didn't know there was still a place for me in your life,” John said softly. “You made it rather clear that I couldn't have one.”

“I did,” Bobby said sadly. “I said that and I made that choice and it was the worst decision I've ever made in my life.”

John looked up at him and took in the look in Bobby's eyes, seeing something there that he thought he'd never see again. “Why are you here, Bobby?”

“That's...” Bobby paused and glanced at Wanda, running a hand over her hair. “Not in front of her, okay? You'll get the whole story, I promise. Just not in front of her.”

John nodded and Bobby closed the gap between them, wrapping his free arm around John's shoulders. “God, it's good to see you, Johnny. You have no idea.” 

“Yeah I do,” John said, putting his arms around Bobby and burying his head in Bobby's neck. “I really do.”

Wanda squealed and put her arms around both of them, bouncing in Bobby's arms. “Hug! Hug hug!”

John pulled back and gave Wanda a kiss, pulling her from Bobby's arms. “Did your papas tell you not to tell me Bobby was here?”

The smile on Wanda's face faded, and she looked at John with fear. “They gonna be mad at me!”

“No, no,” John said, smiling at her. “We'll make sure they won't be. Won't we?”

“Of course,” Bobby said, nodding when Wanda's head whipped around to look at him. “We promise.”

Wanda sighed and put her head on John's shoulder. “Good. I not like when they mad at me.”

“How about we go downstairs and have a cookie?” John said, smiling when Wanda's head shot up. “You want a cookie, sweetie?”

“Cookie! Oh, please, please!” 

Bobby laughed and John looked over at him. “Come downstairs with us? Watch the game, have a few beers, and then, maybe we can talk about stuff.”

Bobby nodded. “So long as I don't have to listen to you go on and on about how the Jets need a good wide receiver.”

John laughed and turned towards the stairs. “It's so true though! Their attack would be so much better if they had someone going long!”

\------------------------------

Bobby walked into the apartment silently, glancing around the small front room as John locked the door behind them. He glanced over the pictures on the wall as he removed his scarf, noting that several of the framed photographs were the same ones that had once hung in John's tiny dorm room, prints of the two of them taken during various moments of their storied affair. He walked towards the wall and searched out one particular photograph, a smile crossing his face when the black and white picture came into view. He reached up and ran his fingers along the edge of the frame, taking in the happiness on John's face, the joy on his own, the majesty of the Colosseum in the background.

“That's my favorite picture,” John said, watching Bobby as he removed his coat and hung it in the small closet near the door.

“Mine too,” Bobby said softly, glancing over his shoulder to look at him. “I keep it inside my briefcase, look at it from time to time to remind myself that there was a time when I was genuinely happy.”

John paused with his hand on the closet door, taking a moment before glancing back towards him. “Give me your coat.”

Bobby took off the garment and walked across the room, handing it towards John and watching as he placed it on a hanger and then inside the closet. “I have to say that I'm a little surprised to see it up. Given what you said when I called you from Rome, I assumed that was a part of the past you didn't like to remember.”

“I don't,” John said, closing the closet and walking past Bobby. “It hurts too much.”

Bobby watched as John disappeared into another room, turning towards the sofa and sitting down. “I know that you probably think that what I said on that trip wasn't the truth,” he said carefully, running his hands through his hair. “I wouldn't blame you if that was the case.”

“That was the week where we planned out our life together,” John called out, his voice tight with tension. “And look at how well that turned out.”

Bobby sighed heavily, pulling at his sleeves. “That's my fault. Things could have gone that way if I wasn't a fucking coward.”

John walked back into the room, two glasses in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. “Something tells me we need something harder than beer to get through this.”

Bobby nodded and watched as John sat down in one of the room's chairs, fighting off the disappointment of him not joining him on the sofa as John poured them each a drink. “Some of our best conversations have been aided by hard liquor, so that's probably a good idea.”

John handed over one of the glasses then sat back in his chair, bringing his own glass to his lips and taking a large sip. “You're not a coward.”

“Yes I am,” Bobby said, slumping down on the sofa and swirling the whiskey around in his glass. “If I had any sort of a backbone, I would have stood up to them, told them the truth. Never left you for a life that I didn't want to lead.”

John downed the rest of his drink and reached for the bottle to refill his glass. “Why are you here, Bobby?”

“I came back to figure out who I really am,” Bobby said softly, resting his glass against his thigh. “And I came back here because this is the one place that I've ever felt like I knew who that was.”

John nodded and set the bottle back on the table. “How's that going?”

“Good,” Bobby mumbled, sighing heavily before setting his glass down on the table in front of him. “You know what, I can't fucking do this slow shit. I didn't come all this way to sit around and wish I was saying the things that I really wanted to. Look, I fucked up my entire life and the more I think about it, the more I think that it was the best fucking thing I've ever done. And as all of that has become clear, the one thing that stands out overwhelmingly is the fact that leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life.”

John stayed silent for a moment, twisting his glass around in his fingers. “What do you mean you fucked up your life?”

“I hired a kid as an assistant, and then I fucked him for awhile,” Bobby stated plainly. “Broke it off and he told Kitty, and that is now the grounds on which I'm getting a divorce. She told my father, who came all the way up to Boston to fucking lecture me like a five-year-old child, and I couldn't fucking take that, so I told him the truth. I told him about the kid, I told him that this is who I am. I told him about you.”

“Me?” John said quickly. “You told him about me?”

Bobby nodded and reached for his drink, polishing the rest of it off before continuing. “It was time to come clean about everything, and you are such a major part of that section of my life. It wouldn't have felt right to tell him everything else and not have mentioned you.”

Bobby set his glass back on the table and John moved to refill it, glancing at his former lover. “He flip out?”

“I am filthy and disgusting and abnormal apparently,” Bobby said, taking his refilled glass from John with a nod. “Not that I disagree with that, but...”

John reached out and put his hand on Bobby's knee. “Don't say that. Please, don't say that.”

“Why not? It's the motherfucking truth!” Bobby exclaimed. “It's immoral and wrong! Everything we ever did was immoral and wrong! Men shall not lie with men. It's right there in the Bible! And it doesn't matter how right it felt or how much I love you, that doesn't change the fact that this is wrong.”

John set his glass on the table and stood up, walking the short distance to the sofa, sitting down next to Bobby and pulling him into his arms. “I know why you feel that way. It was drilled into my head too. But baby, you have to learn to accept that not everything in the Bible is right. You have to accept how you feel as the truth.”

Bobby put his head on John's shoulder, setting his glass down before sliding his arms around his waist. “I was so close to that point, back then. I started planning what I was going to say to them, how we were going to sit at the table in the kitchen and I'd sneak my hand under the table to link together with yours. I started thinking about what life would be like if they shut me out, if I could survive with this huge chunk of my life missing. And I got fucking scared, and instead of talking to you about it, and working through it, doing what I wanted, I ran.”

“Bobby,” John whispered, staring at Bobby as he raised his head.

Bobby moved his hands up to John's face, caressing his cheeks lightly before sliding them around the back of his neck. “I can't even begin to imagine how much I hurt you. Every time I think about it, I get this ache in my chest that is so unbearable that if it's anything like you felt then I don't know how you've been able to stand it. I wish there was a way that I could take all of that back, make it so that you never had to feel any of that, but I can't. All I can do is sit here, and look you in the eyes, and tell you how deeply sorry I am. Because I am so, so sorry.” 

John swallowed hard and stared at Bobby, feeling like he was drowning in the sorrow he saw reflected in his eyes. “I know it sounds absurd and dramatic, but there were moments when I felt like I was going to die because it hurt so much. I gave you everything I had and to have it just thrown back at me like that...I lost who I was, Bobby. So much of that was wrapped up in you and what you meant to me, and then suddenly you were gone and I didn't know what to do. I crashed in on Charles and Erik, I barely left their couch for a month. I tried to drink the pain away, and when that didn't work, I tried to fuck it away, and that didn't work either. You left that day and took my heart and soul with you, and I'll never get them back.”

“I love you, Johnny,” Bobby whispered, leaning forward and resting his forehead against John's. “There is so little that I feel like I know for sure right now, but I know I love you. I always have. I don't know if you'll give me another chance, Lord knows I don't deserve one, but I...”

“Shh,” John shushed, curling a hand around Bobby's neck and pulling him into a kiss. Bobby whimpered and threw himself into the kiss, pressing hard against John and losing himself in the feeling that was so familiar and he had missed for so long. John broke the kiss and pulled back, giving Bobby a soft smile. “You have lost your mind if you think I won't give you another chance.”

“I need time,” Bobby said carefully, fingers grabbing onto the collar of John's shirt. “I know this is what I want, but I'd be lying if I said it's not going to take me a long time to get comfortable with all of it again.”

John nodded and tangled his fingers in Bobby's hair. “I think it will do us both good to take this slowly,” he said softly. “Do it right. But you have to promise that when you get scared, you'll tell me. I cannot take losing you again, Bobby. That would kill me for good.”

“You won't,” Bobby said firmly, shaking his head. “I promise you, you won't.”

John smiled and pulled him into another kiss, this one brief. “I really, really want to continue this, but I have work in the morning.”

Bobby nodded and sat back, taking in a shaky breath before glancing at his watch. “I should call for a cab then.”

“No,” John whispered, standing up and reaching for Bobby's hand. “Stay here.”

“Johnny,” Bobby started, letting John help him up. 

John laughed. “I have five years of sleeping without you to make up for. You're not going anywhere.” 

“I'm not...” Bobby took a deep breath. “I'm not ready to have sex with you.”

“I'm not talking about sex,” John said, leading Bobby towards the bedroom. “I just want to hold you in my arms and know that you'll be there in the morning.”

\------------------------------

Darwin looked over at the boxes he needed to go through before deciding that he'd had enough for the day. He stood up and walked back into his office, glancing at the clock and frowning. He blinked and looked at the clock again, shaking his head when he realized that really was the time. “So much for our big talk, Hank. You couldn't even show up for it.” 

Darwin grabbed his coat and put it on before looking over the papers that covered his desk to make sure nothing that needed to be put away was sitting out. He opened up the top drawer of his desk and pulled out his keys, glancing around his office one last time before walking out and closing the door behind him. After pausing for a moment to make sure the door was locked, he turned off the lights for the storeroom and headed towards the exit. 

He nodded at one of the security guards as he walked past them, made small talk with another one as they undid the security system to let him leave the building. He pulled his coat tighter around himself once he was outside, enjoying the chill in the air even though he preferred much warmer weather. He started the long walk towards his car, parked in the far corner of the parking lot just as he did every morning, feeling it only appropriate to leave the closer spaces to the museum's visitors. 

He was halfway through the empty lot before he noticed something lying on the pavement off to his left, and after taking a few steps in that direction, he gasped when he realized it was a person. He looked frantically around the parking lot for any other sign of life before sprinting towards it, the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach growing as he got closer. The person groaned and turned his head, and Darwin quickened his pace, dropping to his knees next to him. “Hank!”

Hank tried to say something but instead grimaced in pain, drawing Darwin's attention to where Hank's hands were pressed against his stomach, blood covering his fingers. Darwin immediately reached towards his pockets, grabbing his phone and calling the number for the security office, begging for help the moment someone answered. He dropped the phone when he heard the door to the museum slam open, reaching down to run his fingers comfortingly along Hank's face. “They're getting an ambulance.”

Hank nodded and whimpered as the movement jarred him. “They...” he whispered, swallowing hard. “They wanted the car. I saw the knife so I told them to have it, but then they...” He groaned again, his eyes slipping closed.

“Shh,” Darwin soothed, bending down to press a kiss to Hank's forehead. “It's okay. It's going to be okay.” 

“Tell...” Hank got out, opening his eyes again. “Tell him I love him.”

Darwin shook his head. “Stop that. You'll tell him that. You're going to be okay, Hank.” Darwin took off his coat and laid it on top of him, glancing up when he heard sirens in the distance. “See, they're on their way. It's going to be okay, I promise.” 

Hank nodded and took a shuddering breath, swallowing hard again. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the feeling of Darwin's hands on him, before giving in to the darkness that had been threatening to overcome him.

\------------------------------

Alex stared at the wall, his eyes tracing the flowery pattern of the wallpaper over and over. He could hear people around him, nurses talking to other nurses, occasional announcements over the intercom system, but he paid them no attention. His mind was focused on one thing and only one thing. 

Hank. His Hank.

He wasn't sure if the meaning behind Darwin's frantic phone call had really set in yet, despite the fact that he was sitting in a hospital waiting room and not-so-patiently awaiting news. So he silently reviewed everything that he knew to be the truth, everything the police had told him since they'd come to speak with him a few moments ago.

Hank had been approached by three men the moment he'd gotten out of his car. They were bigger than he was, according to one of the officers, and therefore probably stronger. An argument ensued when one of the men demanded Hank give him the keys to the car, and then another of them had pulled out the knife. Hank capitulated once he saw it, but the men didn't want him to just run inside the museum and call the police, so they had...had...

Alex paused his thoughts and forced himself to take a deep breath, eyes mindlessly following the pattern on the wallpaper once more. 

They'd taken the car and driven about ten blocks before one of them realized that there was blood all over the backseat from the knife. They made the decision to dump the car near the port, and to burn it. An officer had come across them while they watched the car burn, and after a short foot chase, he and his partner had arrested the three men. 

At least he could take some comfort in the fact that the bastards who had done this to his Hank were in jail and likely to stay there for awhile. 

“Alex?”

He tore his gaze away from the wallpaper as someone sat down next to him, blinking several times before the fact that it was Erik clicked into his brain. He slumped towards him, sighing as Erik's arms enveloped him into a hug. “He's...they're...”

“Shh,” Erik soothed, running comforting hands down Alex's back. “Honey, how are you doing?”

Alex shook his head suddenly, pulling back to look Erik in the eyes. “Don't call me that. He calls me that. Please.”

“Okay, I won't,” Erik said, pulling Alex back to him. “But how are you doing?”

Alex shook his head again, turning his face into Erik's neck. “He's in surgery.”

“I know, Darwin told me,” Erik said, pulling Alex up so he could look at him. “I'm asking how you are.”

“How do you think?!” Alex snapped, immediately feeling bad for it. “Sorry, I just...”

Erik just shook his head. “It's alright. I understand. If something happened to Charles, I wouldn't want someone asking me stupid questions like that either. Darwin mentioned that you weren't talking to anyone so I thought I'd try.” 

“I just keep thinking about him,” Alex said, sitting back in his chair before slumping down. “I keep thinking about the last time I saw him, how I'm never going to forgive myself if the last thing I ever said to him was that.”

Erik stared at him for a moment before reaching out and taking Alex's hand in his. “You two had a fight?”

“About Darwin,” Alex said softly, blinking back the tears that were building. “Fuck, it was so stupid and he was right, he's always right, but I couldn't keep my big mouth shut and I brought Charles into it, and now...I just want to hold him and tell him that he was right and that I'm a jerk and I'm so afraid that I'll...”

Erik clutched their joined hands to his chest, looking at Alex with deep concern. “You'll be able to tell him. Don't think for a second that you won't be. He's going to be fine.”

“How do you know that?” Alex asked, pain evident in his voice. “How can you be sure of that?”

“It's just a feeling,” Erik said, running his free hand up Alex's arm. “But if I could survive what I went through, then Hank can survive what he's going through. He's tough, Alex.”

Alex laughed slightly. “He's tiny. And soft, and sensitive. Everyone thinks he's so tough and that he can take anything, but the reality is quite the opposite. It doesn't take much to hurt him.” 

“Mr. Summers?” Alex looked up and saw a nurse standing in front of him, smiling politely. “Mr. McCoy is out of surgery and back in his room, if you want to see him.”

Alex nodded and Erik let go of his hand, standing up along with him. “I'll go tell Charles and Darwin that he's out of surgery, okay?”

Alex nodded again and followed the nurse from the waiting room, nodding in thanks when she paused outside of a door. He ducked into the room and took a deep breath, taking the final few steps until he was at Hank's bedside. At first all he could see were the tubes and bandages, but then his vision settled and he saw Hank, his Hank, lying there peacefully. Alex pulled up a chair and sat down, reaching out and gently tangling his fingers together with Hank's. 

There, by his bedside with Hank finally in his sight, Alex let the tears start to fall.

\------------------------------

Hank opened his eyes and quickly shut them again, groaning. “Why is the curtain open?”

Alex's head shot up and he moved closer to the bed, bringing Hank's hand up to his lips to kiss it. “Baby? Hank, open your eyes and look at me.”

“Not until you close the curtain,” Hank mumbled.

“I'll do it,” came another voice in the room, prompting Hank to frown. 

“Why is Charles in our bedroom?”

Alex laughed slightly and reached up to run his hand along Hank's face. “You're not at home, baby. You're at the hospital.”

Hank opened his eyes again, looking at the concern on Alex's face before glancing around the room. “Hospital? Oh, wait, the car, and then the...”

“Shh,” Alex shushed gently. “Don't think about that right now.”

Hank turned his gaze back to Alex and smiled softly. “I didn't think I'd ever see you again.”

“Well, thankfully that's something you don't have to think about anymore,” Alex said, bending forward to brush a gentle kiss across Hank's lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Hank whispered back, looking up when he noticed movement behind Alex. “Where do you think you're going?”

Charles paused in the doorway and turned around, giving Hank a big smile. “I was giving you two some time alone.”

“Come here first,” Hank said, smiling at Alex before reaching out to take Charles's hand when he was close enough. “Thanks for being here, Charles.”

Charles just shook his head. “You couldn't have kept me away. You should have seen how I reacted when Erik got the phone call.”

“I can imagine,” Hank said, pulling Charles closer. “I love you too, you know.”

Charles glanced over at Alex but didn't find any of the hurt or anger he was expecting written across his face. He turned back to Hank and bent down, quickly brushing a kiss along his cheek. “I love you too, Hank.”

Hank let go of his hand and smiled at him. “Okay, now you can give us time alone.”

“Yes sir,” Charles said jokingly, putting a hand on Alex's shoulder as he passed by. “I'll go get Erik and Darwin from the cafeteria and let them know you're awake, so expect two more visitors here in a little bit.”

Hank laughed as Charles walked out of the room, reaching out to tangle his fingers with Alex's once more. “You handled that very well.”

“I saw how worried he was for you,” Alex said quietly. “I saw how Erik calmed him down, and I think I finally got over my last lingering fear when it came to you and him because of that.”

Hank attempted to move but let out a groan of pain instead, shaking his head quickly. “Okay, no moving.”

Alex reached out and grasped a small controller, bringing it to Hank's hands. “The nurse that was in here earlier said that if you push this button, it will give you more pain medication.”

Hank took the controller and pressed the button, dropping his head back to the pillow. “Thanks honey. Now tell me what this last fear was.”

“We don't need to talk about this right now, baby,” Alex said, sitting back in his chair but keeping his fingers tangled with Hank's. “You need to rest.” 

Hank started to respond but was cut off by a yawn. “So long as you promise me that you'll tell me later.”

“I promise,” Alex said, watching with a smile as Hank's eyes drifted closed. “Get some sleep, baby. I'll be here when you wake up.”

\------------------------------

Hank slowly made his way towards the sofa, carefully sitting down as Alex frantically rushed around the room, searching for pillows. “I know we have more around here somewhere. Fuck, of all the times to not know where the fuck we stored things.”

“They're in the closet in the bedroom,” Hank said, leaning back against the cushions and smiling lazily at Alex. “Forget about them for a minute and come here.”

Alex raced over to the sofa before gently sitting down next to him, peering at Hank with concerned eyes. “What do you need? A blanket? That's probably in the closet with the pillows. Or maybe some hot chocolate? Some cookies? I can go in the kitchen and start making a batch.”

Hank smiled and reached out, curling his hand around Alex's neck and pulling him closer. “How about a kiss?”

Alex smiled back at him before bringing their lips together softly, shifting his weight to make sure he wasn't putting pressure on Hank's injured stomach. Hank moaned softly as Alex nipped at his lower lip, opening his mouth to give Alex the access he was seeking. Alex took the opportunity and deepened the kiss, bracing himself against the arm of the sofa and tilting Hank's head back until it rested against the top of the cushion. Hank let his fingers play along the back of Alex's neck, dancing over the spot he knew was ticklish and silently laughing when he heard Alex groan.

“Oh, shit. Sorry.”

Alex broke the kiss and turned to glare at the front door, shaking his head when he saw Charles standing there holding Peter. “What the fuck do you want?”

“Be nice!” Hank smacked the back of Alex's neck and looked towards the door, his eyes lighting up when he saw who was standing there. “Charles! They let me come home!”

“I can tell,” Charles said, glancing back outside before walking further into the house. “Erik's getting Wanda out of the car. We've already told her that she can't climb up on you because you've got a boo boo, so don't worry about that.”

Hank laughed. “A boo boo. Fuck, I wish that's all it was.” 

Alex cleared his throat. “Um, what exactly are you doing here?”

“Erik got this brilliant idea to come over and cook a bunch of meals for you, put them up so all you have to do is heat them up,” Charles said, sitting down in one of the living room's chairs and settling Peter in his lap. “That way you don't have to worry about Hank trying to cook while you're at work, and once you're home, you don't have to spend time cooking dinner, you can spend time mothering Hank.”

“That's a lovely idea,” Hank said quickly, pulling at Alex's shirt sleeve. “Honey, turn around and sit properly. I'm sure Charles doesn't want to stare at your back all night.”

Alex sighed and did as Hank asked, allowing a smile to come back to his face as Erik walked through the front door holding Wanda. “Now there's a beautiful little girl if I've ever seen one.”

Wanda laughed and Erik set her down, smoothing a hand over her hair before running towards the sofa. “Alex! Hi! Hi!”

Alex smiled and scooped her up once she was close enough, settling her in his lap and pressing a kiss to her cheek. “What's that you got there, sweetheart?”

“For Hank!” Wanda called out, thrusting the piece of paper towards Hank. “I draw you picture so you feel better!”

Hank grinned and took it from her, examining the crayon drawing of a stick figure with a bandage around its waist. “It's beautiful, Wanda. Thank you.”

“Welcome!” Wanda called out, resting her head against Alex's chest.

Erik sat down in the chair next to Charles's and looked over at them. “When did they let you come home? We weren't sure if we were going to beat you here or not.”

“A couple hours ago,” Hank said, starting to lean forward to put the drawing on the table before stopping himself and handing it towards Alex. “Honey, put that on the table for me, will you?”

Alex nodded and did as he was asked. “Charles was just telling us about your plan, Erik. That's very generous of you.”

“Oh, it's nothing really,” Erik said, smiling at the way Alex was gently holding his daughter. “Just one friend helping out another. We want to do whatever we can to help. Anything.”

Hank looked over at Alex and Wanda and smiled, reaching out to run a hand along Alex's arm. “Every time I see you with her, it makes me want us to have kids.”

“Someday,” Alex murmured, bending over to kiss Hank lightly. “Well, how about we take this little one and I help you in the kitchen, Erik? Leave these two in here to talk.”

Erik nodded and stood up, giving Charles and Peter a quick kiss. “I've got groceries out in the car. I didn't know what all you had here so I came prepared.”

“Then let's go get those first,” Alex said, holding Wanda close and standing up before walking towards the door. “What about you, huh? Can you help carry things?”

Wanda nodded furiously. “I got to hold a bag in the car!”

Hank glanced over at the three of them as they walked out the door, turning towards Charles as soon as the door was closed. “When he said you'd do anything, how far exactly does anything go?”

Charles gave him a strange look. “Why?”

“Because there is something I've really wanted to bring up for awhile now and for some reason, I think this is my chance,” Hank said, running a hand through his hair. “We've, um, talked about it before.”

Charles stared at him for a moment, confusion written across his face before realization dawned on him. “Oh, _that_. That, um, wow. Yeah, you might be right. We'll need alcohol. And somewhere for the twins to sleep. But I think we probably can convince them tonight.”

\------------------------------

Charles had given him a little nod nearly an hour ago, but Hank waited until he knew Alex was drunk to bring up the subject. “Honey?”

Alex swirled his head towards Hank and grinned at him. “What?”

“Are you attracted to Erik?”

Charles let out a short laugh when Erik's eyes widened, cutting himself off when those wide eyes turned to glare at him. “Sorry.”

Alex glanced over at them before turning back to Hank. “Why?”

“Because I'm curious,” Hank said, looking over at Erik. “I am, so I thought maybe you would be too.”

Erik's jaw dropped and he switched his gaze to Hank, staring at him incredulously. “You what?”

“Do you have any idea how fucking gorgeous you are?” Hank asked, smiling at him. “It's intoxicating.”

Erik's gaze flicked between Charles and Alex before he let out a small laugh. “You're drunk.”

“I'm drinking water,” Hank said, holding up his bottle. “No alcohol because of the painkillers. I don't have to be drunk to appreciate your looks, Erik.”

Alex slumped against Hank's side, leaning over to whisper loudly in his ear. “What are you doing?”

“You never answered my question,” Hank said, turning towards him and brushing their lips together. “Tell me, please.”

Alex stared at him for a moment before shifting to look over at Charles. “You want to know too, don't you?”

“I'm more interested in whether or not Erik's attracted to you, to be honest,” Charles said, glancing towards his husband. “So I think you both can answer the question. Are you attracted to each other?”

Erik sat back in his chair and stared at Alex, knowing the look on Charles's face meant he wasn't going to get out of this situation without an answer. “You first.”

“Me? Why me?” Alex said, bringing his beer up to his lips. “I think you should go first.”

“Hank asked you first,” Erik said, playing with the label on his bottle. “So therefore, you answer first.” 

Alex laughed. “You just don't want to say you're attracted to me if I say I'm not attracted to you.”

“So you aren't attracted to him?” Hank queried.

Alex turned and looked at Hank, sighing heavily. “Of course I'm attracted to him. You said it yourself, he's fucking gorgeous.”

Charles smiled and turned towards Erik. “Alright, he confessed. Now it's your turn.”

Erik frowned. “Confessed? What makes you think this is some sort of a confession?”

“Because it is,” Charles said softly, reaching out and taking Erik's hand in his. “And I know you're attracted to him, and I know you've been struggling with that. I can tell.”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Erik said, pulling his hand away. “I have not been struggling with anything.”

Charles slid out of his chair and onto his knees next to Erik's chair, bringing Erik's hand up to his lips and kissing it softly. “You have. You get nervous when Saturday afternoons roll around. You've been trying to come up with reasons to skip out on your time with Alex. I know what you're like when you're attracted to someone, baby. You get shy and you get nervous and it's just...obvious.”

“I think I hear Peter,” Erik said, trying to stand up only to have Charles push him back down into the chair. 

“You heard nothing. The twins are sound asleep in the guest room. Answer the question.” 

“Fine, I'm attracted to him!” Erik exclaimed. “But it doesn't matter because I'm not going to do anything about it!”

Charles smiled and squeezed Erik's hand. “What if I said that you could?”

“What?!”

Hank smiled, reaching up to tilt Alex's face towards him. “What if we both said you could do something about it?”

Erik stared at Charles, hearing Hank's words but refusing to acknowledge them. “Why would you want me to do that? You...you've said it yourself, Charles. You like that you're the only one who's ever...you know.”

Charles smiled and pushed himself up, moving in between Erik's legs and pulling him into a deep kiss. “So you finally admit that I'm the only one who's ever fucked you.”

“Charles!” Erik found himself wrapped up in another kiss, his head swimming from the combination of his husband and the alcohol. 

Charles pulled back and smiled at him, running his thumbs along Erik's cheekbones. “Baby, I want you to have everything that you want. And you want Alex.”

“I have everything I want,” Erik protested weakly. “I do.”

Charles smiled at him. “You are the most amazing man I've ever met, you know that? I've given you ninety million reasons to leave me and you never have. From the first time I ever saw you with your siblings I knew you'd be a great father but you're an even better one than I imagined you would be. And you laid there in that hospital bed and looked death in the face and all you were worried about was me and how I was handling it. You're just incredible, baby. And I know we were meant to meet when we did, and I thank God for that every day, but you lost out on a lot of potential experiences because of that. So I'm not surprised that you're curious, and I'm certainly not mad, how could I be mad about this? I just want you to think about yourself for a moment. If you want Alex, then you want Alex, and I want you to have this.” 

Erik stared at him for a moment, eyes blinking rapidly. “How much have you had to drink?” he asked shakily.

Charles laughed. “I've been drinking water just like Hank.”

“You,” Erik paused and swallowed hard. “You knew? Really?”

Charles nodded. “For months now. Hank and I have talked about bringing this up a lot.” 

“You two set us up tonight,” Alex stated, his head tilted to the side drunkenly. “We made all that food this afternoon and you two sat in here and planned how to set us up.”

Hank reached out and tangled his fingers with Alex's. “I've had my own near-death experience now,” he said softly, watching as Erik's eyes found him. “And it's taught me that I need to stop keeping things like this to myself and start speaking up about them. And the rest of this is now something that Charles knows nothing about.”

Charles shifted until he was sitting between Erik's legs, giving Hank a confused look. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that it's time for all of us to stop pretending that we are in separate relationships here and acknowledge that we're in one giant, complicated one,” Hank said, grimacing as he took in too sharp of a breath. “It means that I want Erik as much as I want Alex to have Erik. It means that I've dreamt about you and Alex together. It means that I've somehow managed to fall in love with your husband too. It means that I am really fucked up for thinking that this could work but then again, we've already made it work for months just without the sex. And I know sex complicates things even more, but...”

“It's the natural progression from where we're at,” Alex said, glancing over at Hank. “Somehow I know exactly what you're trying to say and it makes sense.”

Hank squeezed his fingers and looked at Alex nervously. “This doesn't mean that I don't want to marry you, and it doesn't mean that I don't want us to have a family of our own someday, it just...it means I want all of it. And yeah, maybe part of me has thought for awhile now that if you had them then you wouldn't need to go pick up strangers or that you wouldn't need Darwin so badly, and maybe that part of me is wrong, maybe all of this is wrong. But I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore.” 

Alex leaned over and kissed Hank softly, resisting the urge to pull him into his arms. “You should never keep things like this to yourself.”

Hank laughed mockingly. “No, of course not, because it makes perfect sense to just come out and say that I think the four of us should fuck, but more than that, that _this_ is more than that, that it's about love and understanding and that we've found something here that I can't even begin to explain but that I'm not sure I can live without. Yeah, sure, I should have just told you that the moment I figured it out.”

“Yes, you should have,” Charles said, reaching up to grasp Erik's hands where they rested against his shoulders. “You really, really should have.”

Erik sighed and dropped his head down to rest on Charles's. “I'm so confused. I'm...” Erik pulled back and stood up, stumbling towards the door. “I need to go outside for a few minutes.”

“Erik, wait.” Alex stood up and followed after him, leaving Hank and Charles to sit there and stare at each other. 

“You're not going after him?”

Charles shook his head. “He needs to think. Hopefully Alex will kiss him. That would help. What the fuck, Hank?”

“I'm sorry. I should have told you.”

“Yes, you should have,” Charles said, running his hands through his hair.

Hank sighed heavily. “This has gone beyond the two of us, Charles. And it's gone beyond the possibility of Erik and Alex too. Do you not recall telling me that you'd like to give my fiancé a go some day? Because that's when I started to realize that maybe this really is more than just me being insane.”

“Of course I remember that,” Charles said, standing up and coming to sit next to Hank, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “I meant it too. Doesn't mean I'm in love with him.”

Hank leaned his head onto Charles's shoulder. “I understand that I am probably further along in this situation than any of the rest of you are. But it's because you've talked about Erik so much and now that I've finally had the chance to meet him and get to know him over these last few months...”

“You fell in love with him,” Charles stated, laughing a little. “Can't say I blame you for that. He's an easy one to fall in love with.” 

Hank took a deep breath and ignored the pain, moving closer to Charles and grabbing the front of his shirt. “I am really terrified that I just ruined everything.”

Charles curled his arm around Hank's shoulders and brushed a kiss across his temple. “I don't know why, but I have a feeling that you didn't.”

\------------------------------

Hank glanced up when Erik walked back into the house, Alex trailing behind him. Charles pushed away and stood up, making his way over to his husband and wrapping his arms around him. “Erik...”

“This is too much for me right now,” Erik said, glancing over at Hank from Charles's embrace. “I need...I need time with it.”

“Of course,” Hank said, reaching up to run his hand along Alex's when Alex came up behind him. “I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm prepared to give everyone as long as they need.”

“It's not...” Erik pushed his way out of Charles's embrace and walked over to the sofa, carefully sitting down next to Hank. “It's not that I don't understand what you're saying, because I do, it's just that I've never even contemplated our situation in these sorts of terms.”

Hank reached up and ran a hand along Erik's cheek. “Erik, it's okay. I understand.”

“Erik,” Alex said, drawing everyone's attention to him. “Why don't you tell them our, um, idea?”

Erik blushed lightly and jumped as he felt Charles sit down behind him, melting back against his husband as Charles's arms slid around his waist. “Well, we, um, we sort of thought that maybe one way to progress from here, slowly of course because it needs to be slow, and well, not right this exact moment because obviously with the way things currently are this can't happen tonight or anything but...”

Charles slid his hands up Erik's chest and brushed a kiss along his neck. “Baby, take a deep breath and calm down.”

“Sorry,” Erik said, forcing himself to take a deep breath and bringing his hands up to tangle with Charles's. “We want to watch.”

Charles laughed as Hank smiled, glancing up at Alex to see the desire in his eyes. “Oh, I have no problem with that.”

“Neither do I,” Charles said, tilting Erik's head back to give him a kiss. “I think that's an excellent place to start, baby.”

Hank tugged on Alex's arm and pulled him around the sofa, grinning as he sat down on the coffee table. “But like, you two are going to enjoy each other while we're fucking, right?”

Erik blushed again and Alex reached out, taking one of Erik's hands and kissing it softly. “He hasn't even let me kiss him yet, Hank.”

“I never knew you were so shy,” Hank said, running his hand over Erik's cheek again. “Why won't you let Alex kiss you, hm?”

Erik glanced over at him and swallowed hard. “I...”

“Just one little kiss,” Charles murmured, hands running comforting circles on Erik's chest. “Baby, trust me, you'll feel a lot better about things if you let Alex kiss you.”

Alex stared at Erik for a moment and when he saw the little nod, he moved closer, wrapping his hands around Erik's cheeks. “You're gorgeous,” he whispered. “So beautiful and I've wanted to do this for so long.”

Erik's eyes glanced up into Alex's and then Alex closed the distance between them. Erik's hands tightened around Charles's, his eyes slipping closed as Alex massaged their lips together gently, with just enough pressure to make Erik's heart start to race but not so much as to scare him. Alex started to pull back but Erik's hands came up and grasped onto him, keeping their lips pressed together and deepening it. Alex groaned into Erik's mouth and threw himself into the kiss, drowning in the sensations that were slowly spreading through his body. 

“Fuck, that's hot.”

Erik pulled back and glanced over at Charles, blushing furiously when he saw the dark hint of arousal in Charles's eyes. He started to put his head down but Charles shook his own quickly, tilting Erik's chin back up. “No, no, baby don't you even dare. This is not something to be ashamed over.”

“I just kissed another man,” Erik said softly, gasping when Charles's arms tightened around him. 

“Yes, you did,” Charles said, nipping at Erik's neck. “Sitting right here, with me, listening to me tell you that it was okay. It was one of the hottest things I've ever seen, baby, and I promise, when we get home, I'm showing you exactly how much that turned me on, okay?”

Erik sat still for a moment before nodding shakily. “It's going to take me some time to get used to this.”

“And like Hank said, you can take all the time that you need,” Charles said, hugging Erik close to him. “You're not the only one who needs to adjust to this situation, baby. I'm not a hundred percent sure about it either. But I think Hank's right, this is inevitable. He's just a lot further along than we are in the process.”

Alex bent forward and kissed Erik again, smiling when he drew a small groan from him. “It's going to take us all some time to adjust to it. We're going to have to figure out how this is going to fit in all of our lives, because while there is this possibility of one for the four of us together, I don't think that we quite realize how to make this work yet. I know I don't want to give up the life I have with Hank. I'm sure you don't want to give up the one you have with Charles.”

“No,” Erik said, shaking his head. “If we do this, it's an addition to everything, not a complete change of priorities. My life with Charles and the twins will always come before this.”

Alex nodded. “There's going to be more to this than just us all starting to fuck. We're going to have to do a lot of talking and figuring things out. But I think we've done enough of that for tonight.”

Hank smiled at him, fighting off a yawn. “I think we all need some sleep.”

“You do especially,” Charles said, peering at him over Erik's shoulder. “And I think that we need to not do anything but talk until you're healed.”

Hank pouted. “That's not fair.”

“Yeah, well, none of us want to hurt you,” Charles said, moving one hand away from Erik to grasp Hank's. “And I'm sure that the doctor told you that you couldn't have sex for awhile.”

Hank groaned. “Don't remind me. A month at least, he said. A month! How am I supposed to live without sex for a month?”

Alex laughed. “We'll find some way to keep you entertained, don't worry.”

“I was not worried about entertainment,” Hank protested. “All I need to do is watch you shower and I'll be perfectly entertained. I'm worried about the fact that I can't do anything about that.”

\------------------------------

Bobby pulled into the driveway and brought the car to a stop, turning off the ignition before sitting back in his seat and staring at the house before him. John watched carefully from the passenger seat, his left hand sneaking across the console and tangling together with Bobby's right. Bobby broke his gaze away from the house and squeezed John's fingers as he smiled shakily at him. “So, this is the house.”

“It's nice,” John said softly, glancing towards it. “Come on, you said Kitty was only giving you an hour. That doesn't give us much time.”

Bobby nodded and unhooked his seat belt, climbing out of the car and looking around the block. “She's probably sitting at the neighbor's, wondering who the fuck you are.”

“You didn't tell her I was coming with you?” John asked, slamming the car door shut and walking towards the front door. 

Bobby shook his head as he dug in his pocket for the house key. “It was hard enough convincing her to let me come get my stuff. She wanted to burn it.”

“She, um,” John said, scratching at the back of his neck as Bobby slid the key into the lock. “She sounds lovely.”

“She is,” Bobby said, sighing heavily as he opened the door. “She's got a temper though. To be perfectly honest, we were fighting even before she found out about the kid.”

John followed Bobby into the house and shut the door behind him. “Oh yeah?”

“It's a difficult thing to make a marriage work when you really don't want to be married,” Bobby said, heading towards the kitchen. “I know that she's really hurt and I don't blame her for feeling that way, but I do think that once a little time has passed, she'll realize this is for the best. We rushed into marriage when marriage is the one thing that you shouldn't rush into. Hell, the only reason we got married in the first place was because she was pregnant. I'm not sure our relationship would have progressed to the point of marriage if she hadn't been.”

John stopped in the kitchen doorway, watching as Bobby snatched up a note from the counter. “Pregnant? But Daniela...”

“Isn't that old,” Bobby said, glancing over the curt words that Kitty had written him. “She lost the first baby two weeks after we got married.” 

John stepped into the kitchen and put a hand on Bobby's shoulder. “I'm sorry, Bobby. I had no idea.”

“I know,” Bobby said, crumpling up the paper and tossing it towards the trash can. “We never told anyone. We just waited until the doctor said that we could try again, and then when she ended up pregnant with Daniela, we were ecstatic but no one knows the real reason why. Well, except for you, now.”

John pulled Bobby close and wrapped his arms around him, sighing when he felt Bobby melt against him. “We should get your stuff.”

“She packed most of it in boxes already,” Bobby murmured, pulling back and giving John another shaky smile. “We just need to get clothes from upstairs.”

John nodded and followed Bobby out of the kitchen and up the stairs. “So you, um, you didn't marry her because you were in love with her?”

Bobby walked into the bedroom and headed towards the closet, pulling out a suitcase and tossing it onto the bed. “I think that if I'm perfectly honest with myself, then I can admit that I loved the situation more than her. If I was married to a woman then there would be absolutely no questioning of my sexuality or what I got up to during university. It was a cover and it was a good one. Of course, part of that means admitting that I've been in love with you since the moment I met you, and if I admit that, then I feel like the biggest asshole that has ever walked the planet for everything that I did to you. And I'm really trying very hard not to feel like the biggest asshole to ever walk the planet.”

John smiled softly as Bobby started pulling things out of the closet and tossing them towards the suitcase. “You're not an asshole.”

“I am though,” Bobby said, looking through the closet one more time before moving over to the dresser and pulling open the top drawer. “It's going to take me a long, long time to forgive myself for all of this. I did so many things because I thought of myself and no one else, not about you and how it might make you feel or about Kitty or even about Daniela. I'm a self-centered son of a bitch and I don't deserve anyone's forgiveness, let alone my own.”

John leaned up against the dresser and reached out, tilting Bobby's head up so he was looking at him. “You were scared and you did what you felt you had to do to protect yourself. You can't blame yourself for that. You didn't know what else to do.”

“Yes I did!” Bobby said angrily, slamming the drawer shut. “I knew exactly what it was I should do and I did the exact opposite! I cannot count how many times I've known that what I should do is stand by your side and what I have done is leave!”

“Name them.”

Bobby looked at him in disbelief. “What?!”

“Name them. Some of them. One of them. Whatever. Let's start working this out.” 

Bobby pulled open another drawer and searched through it, staring at the contents for several minutes before realizing everything in the drawer was Kitty's. “I stood on the stairs and listened the morning you told my mother you were gay.”

John leaned back against the wall and smiled. “I know.”

Bobby shut the drawer and looked up at him. “What?”

“I could see your reflection in the glass of that painting that was on the wall,” John said softly. “I waited for you to tell me but you never did.”

“You never told me that you told her.”

“I know,” John said, running his hands through his hair. “I didn't know how you'd react to it. We'd never discussed whether or not I'd lie to your parents should they ask me about a girlfriend.”

Bobby headed towards the bedside table, sitting on the bed's edge and opening that drawer. “I never asked you to lie to them. I never expected you to either.”

“I don't think I could have, to be perfectly honest,” John said, looking over at him. “But in the end, I only told her because I thought that maybe, someday when you were ready to tell them, your mother might take into consideration that I was always honest with her while trying to figure out how to view her son-in-law.” 

Bobby smiled softly. “She kept your secret. She never told my father. She never even mentioned it to me.”

“It's not a secret, it's my life,” John mumbled.

“I know,” Bobby said, tossing the few things he'd grabbed into the suitcase and walking over to John. “But to me it was a secret, and it's going to take me awhile before I can think of it as my life.”

John reached out and pulled Bobby close, wrapping his arms around his neck. “You know I'll wait as long as it takes, right?”

“I do,” Bobby said, stopping John when he leaned forward for a kiss. “No, not here. Not in this house. We'll go back to the hotel and you can kiss me all you want there, but not here.”

John pulled back and nodded towards the suitcase. “Finish that up and let's find those boxes so we can get out of here.”

Bobby laughed as he walked back to the bed, arranging some things in the suitcase before closing its lid. “This is making me think about how we'd always be in such a hurry to leave Mom and Dad's so we could get to the hotel in Boston and fuck.”

“Please don't bring that up,” John groaned, running his hands over his face. “I'm having a hard enough time keeping my hands off you without being reminded of some of the best sex of my life.”

Bobby locked the suitcase and pulled it off the bed, turning towards John with a smile. “What if I said I wanted to recreate those days?”

“Sex,” John croaked out. “Are you saying that you're ready to...”

Bobby grinned. “I'm having trouble keeping my hands off you too.”

John stared at him for a moment before clearing his throat. “Boxes. We need to put the boxes in the car, and then we need to stop at a store somewhere. I didn't come prepared for that.”

\------------------------------

Hank looked over at Darwin as they pulled into the driveway, giving him a smile as Darwin brought the car to a stop. “Thanks for taking me, Darwin. Alex was panicked when he realized how busy things were at the restaurant and that he couldn't get away to come with me to the appointment.”

Darwin put the car into park and looked over at Hank, a big grin on his face. “This is my favorite part.”

“Excuse me?” Hank asked, confusion written across his face. 

Darwin just laughed. “Of the plan. This is my favorite part.”

“Plan?”

Darwin leaned back in his seat and glanced towards the house. “Alex came over last week and we had a really long talk about how fucked up everything had gotten between us these past few months. Cleared the air on a lot of subjects, and we both came to the same conclusion. We love each other, but only in the way that two men as close as brothers can love each other. There is attraction there, but we've gone so long without acting on it that it pretty much says it all. We don't want our relationship to go any further than it has.”

Hank looked down at his lap, his fingers playing with the end of his shirt. “Darwin, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“I know it hasn't happened since I met him, but before that, when you two were thinking about taking it further...” Hank paused and glanced over at him. “You know what I'm trying to ask right? Because I'm not sure I can actually say it.”

Darwin nodded. “You want to know if I've ever fucked him.”

“I've never asked him, and he's never brought it up,” Hank said softly, looking out the window and waving at the neighbor. “But in order for me to believe what you just told me, I think I need to know. And I'm not sure I trust that he'd tell me the truth on this. He knows how...touchy I get about you.”

Darwin took a deep breath and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. “He'd tell you that we haven't.”

“Right.”

“He'd be lying.”

Hank swallowed hard. “I sort of thought that might be the case.”

“In his defense,” Darwin said, glancing up at the ceiling, “I'm not sure he actually remembers that night too well. We were both really drunk, and well, the only reason I remember it is because I woke up in bed with him in the morning. I left before he woke up.” 

Hank turned towards him. “So how do you know that you fucked then?”

Darwin laughed. “The condom in the middle of his floor. He must have tossed it towards the trash but it didn't make it. I cleaned it up because it was rather gross. He didn't tie it off.”

“Ew,” Hank said, cringing. “So that was the only time?”

Darwin pondered his next words for a moment before deciding that he had to be completely honest. “He met you the next night.”

“So I wasn't completely insane when I assumed that you two were together that night,” Hank murmured.

“No,” Darwin said, running a hand through his hair. “And I should have known that things between us would never work out the moment Alex practically jumped out of his chair trying to correct you. I might not have been a stupid, miserable fuck for the last five years if I had. But the past, unfortunately, is something we cannot change. We can only look towards the future.”

“Right,” Hank said carefully, smiling when he noticed Alex was standing on the front porch. “Oh good, things must have calmed down and let him get out of there by regular time.”

Darwin grinned again. “Alex had the day off today.”

“What?” Hank exclaimed, looking back at Darwin. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“The plan,” Darwin said, turning towards him. “We talked about a lot more than our non-existent romantic relationship that night. We put together a plan that you'd never see through, and it worked like a charm.”

Hank blinked rapidly as Alex made his way towards the car, reaching over to shove Darwin in the shoulder. “Tell me what is going on!”

“Oh no,” Darwin said, reaching up to rub his shoulder. “You'll figure it out. Just make sure you say yes, alright?”

Hank jumped when his door suddenly opened, Alex bending down to stick his head into the car. “Trying to steal my fiancé Darwin?”

“We were just contemplating a run to the airport,” Darwin laughed, nodding at him. “Nah, I was just living up to my part of the plan.”

Alex smiled and reached for Hank's hand, pulling on it gently. “Excellent. Now it's time for my part. Come on, baby.”

Hank glanced back at Darwin before letting Alex help him out of the car, stopping him from shutting the door. “Wait.” Darwin watched as Hank ducked back into the car, leaning over the seat to kiss him gently. “Thanks, Darwin. For everything.”

“Your welcome,” Darwin said softly, smiling as Alex pulled Hank out of the car. “Shut the fucking door already! I want to get the bar before the game starts.”

Alex flashed him a smile and slammed the door, leading Hank towards the house as Darwin backed out of the driveway. “You look confused.”

“You lied to me about work,” Hank said, staring at him as Alex walked up to the door. “You skipped out on my doctor's appointment for whatever this is, so it better be good.”

Alex took a deep breath before turning the handle, pushing the door open and motioning for Hank to walk inside. “I hope it is.”

Hank walked into the house and froze, his eyes scanning over the hundreds of photographs that were stuck to the walls. He took a few steps closer to one of the walls and a smile crossed his face when he realized every one of them was of the two of them, taking at various points throughout the previous years, on vacations and at parties, even some of them lying together in bed. He reached out and pulled one from the wall, his smile widening as the memory of that moment flashed through his mind.

Alex closed the front door and watched as Hank made his way around the room, reaching into his pocket to finger the velvet box there lightly. He took another deep breath as he dropped down to one knee, just waiting for the moment when Hank turned back around.

Hank glanced behind himself and the pictures he'd been collecting fell from his grasp, tears welling up in his eyes when he finally realized exactly what was going on. “Alex.”

“Come here,” Alex said shakily, pulling the box out of his pocket as Hank came closer. 

Hank gasped as he dropped to his knees in front of Alex, his eyes trained on the box Alex held in his hands. “Honey...”

“Have I ever told you about the moment I realized I was in love with you?” Alex said, reaching out to wipe away a stray tear from Hank's cheek. “It was about four months after we met, when we spent that weekend in Buffalo. Remember that weekend? I don't remember a lot of it, to be honest, but I remember that the place we stayed was an absolute shithole and there was only one sink in the whole place, in the kitchen. I walked into the kitchen on the Saturday morning and you were already in there, brushing your teeth over that kitchen sink. You smiled at me from around the brush and I have absolutely no idea why my brain picked that moment, but that's the first time I ever thought about the fact that I was in love with you.”

Hank laughed as more tears ran down his face. “That weekend was when I realized I was in love with you too,” he choked out. “Except my moment came when we were walking through town, and you stopped to ask an older man for directions, I don't even remember to what. You towered over him, and you bent down to study the map he had taken from you, and just something about that moment and how gentle you were with him made me realize that I was in love with you.”

Alex smiled at him and leaned forward, brushing their lips together. “I barely remember what my life was like before I knew you. And I know that I don't ever want to know what it would be like without you. I want to wake up beside you every morning for the rest of my life, and I want to fall asleep next to you every night for the rest of my life, but more than any of that, I want you to want the same thing. I won't lie to you, Hank, there was a long time there after I found out about Charles where I questioned whether or not you and I wanted the same things, but I don't any more. I know that you want this as much as I do.”

Hank nodded and forced himself to breathe. “More than anything. I want it more than anything else.”

Alex took a breath of his own. “There's five years worth of pictures on the walls right now. Walls that we painted together after we moved in and promised we'd decorate but never have. And so I'm asking you for the chance to fill them with more pictures. Pictures of the two of us, pictures of the family that we're going to have, and the perfect place to start with that is a picture of our wedding. But we can only have a wedding if this happens first. I know that we've already talked about this, and I know that you've already asked me, but there has been one thing that was still missing.”

Hank watched as Alex opened the small black box, revealing the two silver rings nestled inside. “Oh honey, they're gorgeous.”

Alex smiled and took one out of the box, reaching for Hank's hand. “I love you, Henry, more than I ever thought I was capable of. And I want to know if you will marry me.”

“Yes,” Hank whispered, watching as Alex slid the ring onto his finger. “I love you, honey. So, so much.”

Alex pulled Hank hard against him, crushing their lips together. Hank melted against him, wrapping his arms around Alex's neck and throwing everything he had into the kiss. Alex set the box to the side and slid his arms around Hank's waist . He started to slide his hands underneath his shirt, prompting Hank to pull back, shaking his head. 

“Wait, not without your ring on too,” Hank said, plucking the box up from the floor and pulling the other ring out. He reached for Alex's hand with shaky fingers and slid the metal band onto his ring finger, giving up on trying to stop himself from crying. “There, now everything is perfect.”

Alex growled and pushed Hank onto his back, covering his body with his, bringing their lips together again. Hank groaned a little and pushed at Alex's shoulder until he rolled onto his back and pulled Hank on top of him. He pulled back quickly and kissed the tip of Alex's nose. “Sorry honey but that hurt a little.”

“Shit,” Alex said, his head raised slightly. “Please tell me that the doctor gave you permission to have sex. I completely fucking forgot about that when I was planning this.”

Hank grinned and nodded. “We've got to take it easy, and I would prefer a bed, but you better believe we are having sex.”

“Good,” Alex said, reaching up to wipe the tears from Hank's face. “Dinner before or after?”

“After,” Hank said, standing up and heading towards the stairs. “I eat every day, I haven't had you inside me for six weeks.” 

\------------------------------

Darwin walked into the break room and headed towards the refrigerator, trying to remember what it was he'd brought with him for lunch. His head was bowed, gaze fixed firmly upon the report he held in his left hand, reading through the details of the exhibit the museum had just secured, and so he was startled when he walked straight into something he wasn't expecting to be there. His head shot up and the papers fell from his grasp, the apology on his lips dying out as he got a good look at the man he'd just walked in to. 

The man smiled at him and mumbled an apology of his own, bending down to swipe up the papers. Darwin glanced down and realized there were far more sheets scattered than he had been holding, his brain taking a moment before it clicked that the man must have been doing the same thing he had been, reading and walking and not paying any attention to where he was going. 

Darwin crouched down and started collecting the papers that were around him, allowing himself a smile at the situation's expense. “I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying any attention.”

“It's alright, neither was I,” the man said, and Darwin immediately noted the strange accent of his words, allowing himself to ponder where exactly this man was originally from. “How many pages were you holding? I had about fifteen, I think. Oh, we should just sort them out and not count, right? That way we make sure that we've each got the correct ones.”

Darwin nodded and picked up the last of the pages, standing back up and walking towards one of the tables, settling the sheets down and beginning to rifle through them. “I don't,” he started, pausing when he realized he was about to sound like an idiot but then forcing himself to finish the sentence anyway. “I don't think I've ever see you around before.”

“Oh, I'm fairly new,” the man said, setting the pages he had gathered down and sorting through them. “I've only been here for about six months.”

Darwin glanced up at him. “Six months? Still, I'd think I would have seen you by now.”

“I spend most of my time in my office,” the man said, sighing as the edge of one of the sheets sliced the end of his finger. “Shit.”

Darwin reached towards a napkin but stopped when the man brought his finger up to his lips and sucked on the edge of it, biting back a groan and most decidedly not thinking about how talented the man's mouth might be. He turned back to the papers when he saw the man glance in his direction, forcing himself not to look back at him because he already knew he was making a complete fool of himself. “You're not the only one who spends most of their time in an office. I think this is the first time I've actually made it to the break room for lunch in about a month.”

“What is it that you do?” the man asked quietly, sucking at his finger one last time before going back to sorting out the papers. 

Darwin swallowed and tried desperately to get the mental image of spreading the man across the table and having his way with him out of his head. “I design the exhibits,” he said, waving his hand in some pathetic attempt to make the man understand what that meant before deciding he was definitely banging his head against his desk a few hundred times once he was back in the safety of his office. “The pieces come in and I decide how we're going to arrange them, if we need columns to set pieces on top of or if we need certain materials in a display case. Stuff like that.”

“Ah, you are Darwin then,” the man said, a brilliant smile crossing his face. “I finally meet the man that makes my pieces look good!”

Darwin set the last page into a pile and looked over at him, unable to keep a matching smile off his face. “You purchase the pieces for the museum. Took over from James when he retired.”

“Well, they aren't all purchases,” the man said, pausing to examine the last page before putting it in a pile. “Some of them are loan arrangements with other museums that are touring exhibits around, but yes, I took over from James.” 

Darwin smiled and handed one of his piles to him, taking one in return. “I've been dreaming up concepts all morning ever since you sent out that email concerning the new pieces you're bringing in.”

“Excellent,” the man said. “I know you will make them look fabulous once we get them into a room.” He glanced at his watch and sighed. “Excuse me, I'm going to be late for a conference call.”

“Of course,” Darwin said, watching as the man headed towards the door. “Wait, what did you say your name was? I'm having a completely blank moment and cannot remember it.”

The man paused in the doorway and gave him another smile. “I didn't but it's Bishop. Lucas Bishop. I'll see you around, Darwin.”


End file.
